When did your heart go missing?
by MissMimi87
Summary: AU Brooke is an outcast with a terrible secret, Lucas Scott is popular kid, will he find out what her secret is and can he save her? major Brucas with baley, laley friendships and minor Naley
1. Chapter 1

a/n The name is a line from a song by Rooney, i did debate between this name and love will come through by travis, but i think this name fits the story better. This is a sort of introduction chapter and its just Brooke. Hope you enjoy it.

**_When did your heart go missing?_  
**

I was lying in bed curled in a ball listening to Rooney on the radio, my eyes red and puffy my lips swollen from all the tears I had shed.

_When did your heart go missing?_

My life is one big mess, one huge fucking mess, and I can answer exactly when it turned into this mess and when my heart went missing, when it disappeared so it could never get hurt again, so no-one could ever hurt me again. It was May 13th at 20:52, 3 days after my mum died, my dad had been at bars drowning his sorrows pretty much non stop after the wake. When they finally chucked him out of a bar he came home and took out his anger on me. I was 12 at the time, and it may be 5 yrs later but I'm still his favourite punching bag, I'm still the thing he likes to take his daily frustrations and anger out on when he comes home from work.

He may be my father but I hate him more than words could ever describe, yet at the same time I still love him. It's conflicting and confusing but it's true he is still my father and even though I hate him and what he's done to me I still love him and the opportunities I have in life because of him. But the overriding emotion I feel when I hear his car pull up in the driveway or hear the door open to indicate he's at home is fear I'm so terrified- terrified of him, of what he will do to me should I ever try to leave or tell anyone, which is why I went from little miss popularity to little miss no friends, because without any friends no-one cares and no-one will ever find out and so I'm safe. I'm lonely, lets face it I'm really fucking lonely but its only for one more year and then hopefully I'm off to university- I don't care which one just one that gets me out and as far away from his beatings as possible.

I hold my teddy bear even closer, the only thing I feel that loves me in this world and that's because as an inanimate object it doesn't know any better, but at least I can cry my tears and spill my secrets with out the world knowing and without getting judged.

--

After what has been a couple of hours lying in bed crying silent tears and feeling sorry for myself, I get up and walk into the bathroom. I need to have a shower and I to do damage control on the injuries my _father _has inflicted on me, the man is clever though he always leaves my face alone he's punched, beaten, burned, whipped and cut every other part of my body but my face is always left alone, so no-one gets suspicious. I slowly get undressed, and then I turn, my back to the large ceiling to floor mirror and hold the hand held mirror in my hand. Looking into the mirror in my hand I see my back is still bleeding freely, the wounds inflicted by my fathers' belt this evening being worse than I had originally thought although the bleeding had calmed down considerably and I know it will eventually stop, it always does.

I look at my clothes and sigh- I'm going to have to put them and my bed linen in the wash. The back is notoriously had to get at, so cleaning my wounds is not going to be an option- instead I get a bandage out to wrap my body after my shower, tomorrow I have gym and I can't bleed through my gym clothes.

I step into the shower and turn it on, I let out an audible gasp when the water touches my back the stinging eventually lessens as the shower progresses, I am very careful not to get soap or shampoo on it and when I step out of the shower I can only feel a faint throb.

I look into the mirror again at my back, my mind starts to wander to earlier this evening and what happened then that has me in pain now. I feel the tears well up in my eyes

"_Brooke" I hear my father slur. I freeze, catatonic with fear. When he's been drinking I know I'm in trouble, he always finds a reason real or made up._

"_Brookie wherrre are yooooouu?" he practically sings, I keep my kneeling position in front of the couch on the floor and carry on cleaning the ruby red wine stain out the rug carpet, I pray that he doesn't see me._

"_I see you Brookie Cookie, are you hiding from me?" I guess that was a wasted prayer. I stand up, I'm aware I'm shaking I just hope he doesn't notice._

"_No not hiding" He walks round from behind to where I'm standing, he looks at me and softly strokes my face, then he notices the stain. You'd have to be blind not to notice it, its like crimson red blood on a field of clean white snow- unmissable._

"_you stupid bitch" and he slaps my face so hard my head snaps up and I take a step back. I clutch my red cheek tears start to prick my eyes._

"_what are you some kind of drunk?" he asks, his words aren't slurred anymore, now they're just full of menace._

"_If I am its because I learn from the best" I literally have no idea where that remark came from or why I said it, I just know that now I'm going to get it. Before I even have time to gather my thoughts or try to apologise he's behind me and has grabbed my hair pulling my hair pulling my head so far back I have trouble taking breaths and my tears travel down the sides of my face into my hair._

"_I'm not going to have a drunk for a daughter" He whispers into my hair just loud enough for me to hear. Then suddenly he pushes me and I fall face forward onto the floor my body making a dull thud as it fits the hard wooden floor. I struggle as I try to get up but there's a weight on me holding me down making it hard for me to breathe and I realise my father is sitting on top of me, making an escape is impossible. I hear the sound of his belt being whipped off and I feel my shirt being pushed up. I squeeze my eyes tight and pray for it to be over soon._

While gently drying myself I start to wander when it started getting worse? At first it was punching and kicking a few times a week, now it was at least once a day and the violence had grown to where he put permanent scars on my body. At least I haven't been hospitalised. Yet.

I had even started drinking to numb the emotional pain my mind was being put through, its probably not the best considering that alcohol is the cause of all my fathers problems but its my only escape and I need it. I finish placing the bandage around my torso and I put my payjamas on, throwing the clothes I wore that day and my bed linen in my washing basket.

I hurry down the corridor to get to the linen closet. On the way back my dad comes out his bedroom as I walk past I stop in my tracks and he looks at me for a minute. I know my eyes are filled with fear and dread, frightened at what his next move might be. Instead he pulls me into his arms and kisses my head, I flinch slightly at the pressure he's putting on my bruised and bleeding back and slightly because I don't like being touched by this man.

"I love you Brookie, soo soo much, and I'm so sorry I just get so mad you know?" Tears well in my eyes and I drop what I'm holding and I hug him back before letting go and turning to my room,

As I lie in bed hugging my teddy as if my life depended on it i whisper softly to myself 'I wish you would show it, show" before I slowly cry myself to sleep.

a/n: this is my first piece of written for OTH, and the first thing I've put up, so be kind =P  
I'd love to hear everyone's opinions. What you want/ think should happen and what you actually think of the chapter.  
So review and tell me if you think its any good and whether or not I should carry on with it.


	2. Be careful what you wish for

_**Disclaimer:**_ I don't own One tree hill, nor do I wish to. That would be waaay to much responsibility for a lazy person such as myself. I just enjoy watching it, and having fun with it.

Flashbacks are in _italics_

Enjoy =D

**Chapter 2: Be careful what you wish for**

I park my light mint green mini convertible in the student parking at school. I get out and lock the door, the one thing I don't mind about my life is the fact we're rich.I have my own credit card and I can spend as much as I want, although I usually don't because I don't want another reason for dad to hurt me. And also it kind of feels like blood money; I hurt you but I give you lots of money so its ok. As a result I don't go shopping too often, only shop when I need to or because I am in desperate need of some retail therapy which, lets face it is a good as medicine if not better for certain ailments and it is definitely needed at times.

I walk into the main building of school, towards my locker, I open the cold metallic door, and pull out the books I need placing the ones I don't need inside. As I close the door and turn around I see a group walk past almost in slow motion; Peyton, Haley, Nathan, Lucas and Jake.

My heart sinks to the bottom of my stomach, I used to be best friends with Peyton and Haley, you wouldn't guess it now, not with the way they treat me, but my heart always sinks every time I see them. I just want to cry, to my surprise I do feel my eyes start to prickle. I wish I was still part of that group taking part in the laughing and the gossiping but I guess life had a different path for me, a path filled with thorns, thistles and jagged stones but it's the path I have to go down for now, hopefully I'll get to some crossroads soon.

--

I wait a couple minutes, opening my locker and hiding my head in it to make sure that the tears that had threatened to spill just a few moments before had completely gone.  
I walk into class and hide in the back, its all part of my being as invisible as possible act. No-one can see or hear me back here, no-one can laugh or throw things, like I said invisible.

"yeh Brooke was totally normal one day and then she just stopped talking, its like she morphed into these huge freak over night. She's soo weird"

I hear Peyton talking about me a couple tables away to Lucas and Jake; they weren't friends with me back then so they don't really know me. I can't say that it didn't hurt to hear one of the people I used to love talk about me like I was Frankenstein's monster but it was a decision I made and now I have to live with it. Its like they say, you've made your bed and now you have to laying in it no matter how tidy or messy it is. I turned my head to look out the window and I blocked my hearing so I wouldn't have to listen to anymore Brooke bashing.

Although I'm pretty sure they're now staring at me I continue to ignore them, and then suddenly I'm brought out of my daydream world when something hits my head. I turn to look at what it was that hit me, a scrunched up piece of paper which I gently push off my desk, before turning to look out the window again.

"Brooke, heey bitch. What you think your soo much better than me you can ignore me"

I turn to look at Peyton, I notice that Nathan and Lucas are standing behind her grinning, Jake isn't even taking notice of whats going on and Haley just looks sorry. I guess Haley is the compassionate one of the group Peyton the bitch and Lucas and Nathan are Peytons two little lackeys. I guess, no I _know_ I must've hurt her more than I thought when I stopped talking to her and stopped being friends with her.

_--_

_I walk slowly and carefully into Peytons room, my face red and stained from the tears I had already shed and my eyes glistening from the tears that hadn't yet. Peyton jumps off her bed knocking her art to the floor and runs up to me pulling me into the tightest most comforting hug._

"_Shhhh its ok, just cry" She says softly stroking my hair. I just let go, the floodgates open and the tears fall, and i feel like they'll never stop. Haley who was also sitting on the bed when I came in, jumps off and joins in the hug rubbing my back in a comforting manner._

"_It's ok, we're here for you sweetie, don't forget that" Haley tells me. We're in the embrace for so long and I feel so safe and I never want to let go. Inevitably though we do, my tears have slowly stopped falling and I know I look terrible; strands of my hair are stuck to my face, my lips and eyes are red and swollen and there are visible tear tracks down my cheeks, but I don't care and I know they don't care either._

"_You guys are amazing, I don't know what I'd do without you" I say truthfully when I feel I can speak normally again without the threat of tears._

"_We will always be here for you, and for eachother" Haley tells us "your mum was such a lovely person, we're also going to miss her" she adds_

"_Yeh, you know… lets promise to be friends forever" Peyton says._

And we do, we promised, and for a few days Peyton and Haley were my biggest comfort after my mum died. Of course it didn't last, my dad started to hurt me and I pulled away from them. I really don't blame them for hating me now and treating me the way they do. In some ways I think I may have broken their hearts and thats something thats really hard to forgive.

I look away and sigh, I know Peyton would have done or said something else if the teacher hadn't walked in at that moment, all she does is just sneezes bitch when my name is read off the register, very original, I just roll my eyes. I guess it's hard being invisible to a group of people you were very visible to once upon a time.

--

I get changed in the toilets pulling the long sleeved top over my head carefully making sure I don't put any pressure on my back, its been getting slowly more and more painful today and I'm worried it might get infected- I'm going to have to take it easy today in gym, as for now I take an aspirin for the pain and I make a mental note to be careful.

Peyton however doesn't have the same idea and does not want to does not want me to be care, I find out a couple of minutes later. Even when Haley says to take it easy on me she just seems to make it harder for me.

I turn around to get some water, and that's when she throws the basket ball at full force at my back hitting it smack in the centre of my back, the epicentre of my wounds. The pain is soo excruciating I actually faint. When I come to a couple seconds later I see everyone peering down at me. The gym teacher orders everyone to back away and give me some space before ordering me to go to the nurse's office. I agree to go.

As I'm walking down the corridor, my pass in my hand I realise seeing the nurse is not a good idea. These injuries aren't easily explained away short of saying I feel backwards on a bunch of razors or I was attacked by a horde of angry kittens with only my back exposed to their sharp nails, which any nurse with training and a bit of common sense would see right through and know it was a lie.

Anyway it wouldn't explain the old bruises and not quite healed cuts that litter my body and then coupled with the scars… no I couldn't go to the nurse, the last thing I need is to be placed in foster care when the light at the end is soo near. So I turn around and hit a rather large solid thing.

"watch where your going" I look up and see a pair of beautiful sea blue eyes. Great I run into the one and only Lucas Scott, half brother of Nathan Scott, both star players of the basketball team.

"I-I'm sor-" I start to stutter an apology but he interrupts me.

"Brooke Davis right" I nod, away from the others he seems ok, but I can't be sure. He has such a serious look on his face, which I think is actually just his normal face, I don't think I've ever seen him look anything other than serious.

"What are you doing out of lesson?" he asks me, I look at him blankly, he's out of class too but you don't see me asking him why, I hold up my pass to the nurses office

"I fainted in Gym" I explain simply.

"Why are you going in the opposite direction then?" Seriously, am I unknowingly taking part in a game of 20 questions? Because this guy is really nosy.

"Well I've been and now I'm going back to get changed" I lie, he looks like he doesn't believe me but whatever, this guy hasn't exactly shown any interest in me except to tease so I don't exactly care what he has to say. In fact I don't even know why I'm answering his questions.

"Whatever" He says, and I turn to walk off to the changing rooms and as I'm about to walk off he grabs my arm

"Ooww that hurts" I complain, and he lets go. It didn't actually hurt, just the suddenness of it had caught me by surprise, and I wanted him to let go.

"What's wrong with your back?" he asks, he may have looked serious before- now he just looks shocked, its etched in every aspect of his face.

'Shit' I think to myself, the force from that ball must have reopened the wounds, I bet a few of them probably need stitches but I can't sew up what I can't reach. They must have bled through the bandage and onto the shirt. 'shit, shit SHIT this is the last thing I need' I think to myself and how do I explain this believably.

"yesterday I was playing on the swings in the park and I fell and landed on my back, hurt like hell and I scrapped like a lot of skin off the middle of my back it was really gross, and I guess when the ball hit my back it reopened and started bleeding and the pain made me faint" I watch as his blue eyes darken and narrow, I don't think he believes me but why would he care anyway?

He doesn't say anything and he walks off down the empty corridor muttering a faint "whatever" under his breath.

I let out the breath I was holding and walk to the changing rooms to do a little damage control. I take the bandage off and immediately feel blood start to trickle down my back, you can see which bits of the bandage where on my back because instead of being a pearly white it's drenched in a deep scarlet red.

"This is bad" I whisper to myself, 'what do I do?' I think to myself and I almost have a panic attack I'm soo stressed. The pain is quite bad but I can't have another aspirin because I just had one so I do what people say and just suck it in. Eventually I decide to tie my shirt to myself as a sort makeshift bandage, and decide I'll keep my coat on to hide it until I get home.

When I wished that nobody would care it was because I thought it make everything that much easier for me. But it hasn't, its not easier its harder, everything is so much harder and the only person who's benefitted from it is dad. What is it people say? Be careful what you wish for, it might just come true. I know _exactly_ what they mean now.

_**

* * *

**_

_****_

A/N: Some Brucas interaction there for ya.

Please, please review this chapter, I'm not sure what I make of it, whether I like it or not and hearing your opinions on this chapter and the story so far would be really helpful. You know like what I'm doing good/bad. If you have any idea's it'll be awesome to hear.

Thank you soooo much to the people that reviewed the last chapter:

_**stagediva23,**_

_**WWE-ZARA-BRATHAN-09,**_

_**Brucas10, **_

_**sunshine,**_

_**Long Live BRUCAS**_

I really enjoyed them. I wasn't sure what to expect so thank you very much, cus I've never really done anything like this before! I hope you read and enjoyed this chapter.


	3. Bitter and tainted the picture you paint

_**Disclaimer:**_ Nothing has happened since I wrote the last chapter, I still don't own a thing when it comes to One Tree Hill. Trust me if I did it would be a lot different.

_**A/N:**_ I know this story isn't very light hearted, but hopefully you guys will stick with it and enjoy it!

The name is from a line from my favourite song by lifehouse- only one

**Chapter 3: Bitter and tainted the picture you painted**

_The hatred you're carrying is a live coal in your heart far more damaging to your self than to them  
-__**Lawana Blackwell  
----**_

Brooke Davis; that girl intrigues me, she had it all and one day she just let it all go. I used to watch her in junior high, she was beautiful, outgoing and friends with everyone, and then suddenly one day she wasn't. I watched her as she slowly withdrew into herself until all that was left was an empty shell of the girl she had once been. Sure the looks where there but that was the only way you could tell that it was Brooke Davis you were looking at, and if you took that away you'd be staring at nothing, there would just be an empty space because all that had once embodied everything she was, and everything she had stood for slowly disappeared, just leaving the shell. And I'd be lying if I said I didn't find that intriguing.

I was also intrigued as to what was wrong with her back. I knew that she was lying, that was pretty damn obvious, the fear in her hazel green eyes when I asked her what was wrong was enough to tell me that, the look may have only darkened her face for a second- but it was still there and it told me all I needed to know.

But my life is a bit busy at the moment to really care as to what's going on with Brooke, I'll find out but it's not on my top list of priorities. I mean I've only recently been allowed to 'join' the popular group having only made friends with my half brother at the end of last year when I joined the basketball team.  
Slowly I've been learning about the group, it's dynamics, and history, how Brooke, Peyton and Haley used to be really close friends but how Brooke suddenly stopped hanging out with them and how Peyton is still bitter about that, but Haley seems to have made her peace about it and wants to desperately be her friend again but doesn't know how to go about it.

Haley, I know it's cheesy but I smile to myself when I start to think about her, she's just the most kind, compassionate and loving person I've ever met. She's such a special person, how many cheerleaders do you see tutoring in their spare time? Yet that what she does and she loves doing it. Cheerleading is almost like an obligation for her but tutoring and music is her passion and what she loves. In the last few months we've fast become really close friends, sharing secrets and having fun.

Peyton, the blonde curly goddess I have worshipped from afar since I was 8, who I had desperately wanted to date, who I was dating right now, and who was nothing like what I had expected. She is sometimes cold and could be so cruel to certain people, is always blowing hot and cold and she could be so selfish always expecting people to consider her feelings but never considering theirs. Although it doesn't mean she doesn't have her good points she's loyal and a great friend to those who are lucky enough to befriend her, and she's soo talented with her art and her passion for music is also something I admire, its like my passion for literature and something we bond over, but I'm just not sure if her good points outweigh her bad.

Jake, he's a great guy, my best male friend, and we have fun spending time down the rivercourt playing ball with Nate, he was the first to befriend me when I joined the team, when Nathan wanted the guys to have nothing to do with me.

And then theres Nathan- we're just learning at the moment how to be friends, I guess it's going to take some time but at least we're both willing to try. And with Haley dating Nathan and being my best friend she's really forced the two of us to learn to get along and now we're even becoming friends. Our fragile friendship is not something I want broken anytime soon.

----

I walk outside and take a seat at one of the lunch tables, waiting for the others to come join me.

As it turns out I just can't get her out of my mind. I put my head in my hand and close my eyes, its like her hazel green eyes are seared into my brain, the large dark patch on the back of her grey shirt and her scared face looking at me is replaying over and over in my mind as if its there to drive me insane. Maybe its my conscience telling me to not put finding out what's happened or happening with Brooke on the backburner, but I shake my head and dismiss the thought. Still I can't get those images out my mind.

And then suddenly I jump as I feel arms wrap around around my shoulder, pulling me out of my thoughts, and I turn to find Peyton standing behind me moving to sit next to me as she takes my hand into hers. I look around and everyone is here already even though it feels like a second ago the courtyard was deserted.

"Hey baby" she says as she kisses my cheek, I smile back at her.

"Well I think you should apologise" Haley says, it seems like her and Peyton are in the middle of some sort of argument.

"Why should I the witch had it coming" I see Peytons eyes flashing dangerously

"It has been 5 years, let it go Peyt" ahh so they're talking about Brooke, she is a popular topic of conversation when it comes to Peyton but not for the right reasons.

"I saw her earlier, she said something about a ball hitting her back" I join in. Haley looks pointedly at Peyton.

"Erm, yeh that was me" At least she has the decency to look ashamed.

"You threw a ball at Brookes back" Nathan says sitting down, "why?" I listen intently I want to know why too.

"Because she was getting on my last nerve, she can't play basketball and she wasn't doing what I was saying" Peyton replies her voice getting shriller by the second.

Nathan laughs which earns him an angry glare from Haley.

"Its not funny" she hisses at him, "She fainted and had to go to the nurses room and none of us have seen her since" I look at Peyton while Haley says this and notice her face flush a deep pink and she looks guilty, but the look is gone almost before it was even there.

"I wasn't laughing at that" Nathan says defending himself, "just Peyton said that Brooke was bad at basketball and I was remembering how bad. You know those 2 against 2 games we used to play, where peyton and I always beat the two of you because you guys never managed to get the ball in the net once even though we played like at least four times a week" Nathan laughed looking back fondly at the old memories.

Haley smiles at him, it looks like she's also remembering those times and the fun they all used to have. I get a twinge of jealousy, I wish I had also been friends with them back then. I turn to look at Peyton who actually looks like she's in pain, maybe its too hard for her to remember, and I actually feel sorry for her. Haley turns and looks at Peyton

"I think you should get over it" Haley says as she gets up, personally I agree with her. "I'm going to the tutor centre" she says as she walks away.

"You do realise Peyt, what you did was wrong, right?" Nathan says also getting up.

"Nate-" Peyton starts but Nathan put his hand up and stops her.

"I don't want to hear it, you know should apologise" Nathan walks off, my guess is that he's off to the weight room, ever since Whitey said that he was too scrawny and needed to build up more muscle Nathan has practically lived in the weight room, spending any spare moment he can in there.

"When did Nathan have the fucking moral high ground? Some of the shit he's pulled has been a lot worse than this, you should know" Peyton grinds out clearly annoyed at the tellings off she's been getting. However I think the comment is a low blow, sure Nathan has done many questionable things, but he's changed for the better since he had started dating Haley "Why do they care so much about her? She abandoned them, I'm their friend they should be on my side" she whines taking some of my fries at the same time.

"I think its about knowing what's right and wrong" I give some input, but its obviously not what Peyton wanted to hear as she glares at me and hisses

"I know what the difference is between right and wrong" and she storms off.

I shrug and let her go off. That girl seriously lives for the drama, letting her go and not forcing a big confrontation will no doubt piss her off but I seriously couldn't care less.

I sit there surrounded by the other players and the noise level goes up around me and people start talking and laughing with each other. I guess they realise I'm not really in the mood to talk because after a few tries they leave me alone. And I'm happily left to my own thoughts- which mainly revolve around Brooke and what was going on with her, I decide I want to get to know her better whatever is happening there doesn't feel kosher.

----

I hear the bell go and I get up my thoughts now definitely revolving around Peyton and our relationship which I am seriously reconsidering, she's nothing like I thought she was, I guess it was easier to admire her from afar. They say the dream is always better than the reality and I just found out how true that is first hand. The problem is I don't want to hurt her because she is a nice person most of the time.

I slid into my seat and wait for the teacher to come in, I'm still trying to figure out how to let Peyton down gently.

Its about 10 minutes into the lesson when she comes in, looking all flustered and muttering apologises for being late. I smile to myself Brooke may be the most beautiful person I've ever seen, with her long chocolate brown hair with bangs, and her beautiful hazel green eyes that give away every emotion she's feeling and those soft red kissable looking lips. What I don't understand is why she's so covered up when it looks like she has an amazing body. While I was studying Brooke intently I stopped listening to the teacher, I came to when he stood in front of my desk.

"You'll be happy Mr Scott, you will be able to stare at Miss Davis a lot more you two will be study partners on this project" I hear the rest of the class snigger and I looked at Brooke who just rolls her eyes, she seems to do that a lot. Someone somewhere must've heard when I said I wanted to get to know this mysterious beauty.

Wait, could I… possibly like Brooke? Nooo I reject this thought I just want to know her secret.

--B--

Its typical I'm late and the teacher pairs me with_ Lucasss Scott. _ God even his name is annoying. I bet its because I was late and Mr Reynolds is punishing me, but it wasn't my fault I was late, I raced home to get changed and get a new bandage as fast as I could, I don't control the traffic! I wish I did but I don't. Argh! Damn Mr Reynolds and Damn Lucas and Damn traffic! I'm just going to have to be extra careful Lucas doesn't find anything out.

I just have to make it to the end of the year and then I'm gone- its like my little mantra that I repeat to myself every day it makes each passing day easier to get through.

I take my chair and walk over to Lucas' desk, I place the chair opposite and I drop myself into it heavily, annoyance written all over my features and visible in my body language.

He stares at me for what feels like eternity but its probably just a couple seconds, I find it very unnerving and for lack of anything else to do I just stare back at those intense blue orbs of his. He finally looks down at his book and then looks at me with this stupid goofy grin and whispers:

"What's this project about, I wasn't listening" he asks me.

"typical" I mumble, although its barely audible I'm pretty sure he heard me because the grin has suddenly morphed into a glare. "We have to do a project on two time periods and the authors at the time and the writing trends of those times and then compare the two" I see Lucas put that silly grin back on his face.

"This is great if there is one thing I know, and know well its authors and literature" And I smile at him, at the moment I have a perfect GPA and I need to keep my grades up to keep it and I'm glad I'm not partnered with someone who'll make me do all the work and then take all the credit, well at least I don't think he will. Suddenly I realise he's been talking and I start to listen.

"- come round this evening to yours" I can feel my eyes widen, shit we have to meet up after school for the project, nononono _no _good can come of this. What do I do, I know my dad will freak if he finds a guy in the house with me, but he'll also freak if I'm not there when he gets home, _crap._

"You can't come to mine" I blurt out. I notice his expression become curious, "But we can do this work at yours until 5" I look at him and from his reaction I can tell that it's a no can do unfortunately.

"I can't I have basketball practise till 5 today and tomorrow" He tells me in a matter of fact tone "its basketball season" he adds with a shrug of his shoulders.

I become thoughtful while I try to think of a solution to our scheduling conflicts, I chuckle at this thought; scheduling conflicts? Who do I think I am a 30 yr old business woman?

His curious expression deepens when I let out that chuckle.

"Ok, how about this for a solution, we can work at the library during lunch and during free periods and I can come round on Sunday if you want?" I watch as Lucas seems to contemplate this idea for a couple minutes and then nodding in agreement

"Works for me" He states if I'm not mistaken in a cheerful tone, who knew he did anything other than serious, brooding and curious "So I guess we have to choose our time periods" He says turning serious, ahhh this is much better, I was almost missing his serious face. Even though I've only encountered him a few times I've noticed in lessons and seeing him around school he is one serious dude.

I nod at what he says and I smile softly to myself while I start writing down notes in my book.

--L--

I look at Brooke smile, she has a beautiful smile with two of the deepest dimples I have ever seen. I wonder for a little while why I forgot she had dimples before I realise I have _**never**_seen Brooke smile in the last 5 years, and this disturbs me slightly. Why does she never smile? and why doesn't she want me to go round to her house? and why did she stop talking to everyone and become a loner overnight? These are things I'm putting on my ever growing list of what to find out about a one, miss Brooke Davis, at least it'll be easier to find out now that I'm her partner for this project.

We're both quietly getting on with some of the work we've assigned ourselves for the beginning of this project. When she starts talking in this quiet, matter of fact voice.

"Oh by the way" She says so I look up "I haven't had anything lower than an A in the last 5 yrs in all my subjects, even calculus which I find really hard, I'm not going to let anything bring my mark down in this class"

Hmmm, her social life may have disappeared in that time but at least her academic life has been doing well in the last few years. The bell goes before I have a chance to say anything back, not that I know what to say to that. She puts her books swiftly back in her bag. And the two of us walk out of class in silence, into the busy corridor outside of it.

"So the library tomorrow lunch and, my house Sunday at 12?" I say confirming what we discussed earlier. She nods and I watch her walk out through the double I guess to her car and then home.

----

I start walking to the gym. I know that girl is hiding something, I've never been so sure of anything in my life, and I'm going to find out what it is although I know it's pretty major if the blood from this morning is anything to go by. I'm going to have to tread carefully especially since I only have a gut instinct.

I feel a hand snake round my waist and I turn to see a pair of green eyes staring back at me, my heart sinks which can't be a normal feeling when you see your girlfriend.

"hello Peyton" I say as I carry on walking to the gym, she grabs hold of my hand and walks with me, I guess she isn't that angry with me after all, although I feel slightly disappointed at that, like I hoped she would be.

We're in the gym, the girls having a small break at the same time us players are having a small break. Peyton and the girls walk over to me and the other guys. Whitey having left the gym to take an important call.

"So, I hear you've been paired with the freak for your English project," Peyton says adding "you have my condolences" she looks at me expecting some kind of answer, that I'm guessing she wants the words; how annoyed I am at the situation and I would try and change partners involved. but the only way I could think to answer with:

"yeh what of it?" Peyton looks at me face filled with shock, looking at me like I should know better.

"I hear she smells really funny and she has body lice" Bevin one of he cheerleaders says, to be honest I expect that kind of comment from her she's a parrot always repeating what she hears without any thought, although she doesn't mean any harm by it. "Wait we are talking about Brooke Davis right" she adds a bit confused.

"Ha she's soo weird you know she self harms, that's why she always covered up wearing jeans and long sleeves and that why she gets changed away from us" Teresa adds maliciously.

Some of the other cheerleaders join in, all except Haley and the new cheerleader Rachel who are sitting on the bleachers with Nathan, which doesn't surprise Rachel seems to have taken to really hating Peyton and tries to piss her off in anyway possible, in fact I'm surprised she hasn't tried to make friends with Brooke already as a way to get back at Peyton. Then again she's new and probably doesn't know the history yet, she will soon enough though.

"God this is tired" Haley says shooting Peyton an angry glare, from where she's sitting by Nathan. The two musketeers seem to have had a really big falling out. Peyton sends an angry glare back,

"She's a bitch and I'll talk about her if I want" is Peytons angry reply.

"Your the one being a bitch Peyton Sawyer" Haley retorts anger lacing her voice and visible in her darkening expression "Like I said earlier I know your hurting but its been 5 yrs, its time to let go and move on, its not healthy" Haley is never one to sugar-coat a situation, she just calls it as she see's it.

I see Rachels perfectly plucked eyebrow go up but she keeps her mouth shut. I guess she's intrigued as to why Peyton hates Brooke soo much.

"you don't know anything Haley so keep you god damn mouth shut!" Peyton snaps, she's just as angry and her voice laced with malice.

"Hey don't talk to Haley like that" Nathan starts to get up to say he's angry is an understatement, Haley pulls him down and whispers softly in his ear before kissing his shoulder and laying her head on his arm which she wraps her arm around. This seems calm Nathan down, though his eyes still shoots daggers at Peyton.

Peyton sighs and turns to me,

"We up for Sunday" she asks, shit I totally forgot about our date on Sunday, we were supposed to drive down to Charlotte for the day, there's some record store there that sells rare music LPs or something.

"I can't sorry, it's the only day Brooke and I could agree on to do the project together" I see Peytons whole demeanour stiffen up and her eyes narrow and grow colder than an Alaskan winter.

"Whatever, you'd rather spend the whole day with that freaky slut than with your _girlfriend_, I'll be damned if I care" she stresses the word girlfriend, like I could possibly forget. I now understand that phrase 'the 'ole ball and chain'

"It's not that I want to I _have_ to." I try to explain, why I have no idea I'm kind of hoping she will break up with me here and now to save me from having to do it to her but of course I'm not going to be so lucky.

"You'll just have to make it up to me later" she says with a wink. "Right break is over people, get in position" she yells and I stare at her retreating back.

I keep my mouth shut, I can't break up with her now in the middle of practice in front of everyone, that's not only cold its cruel, I'll wait till we're alone to do it.

_----_

_Many people hold onto a grudge because it offers the illusion of power and a perverse feeling of security. But in fact, we are held hostage by our anger._

_**-**__**Robert Karen**__** Phd**_

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_**A/N**_- There's some Leyton/pucas w/e they're called but that won't be for long it's a Brucas story. I know Peyton is being a bit of a meanie at the moment, but I have plans for her, she's not the villian in this story.

Ok so that's this chapter done with. I have a few questions for you

what did you think? I'm definitely iffy about this chapter, I wasn't sure about it being in Lucas' point of view too or whether it was best seeing it all from Brooke's view point. (this story will only be seen through their eyes- it is a Brucas story so I guess its only fair Lucas gets his 2 cents in)

Do you want there to eventually be the Breyton friendship? (Baley is a given)

Do you want Rachel to be after Lucas, or do you want there to be a Brachel friendship?

I'd love to thank everyone who put this story in their favourites, put it on the story alert thing (although I'm not quite sure what that actually is) and everyone that reviewed the last chapter

_**BDavisLScott23**_

_**-SlumdogDelaware**_

_**plasticlittlespastic**_

_**Long Live Brucas**_

_**Brucas10**_

Thank you for taking time to review it hopefully you'll read and enjoy this chapter too.

Please review, it brightens my day and it makes me want to post a new chapter.


	4. caring is creepy

_**Disclaimer: **__I still don't own it One Tree Hill, only have fun with it_

_**A/N: **__Just sit back, relax and enjoy the ride people. (chapter name is from a song by the shins... but your probably already knew that)  
_

_**Chapter 4:Caring is Creepy**_

_The purpose of life is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experience._

-_**Eleanor Roosevelt**_

--B--

So here I am, standing in front of my mirror and I'm nervous, in fact I'm soo nervous I'm actually playing with my hair and biting on my lip in an effort to calm myself down. My clothes are on the bed waiting for me to try them on and decide on a final outfit. While my eyes stay looking directly into the mirror I turn and look at my back. It's still red, angry and sore, but it's not as painful anymore, it's definitely healing. I put some antiseptic cream in the areas I can reach and that seems to be doing the trick. I turn back and study myself full on in the mirror. I'm just in patterned matching cotton bra and pants, its nothing special, I look down at my toned stomach which would probably look perfect if it wasn't for the white and purple scars that littered it and the ugly bruises that were sustained recently started around the midsection on my right side and went down to about my mid thigh. Boy was dad angry last night, there was some problem at work and as usual it was me who bore the brunt of it not the inept business men that caused it.

I stop examining my appearance for a moment and walk over to my bed I look at all the clothes I have displayed on the bed, I need to wear something that hides everything up but doesn't scream loser or 'nun'. This is my daily ritual for school and I'm slightly annoyed I have to do it at the weekend too, it takes too much effort. Usually my weekends consist of homework and just being lazy around the house. We have a cleaner but she comes during the weekday so I don't have to worry about covering myself up at the weekend.

I finally decide on what I'm going to wear, a black and white long sleeved tunic dress with an empire line and a pair of black skinny jeans and my favourite pair Kurt Geiger platform sandal heels. I smile at my reflection in the mirror, I don't look half if I do say so myself, I have minimal make-up on, only light foundation, blush and mascara and have my hair up in a messy ponytail. I then, after looking at myself for a couple of minutes with a blank mind and glazed over eyes, come to realise something that puts me into a fit of hysterics.

"you my dear have a crush on Lucas Scott" I say to my reflection after I gather my thoughts and calm down. "one big 'ole miiiighty crush" I dissolve into laughter again but I'm not sure why. Why do I find it so funny? Maybe because it's futile, there's no way Lucas would ever like me that way we've only been talking in each others lives for a couple weeks, and even if by some freak of nature he did there's no way my father would late me date and if we found a way around that Lucas would probably see my scars and that would put a whole dampener on the relationship.

Although that being said, it doesn't mean I can't get dressed up for him now does it? Getting dressed up is half for me anyway so… I shake my head as I grab my bag with all the work and books and I make my down to my car.

---

Even though we've been working on this project for a couple weeks we've been doing it in the library even at the weekends, there was one weekend at the beginning when I was supposed to go to his but he called up apparently he had already made plans he forgot about. I arrive outside his house, it's pretty large, not as big as mine but still pretty damn big. I look into the mirror and make sure that my make-up is still perfect before I skip up to the intimidating large oak doors and knock. 5 minutes later and there's still no answer. I ring the bell this time and wait a couple minutes still no answer. What the? Where the hell is Lucas? I've been outside his door for over 10 minutes now and, lets just say I'm not a happy bunny. I take my cell phone out and am about to call him to give him a piece of my mind, when the door swings open and I come face to face with a man, a cheerful man with a big smile on his face and a baby in his arms.

"erm, Hello" I say shaking his free hand, I sound awkward but I don't know what else to say, this man is not Lucas Scott and I was expecting Lucas, I am officially out of my comfort zone.

"Hello" he says cheerfully shaking my hand in return, I doubt this is Lucas' father he looks too damn happy, "I'm Keith and this little devil is Lily"

"Hello Lily, I'm Brooke" I say to the little girl who just buries her head further into Keiths shoulder, great! Now I scare little kids.

"Lucas is out at the moment, but he should be home soon" Keith tells me, oooooh when Lucas gets here he'll get a piece of my mind I'm telling you.

Keith walks to the side to let me in and then closes the door behind me. I follow him into the living area. He motions to the large plush sofa, which I take to mean 'please have a seat' so I do. I sit and I look at him, he seems to be fussing over the little girl. He leaves the room, and I'm left all alone in this large cosy room. I know I look pretty stiff and uncomfortable despite the fact that this is the most comfortable sofa I have ever sat on, which seems like a strange compliment but its true. I have no idea where Lucas is and to say I'm pissed is an understatement, why did he go out when he knew I was coming over to do work?

For want of something to do, I look around the room and take in my surroundings. The room is a pale blue and white and it feels calm, there's the large sofa I'm sitting on and several other arm , in a semi circle round the mahogany table, fireplace with a mantel piece and large flat screen TV, theres also a large sound system in the room. Lucas' parents must have done good to be able to afford a place like this and its contents. There are ornaments as well in this room, but in safe places, I guess there's a breakage hazard with a little one around. I notice that there are lots of photos littering the room of Keith, Lucas, Lily and Lucas' mom, 'wow she's so pretty' I think to myself. I stand up and pick up some of the photo frames with the pictures inside. I look at one that looks like it's the most recent, they're all laughing, they so happy and carefree. I look at the picture and I wonder what it must be like to have two parents that care and love you. People say you can't miss what you have never experienced, but the problem is I did experience it; once upon a time I had to parents that cared and loved me, even though it feels like a lifetime ago it was only 5 years previous. And now its gone, they're both gone, buried, one in the ground and the other so deep down inside himself I don't think he'll ever find his way back.

I don't know how long I've been standing there looking at the photo feeling sorry for myself, but I gear a gentle fake cough and I jump a mile.

"sorry I was just-" I begin but Keith cuts me off

"Everyone likes that picture" he says as I put the photo back in its place on the mantel and I blush.

"So Luke's mobile is off. You can stay here and wait or, go home. It's up to you" Keith tells me as I take my seat once again. I debate in my mind as to what to do. Should I stay, this project is important and he could be already on his way back home, or he might have completely forgotten about this meeting and I could be here waiting for hours. Valuable time would be wasted, time I could spend on my other work or revising.

"I'll stay and wait" I say to Keith smiling, the truth is I don't want to be at home and time spent away from it, pretending to be a normal teenager, always makes me feel better, even if it feels worse when I return. He smiles warmly back at me, the beautiful little girl in his arms content with her bottle.

"so this is a nice house" I say trying to make conversation.

"yeh we brought it just before Lily was born" Keith starts to explain and I smile as I listen to his story.

--L--

The pounding of the ball on the tarmac is exhilarating, but nothing compares to when it goes through that hoop. The running, the jumping heck even the falling is all worth it when the ball goes through that hoop, nothing else matters and nothing could ever possibly compare to that feeling of accomplishment and purpose. This is why the game is so important to me, to Nathan and to the team, it's for these exact feelings, it gives you reason, and when you hear the crowd cheering well there aren't any words that could describe how important that makes you feel. My father never wanted me but when I'm on the court and I'm playing I forget everything because I know the crowd wants me and the team, well the team needs me.

"So I think Lucas and I officially whopped your asses" Nathan says with a smug smirk pulling me out of my reverie,

"Well that aint even fair dawg, you guys are Tree Hill Highs star players" Skillz upset as he feels the sting of defeat.

"There's 3 of you and 2 of us, it was pretty fair" Nathan replies, I laugh at this statement and Junk and Fergie smile two. They can see the humour of this situation.

"How about we forget the last 4 games and have an all or nothing game?" Skillz suggests, "What you think dawgs?" Junk and Fergie look at eachother and sigh,

"Dude I think you should give up, we haven't won a single game so far and I'm getting kinda tired" Junk replies, going to sit on the park bench next to Mouth, Fergie goes and joins them. They sit and look at us, I guess wondering what we'll do.

I get the ball and free throw it in the hoop. Nathan picks up the ball and does the same. We take our free throws in turns. While Skillz goes sits on the bench with the others. After about 5 minutes I hear my phone ring, I take it out my pocket and look at the caller ID. Peyton. I let out a groan. I end call without picking up and turn the phone off.

"Was that. Peyton?" Nathan asks, I nod, "Dude whats going on there? I thought you were going to break it off, but Hales says your still together, but says Peyton feels like your ignoring her"

I throw the ball into the hoop and turn to him, guilt written all over my face.

"I was going to break up with her, I… it's just we're never alone together ya know. I don't want to hurt her, she's a good person it's just, I think we make better friends" I look at Nathan looking at me, I can't quite read his face. He throws the ball in the hoop and I don't think he's going to say anything,

"Not only did it sound like you were trying to break up with me with that last line, you totally sounded like such a girl then. Oh and you know the only reason you haven't been alone with Peyton is because you've been ignoring her and that's not cool _especially, _because she tells Haley who tells me and dude, I can't sit through another hour of hearing how much of a jerk you can be. Seriously there are better more interesting things I can be doing with Haley than having to listen to my girlfriends best friends boy problems" He looks at me with pained eyes "Oh and what about that drive down to and from Charlotte you were alone with her then?" He adds as an after thought.

Well that day Peyton had been in her element and I just wanted her to have a good time and we hadn't been alone together since. I know Nathan is right though, how can I possibly hope to be alone with someone when I've been ignoring that person for the last couple of well weeks.

"And I'd do it soon, girls have a habit of getting attached to things if they have them too long, it'll hurt less if you do it sooner rather than later" Nathan adds, feeding the guilt I already feel in the pits of my stomach.

----

I go get the ball and we carry on with our free throws for a while, Mouth commentating in the background. After half an hour or so, a sleek silver jaguar convertible pulls up. A tall leggy, red haired girl steps out she's showing off a lot of skin in a pair of cut off shorts and a tight wifebeater. You wouldn't be a man if you didn't spend a moment appreciating the sight. Nathan gives me a smirk and I chuckle, Rachel sure does know how to make an entrance.

"Hello boys" Rachel says giving the guys on the picnic table a wink before walking over to me and Nathan. She picks the ball up from the ground and smiles at us. She throws the ball in the net and turns to face me while Nathan goes to pick up the ball and goes to sit with the others, spectators at the Rachel Lucas show.

"Heey, Rach, what you doing here?" I ask, curiosty getting the better of me, this isn't her usual hang out.

"I thought I'd hang out with my favourite player" she has a smirk on her face and an expression that makes me think she's up to something, although when isn't she up to something.

"you know Lucas" She says walking steadily up to me, reminding me of a lioness stalking her prey, she licking her lips, "We could be soo much fun together, I mean the sex would be fantastic, because well with me it always is" I hear the guys snigger in the background but Rachel ignores them her brown eyes staring into my blue eyes. I have no idea what to say to this, no girl in my life has ever been so forward to me, and Rachel looks like she's the kind of person who has never heard the word no before.

"Relax, we would just be friends with benefits, and trust me you would so feel the benefits, it would be soo much fun to annoy Goldilocks with you" Goldilocks is her not so flattering nickname for Peyton, Peyton hates it but Haley and I find it funny. Rachel is so close, now I can feel her breath on my cheek, I swallow audibly, for some reason I'm nervous, my heart isn't racing and I haven't got butterflies but my hands sweat slightly and I feel tense. I'm not sure why I'm nervous because I don't like Rachel in anyway apart from a friendship way, I guess its because I've never been in a situation like this let alone with someone as hot as Rachel. She wraps her arms around my neck and whispers in my ear.

"Don't worry I'll just be using you handsome, just for some good sex and to piss Peyton off. I'm just looking for some fun" I hear a car door slam and tyres screech in the background, I turn around and see Peyton's car speed in to distance. I shut my eyes, damn, this can not be good.

"See your doing your job already" Rachel says happily walking back to her car, as I walk over to the guys at the bench all of them seem to be laughing at me, I roll my eyes at them in a 'whatever guys' kind of way.

"Why didn't any of you try to save me, she was eating me alive" I say facing them.

"Dude it totally didn't look like you need saving and it was kinda fun to watch" Mouth says, "and why would you want saving, I mean have you seen her?" Our little Mouth has got a little crush it would seem, out of all the girls, he gets a crush on the one who would and could eat him for breakfast.

"I knew you were lying" The guys and I look up to see Rachel in the driving seat of her car. I have no idea what she's on about so I stare blankly at her, I think she gets the message because she adds "about having to study all day with that Brooke girl, you just didn't want to spend the whole day with Peyton did ya?" She winks at me and then she drives off. I stare blankly at the spot where Rachel's car just was. What did she mean study with Bro- oh shit, was that today…? What's today? Today is Sunday. Shit. I take my cell out my pocket and turn it on, I have 5 missed calls from Keith and its 13:05. Oh crap I'm over an hour late, Brooke will have either gone home already or is still at mine getting more pissed by the second. I jump up from my seat and run over to my truck that has Keith Scott Garage written on the side. The guys are staring at me as I get in the truck, so I wind the window down and shout out.

"I'm late, I'm really, really late" I'm not sure they know what I'm on about, but it doesn't matter and as I'm driving off I'm mentally thanking Rachel for subtly reminding me. Rachel isn't stupid she must have known I forgot and in her own way reminded me and for this I thank her.

----

I pull up at the front of the house next to a mint green convertible, what is it with girls in this town and convertibles? I think to myself as I put my keys in the door and open it. I walk inside, and the sound of laughter and cheerful voices hits my ears. Maybe she won't be so mad after all, I think hopefully. I follow the sound to our sitting room and I stand in the doorway. Keith and Brooke haven't noticed me so I spend the time just looking at the scene.

Brooke looks like a weight has been lifted off her shoulders, she seems so cheery, happy and bright, the dimples are like moon craters in her cheeks and don't seem to leave her face and her eyes are so light. She has a Lily sleeping in her arms and it looks so natural, although I'm surprised Lily hasn't woken up yet from all the noise. She's dressed nice and looks, well hotter than Rach and that's saying something.

Keith has a can of beer in his hand and his body language is relaxed and happy, although it usually is and he seems to be having an animated, fun conversation with Brooke.

And then Keith notices me and my days, well technically minutes of being a secret spy are over.

"Here he is, my son" Keith beams at me, the words don't quite hit me until a moment later.

"You mean… I'm mean you… You know?" I stutter making absolutely no sense to anyone not even myself, but Keith seems to understand.

"The adoption papers were finalised a couple days ago and came through today, Guess who's officially my son" Keith says standing up, he pulls me into a tight bear hug and I can feel tears fill my eyes, but I don't care this is amazing one of the best moments of my life. I've been waiting for this moment for so long and I know that Keith has too. We'll definitely be celebrating this tonight.

Brooke waits until we break apart and hands Lily back to Keith with a smile. She then grabs her bag and looks at me.

"We have work to do, _Someone_ was late" Her tone is icy, so much for that happy cheery laidback girl a couple of minutes ago, I'm going to have to try and get her back. We walk up to my room in silence.

----

The next few hours are spent in an echoing silence. The only noises are the odd cough, the sound of a page turning and fingers tapping away on the computer keyboard. Once in a while we talk, but only about the work and to check on what we're doing, so much for getting the cheery girl back. Its about 4 pm now and that's 3 hrs straight of work, and I'm bored.

I watch her on the floor with books spread about her sucking on a pen, it looks like she's deep in thought. Her hair is up but her bangs and some loose strands soften the look and frame her face.

"Can I help you" She says not looking up from her work. How does she do that? That's pretty damn freaky.

"I'm bored, I wana do something else… can we take a break?" I whine. I see her inwardly sigh before looking up.

"Well" she says looking at her watch and then at me, "I'm gone soon so we can either finish this now and carry on at lunch tomorrow in the library, or we just carry on now, I opt for now" she then goes back to her work. After a couple minutes she looks up at me, her eyes look annoyed

"What???" she asks throwing the pen down and looking up at me again the annoyance not only written in her eyes but visible in the tone of her voice.

"I opt for tomorrow" I reply simply, I guess she's also bored because she doesn't put up much of a fuss and actually starts to put the work away. I do the same and once she's finished she sits up on my bed, while I stay in my large leather swivel chair by my computer. I watch as she's about to stand up and grab her stuff. "Why don't we get to know eachother better, maybe become friends" I say in an effort to keep her here for a little while longer, I want to find out more about her.

She stops and seems to deliberate for a minute

"I don't need any friends" and she carries on to the door, before she leaves I speak up.

"Why is that? What makes you so special, everyone needs a friend" I tell her and she turns around and walks back to the bed, her eyes filled with so much sadness, it almost makes my heart stop and I just want to hold her and make her feel better.

"Ok, but you realise I know a lot about you already, Keith showed me the baby pictures and told me the embarrassing stories" I look at her and she kinks her eyebrow which I must admit is pretty sexy. "you know like how when you were 5 you went through a phase where you liked to dress up in your mothers clothes and walked around pretending to be woman" I groan and flush a deep red and I don't meet her eyes. She's full on laughing now while I just want to crawl into a corner and disappear. Keith did not seriously tell her that? Hadn't we made an agreement to never mention that period of my life again. "It was your punishment for being late" she tells me. Well my plans for being cool have now been thrown out the window.

She smiles at me and lies down on my bed, her eyes staring at the ceiling.

"He's a great guy your dad, your pretty lucky to have him" My dad… that sounds so good, I love the sound of it, I think I might repeat it over and over and over again later when Brookes gone.

"Yeh I'm pretty damn lucky, Keith is one of the best people I know. He's always been there for me and cared for me, he's what a dad should be. So yeh I'll admit it I'm pretty damn lucky, and I'm not going to take it for granted".

There's a long pause and then I start talking again to fill up the silence.

"You know it took them so long to get together that there was a point I didn't think they would but I kept the faith, and they did finally, and now we have Lil. Tree Hills two most successful entrepreneurs." I tell her, I'm just so proud of my mom… and Keith, despite all the setbacks they've suffered in life they never gave up and they've managed to make their lives into these big successes and they're still happy, so yeh proud son here.

"Your mom and Keith right?" It sounds like she's struggling to talk, I nod although I'm not sure if she can see me, I can't see her too well. "Yeh, Keith told me about his chain of garages and show rooms, and your mum owns like a whole chain of café's and I heard a few night clubs?" I guess her and Keith did a lot of talking, I _was_ really late.

"You know I've heard about you Brooke Davis" I tell her, changing the subject.

"I wouldn't believe any of it, and in case your worried no I don't have body lice. I don't even know how that rumour got started, but if you want me off your bed I'll understand." She sounds so sad, as she says this and looks like she's actually getting ready to get up. I didn't mean that, I didn't mean those rumours at all, and to be honest I didn't even realise she knew about them.

"No, no that's not what I meant and I don't listen to those rumours, they're malicious and obviously untrue" I pause trying to gauge what Brooke's reaction but there's nothing, total absolute silence, I don't know what to do so I carry on. "No I listen to what Haley and Nathan say about you, Haley still cares deeply about you. I know she desperately wants to talk to you again. When its just me and her she tells me about all the fun and mischief the two of you got up to, and how much she misses you. She's just not sure you want to be her friend"

"What about Peyton?" her voice is so quiet I nearly miss it.

"Well she's still hurting" I answer, and as I look over at Brooke, still lying face up on the bed, and as I look I realise she's crying. She's not making a single noise but there a definite tears falling down the sides of her face into her hair. I feel so bad, I didn't mean to make her cry and I walk over to the bed and sit on it pulling her into my arms, my chin resting on her head.

"Shhh, I'm sorry, just cry it out" I take a deep breath and, as I inhale I take in the smell emanating from the top of her hair, it smells of strawberries and is sweet.

I know its painful for the girls to talk about Brooke, that's half the reason Peyton puts on the façade of hating her and why she's so cruel it makes it easier. I didn't even think about how painful it must be for Brooke herself, and I curse myself for being such an idiot.

---

Even though she doesn't make a noise, the tears don't stop falling for a number of minutes, and even after they stop we stay in the comfortable silence. Lost in our own thoughts we don't even notice the quiet. I don't know how long we're like that but eventually I hear Brooke speaks

"You should be called Broody not Lucas, that's all you ever do, you just sit there looking all hot, serious and broody, I think I'll nickname you broody"

But I don't here the end of that sentence, did she just say I was hot? When she said it I swear my stomach did a little flip. I think I have a crush on Brooke, which makes no sense, because well, I barely know her sure I find her intriguing and beautiful and I've been enjoying hanging out with her during this project. A little voice speaks up "you liked Peyton for years and you never spoke to her, at least you've exchanged a few words with this one" you've got to love it when your conscience speaks to you, and I look down at the girl in my arms, she seems a lot happier than a few minutes ago.

"I can do happy, _Cheery_" I tell her she looks up at me

"_Cheery?_" she questions, confusion reigning over her face

"Yeh because I like it when your happy and Cheery. I like seeing your dimples. I care about you, so I'm going to put those dimples back on your face" She turns away, a faint blush on her cheeks. I look down at her and smile, I remember Haley saying she was the most ticklish person she has ever known. I know exactly what to do so I can see those dimples again.

"You know caring is creepy w-" but she doesn't finish her sentence as I start my tickle attack, then and there on her sides.

"Luke what are you-" she begins to say before she starts laughing and those delectable dimples are plastered back on her cheeks. I move to her stomach and then neck and she's laughing so hard there are tears falling down her cheeks- the good kind, the ones that show you're happy.

"Lucas- Stop-Please" She manages to choke out about 5 minutes later, and to my surprise I do. I look at her as she catches her breath, she's sitting up now looking at me, laughter playing in her eyes, and my breath catches in my throat, I don't think she's ever looked more beautiful. And I place my right hand on her cheek and I stroke it with my thumb. My heart starts to race as I look into her eyes and then to those lips, those pink kissable lips, and before I know it my lips are crashing down on top of them, the kiss deepens and for a moment there's nothing and no-one else. No secrets, no Peyton and no pain, its just the two of us and its sweet, it's beautiful; Brooke pulls away to quickly for me. She looks at me with a shocked and hurt expression.

"What the hell was that?" she doesn't sound angry she sounds how she looks hurt, confused and surprised.

"I.. it was…uhm" but I can't find the words and she's already got her bag and is at my door.

"Nathans having a party on Friday"

"_What?_" she says spinning round to face me. I don't blame her for being confused, hell even I didn't expect that to come out mouth, but now that its been said I feel like I should carry on with it, just go with the flow as they say.

"Yeh Nathan's have a party at his parents beach house on Friday, you should come it'll be great and I know Haley would love it" I stop myself from saying 'I would love it' because I actually want her to come. A funny look crosses her face, I have no idea what it means and usually I can read Brooke like a book.

"I'll think about it" she says and she leaves my room, when I hear the door close downstairs I know she's left.

I lie on my back and look at the ceiling exactly like Brooke had done a while ago. I've been working with Brooke now for a couple of weeks and am still no closer to finding out her secret, and now I think I scared her away and on top that I think she probably hates me. "Great Job Lucas" I say to myself sarcastically, its no wonder nobody ever gets me to do anything for them, if this is what happens when I try and do something its probably for the best I'm not ask for favours. Although on the bright side she might come to Nathans party, and even though she didn't say it, she looked like she missed Haley which means that she probably wants to be Haleys friend again, which means that, that relationship might slowly be rebuilt. As for my relationship with her well that now looks like it's probably dead in the water.

After a while of staring up at the ceiling, thinking, or as Brooke would say, brooding, I come to a conclusion. I reach to the stand next to my bed grab my phone and dial a number, after a few rings the person at the other end picks up.

"Peyton, we need to talk"

----

"_The hardest thing in life is to know which bridge to cross and which to burn_."

_**David Russell  
**_

_**

* * *

  
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_**A/N:**_ This chapter was a tad rushed and as a result I don't think its as good, but I still hope you guys enjoyed it and I promise the next chapter will be better! Although you probably won't get it till the end of the week because, I have work and I need to get my room ready because… well it's a busy week.

I won't as prolific with my chapter getting outness for a while because I'll be busy little bee for a while and I don't have the chapters already written. But hopefully your soo hooked you won't mind lol! Anyway enough with this little story…

What did you guys think of the chapter? Is it moving too fast?

_Thanks to everyone who reviewed the last chapter or favourited it or did a story alert, I was so happy every time I got an email saying I had a review, or people had favourited it (which is probably kinda sad and I shouldn't admit but pffft)_

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_Thank you, your reviews really made my day and wanted me to put out a new chapter._

_**Remember, review, review, review **_


	5. What a diff'rence a day makes

_**Disclaimer: **__I don't one One Tree Hill, trust me if I did it would be __**a lot**__… different_

_**a/n: **__I hope you all enjoy the chapter… have fun reading! (title name = song by Dinah Washington)_

_**Chapter 5:What a diff'rence a day makes**_

_Men kick friendship around like a football, but it doesn't seem to crack. Women treat it like glass and it goes to pieces. _

_**-Anne Morrow Lindbergh**_

--B--

There's a saying what a difference a day makes, but its never a whole day that makes a difference its just a certain moment or moments in that day where you know things will never be the same and the course of your life has changed sometimes just slightly and other times drastically. And these moments usually aren't long but boy can they change everything, they have the biggest and longest effect on you and your life whether it's positive or negative effect is up to you and how you choose to deal with it.

Life is just one long series of moments that either make or break you, sometimes you don't even realise that they have happened or that they have even had any sort of effect on your life because they're small or because at the time they seem unimportant, but if these moments remain unaddressed, if you don't take time to realise that they're going affect your life somehow then they _will_ snowball at you and your going to have to pray that you can jump out of its way, or else it will swallow you up as it gathers speed down that hill. And as I lie here in my bed I realise how I'm being pulled into that snowball. I can pinpoint all the major moments in my life the ones that made me who into the mess lying here today. My mother dying, my fathers first punch, cutting Haley and Peyton out my life, even Lucas' kiss. The problem is I don't even remember the little ones, the ones I ignored because I thought them unimportant and the ones that add up and make the difference. I haven't dealt with them, big or small and that's why my life is snowballing at me faster than I can run out of its way, and its scares me.

I start to think of earlier, being at Lucas', I hadn't meant to start crying its just it all took a toll on me. It was hard hearing how great his life is two parents that care and have so much love for him, Keith isn't even his biological father but he's been there every step of the way and has actively chosen to his father, and he's a good one at that. I have Mike Tyson wannabe as a dad who likes to go the rounds with me every other night, the pain I have on my side and upper thigh is proof of that.

Its not that I don't think Lucas deserves his happiness, lord knows he does, I'm just so envious, I've forgotten how it feels to have someone who cares, its been so long. Which brings me to Haley, if she still wants to be my friend then that means the last few years have all been for nothing. I stopped being friends with her and Peyton because I didn't want to bring them down with me, but if she still cares then that means it was all pointless, all for nothing, and I don't think I can handle that. Being friendless was always supposed to help _me,_ that was why I did it. If I was friendless then I wouldn't be judged. It was supposed to help them, they wouldn't try to help and get hurt in the process. In the end the only person being friendless has had any kind of benefit for is my father, nobody has seen or knows what he's doing and he can get away with it, and it makes me feel sick to my stomach. Its my fault, I know it maybe if I said something earlier, if I hadn't been scared, if I had chosen to do something positive with that life changing moment I wouldn't be here. But what's the point of telling anyone now? I'm almost gone just 6 more months at school and then I'm off and getting as far away as possible from here, from _him_. It's not like he has another daughter, and I know karma will get him, I need to believe that. Anyway telling someone would have only gotten him madder at me or put me in a foster home, and I don't think either options would have helped me.

My cell goes off and I look down at the caller ID, Lucas… I debate whether to pick it up or not, but I guess I wait to long and it goes on to answer phone. I see Lucas has left a message so I phone my voice message service and I listen to what he has to say.

"Heey Brooke, look about earlier… can we talk about it? Ok well either call me back or I guess I'll see you in the library at lunch" and then he hangs up. I can imagine his worried face, and his hands running through his hair, he runs his hands through his hair when he's worried or frustrated and he's probably worried he's ruined this fledgling friendship. The truth is the kiss was a real eye opener for me, I was letting Lucas in too far. I won't lie a part of me for a second was thrilled he kissed me, but an over riding part was terrified and disgusted. Terrified at the prospect that I was becoming too close to Lucas that I actually wanted this too happen and that I had even been contemplating telling him, and disgusted at me for the exact same reasons. I've been doing so well these last few yrs I can't fall down at the last hurdle. Except, and this sounds so crazy because I've only known him for nearly a month but I feel this connection with him and I can't promise myself that next time I'm alone with him and he pushes me about_ 'my secret,'_ as he puts it, that I won't break and tell him, and that's something I need to avoid.

"Argh enough brooding" I tell myself, "that's Lucas' job", I smile when I think of Lucas, "I'm supposed to be cheery" I take out a hidden bottle of vodka and a large swig as I turn on the radio which happens to be playing Eels- Fucker,

_Came home tonight  
I felt like I'd die of loneliness  
"Strange," you think  
"Popularity..."  
Looking for a simple life  
Life ain't simple  
Tired and sick but I don't wanna be alone_

_Could go to a party  
But I don't really want to  
For now I'm sitting out here on my porch  
Writing in the dark air  
Listening to  
My little black cat miaow_

_Trying to vent some of the terrible passion  
that's coursing through me  
Something about you  
Something about spending the afternoon asleep in your arms  
I hate you, fucker_

Its one of those mysteries of life how when you turn on a radio it plays a song you need to hear.

----

As I step out the car my van clad feet hit the concrete and I wince slightly, Vans aren't my ideal choice footwear but my flared jeans cover them mostly. I feel self conscious as I limp down the hallway, but I have a mission in my head and this blocks out other thoughts of people laughing at my limp. As I get in my first class of the day, I think about what I have planned, I just hope it doesn't get thrown in my face, this is a big step for me.

During my free period, I head to the sports hall, and that's where I see the person I've been looking for. I'm so nervous the butterflies in my stomach have butterflies, nonetheless I persevere, if Lucas has it right she's been hurting for years and I can't stand the idea that she could still be hurting, not when there's a chance I can make it better. Ok mission get old friend back has begun, and I walk to the bleachers and sit down next to her. I see Nathan and Lucas look at me funny and stop playing ball for a second but I ignore them and the sinking feeling in my stomach. I guess it's the moment of truth, whether theres a good chance it'll be all sunshine and roses between us eventually or whether it'll blow up in front of my like a stick of dynamite. But I have nothing lose and everything to gain by trying this.

"Hey" I whisper, either she didn't hear me or she's ignoring me, it takes every ounce of self control in me to not turn and run out the room, and even more courage to say it again. "Heey Haley" I say a bit louder, my voice raspier than usual due to nerves. She looks up from the work she's poring over and looks at me for a minute without saying a word, its almost like she didn't believe it was me sitting in front of her. Her face filled with shock and sadness, but there was no anger or pain which I take as a good sign, that and the no screaming but that can still come.

"Tigger, is that you?" Haley asks a trace of disbelief in her voice. I nod, I haven't been called tigger for about 5 yrs and it feels so good to hear my long forgotten nickname. I can see tears shimmering in her eyes, the last thing I wanted to do was to make Haley cry.

"Don't cry Haley" I say quickly, "Look, I know its been such a long time, God do I know it, it feels likes its been an eternity, but a little birdie told me that you don't hate me. I know it probably seems out of the blue and I know I don't deserve it but could I maybe get a second chance at being your friend?" My little rambled statement hangs in the air between us, and when I realise she's not going to reply, I get up. "I understand, too much has happened. I shouldn't have come, it was really crazy, as if you'd want to be my friend again" and I'm about to walk down the steps when Haley stops me.

"Why now?" It's a simple question, I'm just not sure of an answer. I guess what Lucas said about needing friends struck a chord or maybe I just want to start to slow the snowball down, its probably both. "I want to slow the snowball down" she looks at me confused, in hindsight probably not the best answer to go with. "I miss you so much and I can't carry on by myself anymore, its too lonely"

"I missed you too Tigger" She says giving me a hug and the tears that threatened to fall earlier do now and to my surprise tears also fall from my eyes. I'm glad she's accepted me as a friend, even if it means the last few yrs of self inflicted isolation were for nothing. I forgot how good it was to have a friend.

"thank you" I whisper as we sit down again. She smiles at me. "You know I thought you might make me work harder to get your friendship back" and then I put my hand in front of my mouth, my face a caricature image of horror. "That came out so wrong, I wasn't im-" Haley cuts me off.

"Who says I'm not going to make you work for it?" She tells me and I look at her slightly scared, what if she didn't actually want to be my friend? Was this one big joke, my mind racing a mile an hour.

"First off, we're going to hang out every lunch no exceptions, we have a lot to catch up on, I'll reschedule all my tutor appointments for after school and free periods." She seems to say the last part to herself, but wow she's a tutor? Haley had always liked helping others. "Oh and Nathan has a party on Friday, I want you to be there" Haley has this big smile on her face, and I realise that she needed this just as much as I did

"Ok, I get to go to a party? Fair deal" I laugh, which hides my true feelings. How was I going to get out the house with dad, and on top of that how was I going to get back in and what if he found out? Too many what if's, But I promised Haley and I'll do anything to make it up to her.

"but I can't do today's lunch, Lucas and I need to put finishing touches on an English project, but when we do hang out at lunch, can it be away from Peyton and the others?" And as ready as Haley was to take me back and be my friend Peyton won't be, and I don't like being around people who spread vicious rumours around about me.

Haley nods understanding. "Sure, just you, me, Nathan and Lucas if he wants. What do you think?"

"I think I like the idea very much" I tell her, I don't think the smile will ever leave my face. "So tutor girl, you and Nathan eh?" I say my eyes a light with joy.

"Tutor girl?" she asks confused.

"Yeh, you're a tutor and you're a girl" I reply,

"Very observant" She replies, with a laugh. I'm so glad that Haley has taken me back, maybe she's done it too readily but I don't care. Lucas says she's wanted this for such a long time, and despite everything inside me is screaming don't make friends, I can't help but feel so happy, that I couldn't really care. I've finally done something for me, and it feels great.

--L--

Lets just say today hasn't been one of my greatest. Its one of those days you wish you never even bothered to wake up, because a whole day wasted sleeping would be better than enduring this endless stream of crap. My alarm didn't go and there was heavy traffic, Peyton has been ignoring me except for when she's hurling abuse at me and on top of that Nathan isn't just beating me, he's thrashing me in this 1 on 1, I guess my hearts not in it. So all in all its been pretty crap start to the day and I have a feeling its only going to get worse. The only thing that has made me happy was seeing Brooke and Haley make up. It also seemed to make Nathan happy, probably because he knows how long Haley has wanted this.

I think today being so bad has something to do with the fact I broke up with Peyton last night, to say we broke up on mutual terms would be a straight out lie, just like saying she took it well or understood would be a misjudged comment of epic proportions, well perhaps not epic but still pretty big…

_I walk to Peytons bedroom door, she never hears the doorbell and leaves the door open so you can walk up to her bedroom freely. I knock on the door, she's sitting on her bed, when she hears the knock she looks up from the drawing she was busy making in her sketchbook. A big grin spreads on her face when she sees me, but when she sees my expression her face falls and I can't help but feel guilty._

"_What are you doing here lucas?" She asks coldly looking back at her sketch,_

"_We need to talk" I tell her._

"_What about? The fact that that whore keeps coming on to and the fact you seem to like it?" Peyton looks pissed, I knew the incident with Rachel earlier was going to come up. "You need to tell her no or she won't get the picture, girls like her don't care about whether or not the guy she's interested in is taken"_

"_About that…" I start, I'm not quite sure where this will go, but I really hope Peyton won't get to angry or upset._

"_About what?" She puts her artwork down, I have her full attention._

"_Look, I don't think this, us" I use my hand to motion between us "Its not going to work, I love you but not in the way you need to make a relationship work. Your one of my closest friends and I hope I won't lose that, because like I said I love you"_

"_Yeh you love me your just not __**in **__love with me" Her eyes flash and she looks angry. "stuff you patronising bull up your ass, I don't need you or your stupid relationship clichés" Her voice slowly rising in decibel. "What I don't understand is why your breaking up with me, we're good together, we belong! I mean you've loved me since you were 8 yrs old." She's practically screaming now with tears in her eyes._

"_Sometimes the dream is better than the reality" I tell her, this doesn't seem to go down well and now Peyton is enraged._

"_What the hell is that supposed to mean Lucas" She'd definitely screaming now, I keep a safe distance by the door. "You take ages convincing me to go out with you and you suddenly break up with me, there's something not quite right about this. Your in love with me I know you are."_

"_I was really hoping we could be friends, but I'll understand if you need sometime" I say getting ready to go._

"_Why are you doing this?" she asks softly the tears falling freely down her face, and my heart slowly breaks for her._

"_Because our feelings are less involved now than it would be in the future, it hurts less if we do this now, and I'm sure my feelings for you won't change. You're an amazing friend"_

"_That's bull" Peyton spits out. "It hurts the same if you did it now or in a year" she walks over to me by the door and I'm afraid with what she might do to me, people do crazy stuff when they're angry. "Was there anyone else?"_

"_What?" the question catches me off guard and I'm not sure I heard correctly._

"_You heard me" she says and there's an edge to her voice, its almost like she's mentally preparing herself for the answer, "did you ever cheat on me?" She asks slowly but clearly. I don't know how to answer that, tell the truth and have her hate me forever and do god knows what to Brooke, or to lie? And spare everyones feelings. Then again lies always catch up with you and the truth will out as they say. It would be much less painful if I told her now I decide._

"_I kissed someone else yes" I tell her truthfully. Before I even realise whats happened I feel a sharp sting on my cheek._

"_Thank you for making this so much easier for me" She says venomously her normal bright green eyes, darker than midnight. "We'll never be friends but I do hope you, Rachel and all your STDs lead a very happy life together"_

"_Its not Ra-" I begin but she's already pushed me out her room and has slammed the door in my face. I hear her sobbing on the other side of the door and I want to go in and comfort her but I know that that's the last thing she wants or needs right now. All I'm glad about is that Brooke didn't get dragged into this, it's the last thing she would have needed, although I doubt I would have told Peyton it was Brooke I kissed. I head back to my truck and hang my head in my hands. In one day I managed to upset and anger two girls I care deeply about, they're right being a teenager is hard._

----

"Good to have you back" Nathan calls to Brooke who smiles and gives him a small wave back, she seems a bit shy, I guess she might be worried about building up friendships she's lost, only to have them thrown back in her face or have them disappear soon. After our talk yesterday I know how big of a step this is for her and I wonder what it was that prompted her to have this change of heart. I make a note to ask her.

Nathan puts his arm round Haleys shoulder, and the three say their good bye's. I stand to the side observing the scene. Its quite heart warming, and when Haley leaves Brooke walks up to me with a slight limp.

"What happened to your leg?" I ask concerned

"Oh nothing I just fell down some stairs" She say and gives me a smile, the only smile I get out of her for the rest of the day, my eyes narrow slightly, I don't believe her but I can't come straight out with 'your lying' not when she's still not my greatest fan so I stay silent, I guess she can see I don't believe her because she quickly changes the subject.

"You ready to work?" She asks me and I nod, and we make our way to the library slowly, our progression hampered slightly by Brookes limp. When we're in the library Brooke doesn't say a single word to me, she just gets on with her work effectively ignoring my existence and I don't like it. Maybe it's a punishment for the kiss, but by the end of lunch when she still hasn't said a word despite the fact I've been incessantly trying almost the whole lunch. Its frustrating when you take one step forward and two steps backwards. She starts to pack up in preparation for the bell that signals the end of lunch, I do the same and then I run my hand through my hair and I swear I see the smallest ghost of a smile on her lips when I do this, which confuses me but I don't question it. When we're out of the library I grab her hand and pull her into the nearest classroom which thankfully happens to be empty. She pulls her wrist out of my hand and gives me a steely glare.

"What the hell was that for" She hisses at me, if she wasn't angry before she definitely is now.

"You've been ignoring me, its pretty hard to finish a project without discussing aspects of it with each other" Her face flushes and despite still looking furious but she also looks embarrassed, I carry on. "Look if its about that kiss, I'm not sorry its happened-"

Brooke interrupts me, "That kiss should never have happened" she tells me, now I'm the one with a flushed face. "But you know what you said? you were right, I need a friend I'm not special that I can make this journey through life alone. In fact the journey I'm making through life right now, well it hasn't been worth it because I have no-one to pull me up when I get down and no-one to make me feel like I matter, I hope those don't come across as selfish reasons to have friends, but it's the truth" She looks at me, I can't believe that something I said had such an effect on her, something got through and now she's making changes for the better, strangely I feel proud of myself and of her I smile at her. "We can be friends nothing more, and please promise me no more kissing"

I look at her, my face falls I don't know why she's being so closed off about it all, she didn't push me away and she wanted that kiss I know I could feel it, I know she likes me so why is she closing herself off like this. That girl has built so many walls around herself and it gives her the illusion of protection but in the long run not letting anyone in is going to do more harm than good, but right now I'm willing to be whatever she needs me to be, and if she's even willing to have friends well that's a huge leap from the past month. I'm willing to be there and to catch her when her past catches up and she no doubt falls.

"I'll be your friend" she smiles at me and those dimples make my heart flutter a little, "I promise not to kiss you… for now" I smirk at Brooke and then I leave the class. Ok this day was picking up, it was worth getting up for that moment.

----

As I head to my locker and start putting anyway unneeded books in there. Rachel bounds up to me, a smirk playing on her face, whatever she has to say to me can't be good. I know I should have told Peyton it wasn't Rachel I kissed but she hasn't given me a chance and I doubt she would have believed me anyway.

"So there's this crazy rumour going round town that you and Peyton are no more, and what's even crazier is that apparently I kissed you. When did this kiss supposedly happen? because I have no memory of it, I guess I could have been completely wasted or it could be completely imaginary" I groan, I feel bad for Rachel, Peyton must be giving her hell.

"No, I broke it off with Peyton and well I told her I kissed someone and she jumped to the conclusion that it was you and she hasn't really allowed me a chance to put the record straight, sorry" I look at Rachel I know she can see I feel guilty, its written all over my face.

"Don't sweat it big boy, its good for my reputation. Peyton threatened to throw me off the team but its an empty threat, apart from Bevin I'm the best one on that team, she basically needs me and it kills her" I look at her, I'm thankful that she doesn't make a bigger deal out of the situation and also that she doesn't ask about who I kissed but I think she knows anyway. Rachel make act it at times but she is anything but dumb.

"Oh you know what this means though?" she tells me and I shake my head. "It means you owe me one kiss, if I'm getting bitched out about something I want to have actually done it, and I'm cashing in round about now." And suddenly she pulls me towards her leaning up, wraps her hands around my neck putting her fingers through my hair, she places her lips on mine and quickly makes it deeper. I'm caught off guard, and not sure what to do, what if Brooke see's this, she'll get the wrong idea. She then pulls away her, that smirk still in place. "That little show was for Goldilocks over there, see you later"

When Rachel says goldilocks I turn and see Peyton standing dead still a little way off, if looks could kill I would have died a long slow painful death 10 times over. She's with Nathan, who seems to be trying to keep in his laughter, and Haley who looks less than impressed. Rachel walks off giving me a little wave and walks past Peyton who gives her a death glare. She finally seems to snap out of her trance and walks past me.

"Peyton, please let me-" I begin as she walks past.

"Save it" she replies as she walks in the class. Scratch what I said earlier, I should not have got out of bed this morning. Its already been a long day and lunch has only just finished. At least Brooke didn't see that kiss I think trying to look at the bright side but failing miserably. I don't even want to think how bad practise will be later. I should have turned off my alarm and gone straight back to sleep today, I walk to my next class dreading the rest of the day.

----

_Change is certain. Peace is followed by disturbances; departure of evil men by their return. Such recurrences should not constitute occasions for sadness but realities for awareness, so that one may be happy in the interim._

_**Percy Bysshe Shelley**_

_**a/n-**__ Heeey sorry I didn't update sooner, I had school work and if you saw my room you'd understand, and on top of that I couldn't get any inspiration for this chapter. Seriously I had nothing, so I had to wait before I could think about what to write for this chapter, hopefully it doesn't show! I already have the next chapter written although I'm not sure about it and the direction it might take the story in so I'll defo re-re read it, but hopefully the wait won't be as long, but I have a busy few days, I have some family coming over and then its my sisters birthday so I'll apologise now for any delays._

_Again, thank you guys for favouriting my story and doing the story alert thing, (this story is doing soo much better than I thought it would, so yay!) and of course a __**huge **__thank you to everyone who took time out to give me reviews. Without you there would be no motivation and this chapter might have taken months to get out!_

_**Psiek**_

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_**Long Live Brucas**_

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_**TeamxxBrucasxx**_

_**sunshine**_

_**dmpanda5**__._

_**s1r1-**_

_Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter, I can't wait to hear thoughts on it._

_Little spoiler for the next chapter, there will be a little Brachel. XD_

_**Good? Bad? Let me know review review review.**_


	6. The kids aren't alright

_**Disclaimer:**__ wait do i…? nooo still don't own One tree hill…_

_**A/N:**__ Name of this chapter is from a song by Offspring. And on my profile there are links to the outfits the girls are wearing, I got bored I admit it, and I don't think there's anything more fun then choosing an outfit that works._

_Enjoy the chapter people_

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_**Chapter 6: the kids aren't alright**_

_For in the end, freedom is a personal and lonely battle; and one faces down fears of today so that those of tomorrow might be engaged._

_-__**Alice Walker**_

----

I take one last look at my reflection in the mirror, my chocolate brown hair falls in curly cascade down my back and I straighten my fringe and have it to the side. I try to match my makeup to my clothes, I try to go for fifties glamour by only doing eyeliner at the top of the eyes, with a little flick, mascara and some grey eyeshadow and deep red lips, this is all finished off with light foundation and blush. With my clothes I know I'm taking a risk, I couple a pair of opaque black tights with a pair of black stretch club shorts with a light chain patterned grey low cut vest and I finish off the look with a leather jacket. I carry on scrutinizing my appearance in the mirror trying to find some non-existent flaw, eventually I give up. I know I'm taking a risk with a vest and I'm worried that I'll get to hot and have to take my jacket off but that's just not an option.

I step back from the mirror and let out a little squeal of delight, before I hurriedly put my hand over my mouth a horrified expression on my face, the last thing I want to do is wake up the beast. I keep absolutely silent for what feels like forever before I determine that _it_, is still asleep. I can't help but feel excited though, this is my first and probably only high school party, and I can't wait, I want to look good- no scratch that I want to look amazing and I want this party to be amazing. Tonight I'm going to pretend to be a normal teenager, I'm going to get to do what normal teens do, what I've missed out on these last few years. I have no past and no future I just have the here and now and I'm going to make tonight count.

I grab my shoes, the heels would only make a noise on the marble floors and i need to avoid making noise at all costs. I take one last fleeting look in the mirror before I turn off the light and get plunged into darkness. I shut my door gently and lightly walk down the corridor and stairs using the light from my cell and open windows to guide me to the front door which I gently ease open with out a noise and close with a tiny click. I'm impressed with myself, those are heavy doors and I didn't wake him up. I put my shoes on, get my car keys out and I walk down on to the street, having parked down the road earlier in preparation for now.

----

When I arrive at the beach house the party is already in full swing, I told Haley I would be late not giving a reason except saying "I won't be able to be there before 11" which she reassured me would be fine. As I walk up to the doors to get in I look at all the groups of people around, some making out, some talking and some already vomiting- I guess they partied a bit too hard too soon.

It's as I'm standing in front of the door I realise how stupid it was for me to come here. Half the people here are still spreading rumours and the other half still believes them, not to mention I risk incurring the wrath of my father for what? I night where I just do some dancing and drink a little? I'll wait for college to do that. Naley are the only ones who wants me here, well Lucas did ask too but he probably did that because he wanted to get out of an awkward situation and even though he says he's my friend I don't see why he would want to be really, but I digress. No I'm not going to go in such a potentially hostile and volatile environment but as I turn to leave, to go home and crawl under my covers whilst cursing myself for being a wimp the little devil on my shoulder speaks up 'Why should I go home now? Naley wants me there and its Nathans party his house. I didn't take so long getting ready, and risk so much to wuss out and go home before I even got in the party now did I?' Argh now I'm stuck, it's like that song, "should I stay or should I go?" I'm so frustrated 'stay or go' is repeating in my head and I have no idea which to choose.

"Leaving so soon?" I turn back to the door and face Lucas who has an irritating smirk on his face, the same as Nathans. I haven't really spoken to Lucas since the beginning of the week when he pulled me in the classroom, while I like being in his company I don't trust myself around him and it scares me so I tried to avoid being around him too much this past week.

"erm.. well I... well you see" I slightly stutter and wave my hands around which I know makes me look crazy and I can see the laughter in his eyes. "whatever Broody" I mumble and turn to leave.

"Come on Hales is inside, she's been waiting for you for a while but don't tell her I told you" and he grabs my hand I know to stop me from leaving, but I can't help feel a little jolt of electricity when he touches me, I guess my crush is still there. I smile 5 minutes later when he's still holding my wrist I know its so he can guide me to Haley without losing me in the throng of people, but I pretend to myself its because he doesn't want to let go. I successfully ignore the people around me who I know are probably staring at me wondering what I'm doing here, and then that sick feeling in the pit of my stomach returns, which makes me realise I'm not actually doing the blocking out so well. I have never wanted to be so invisible in my life than at this exact moment but it's too late to do anything.

"Broooooke" I hear someone call and as such am caught off guard by the person who barrels at me and envelops me in a hug. I realise it was Haley who both called my name and who is giving me the hug. I'm disappointed that Lucas lets go of my hand but its means that I can hug Haley freely so that's what I do. Haley lets go and steps backward.

"Wow you look bitchin tutor girl" I say looking at her appearance. She has her hair down in waves around her neck, and is in a low cut blue dress, and an incredible pair of black kurt Geiger platforms.

"Me? How about you? You look hot tigger… Is there anyone here you want to impress?" she asks with a wink and laughs when I blush and shake my head. "come on lets get you a drink" and she drags me off to the side where the drinks are kept, and it's the first time that I've been here and I actually feel good about coming, what did I say earlier? Something about for now, for me there are no yesterdays and no tomorrows just the here and now. Haley hands me a drink which I start to drink.

"Heey Hales who's the Ho your hanging with?" I turn to look at the speaker a red haired girl, I recognise her as the new girl, well not so new anymore. But still she has no reason to call me a ho, I'm about to speak when Haley does effectively cutting me off

"This is Brooke, Rachel. Brooke don't mind her she's rude to everyone" Haley explains in an exasperated tone with a small sigh.

"Bitch" I say back smiling, I think she's the sort to throw out mean words as greetings.

"Slut" Rachel replies also with a smile, "I like her" she says turning to Haley

"and I'm sure Brooke feels very honoured about that" Haley replies rolling her eyes.

"Careful Haley if you carry on like that people might think you like me," Rachel retorts. Now I get why people say you can see a lightbulb go off in someones head, because it happens now as Rachel turns round and faces me "Brooke? Like as in Brooke the Brooke that people have mentioned a lot since I got here? Hmmm you're hotter than I thought you would be. You know I do admire your work" she tells me, I don't quite know what that means or whether that's actually a compliment.

"Erm thanks I think…what do you mean?" I ask confused," She doesn't look very academic, she has her ruby red straight hair down and is in a revealing silk scarf dress and impossibly high heels, but looks are deceiving so I could be completely wrong and she could be really into my school work although just thinking that makes it seem pretty implausible.

"Well, everything with Lucas." She winks at me and adds "Don't worry I won't tell anyone" Haley looks at me and I'm horrified, I plaster a confused look on my face.

"I don't know what your talking about" I tell her, "Lucas and I are friends maybe that's what your on about?" She shakes her head,

"Well, I admire you, I don't get under Peytons skin half as much as you do and I _try_. Maybe you'll let me in on your secret" She laughs, but before she carries on Nathan and appears and gives Haley a long kiss.

"Heey Brooke, glad you came" Nathan says giving me a big hug.

"Wouldn't have missed it for the world" I lie giving him a big grin.

----

Ha, all that worrying I did earlier was for nothing, I'm having so much fun just sitting back relaxing, and even if this is the only carefree night, then I can remember it as the most beautiful, fun and normal evening of my teen years and nothing could ever detract from that.

I'm sitting here with Haley, Rachel, Lucas and Jake, who's also on the basketball team, and who seems pretty cool. Nathan was with our group earlier, but it's a busy job being the host and he had to go and save certain ornaments. By now it's either really late or really early depending on your view and everyone's starting to unwind. I had fun dancing with Jake, Nathan and the girls earlier avoiding dancing with Lucas, but now we're just talking and looking at the slowly emptying house and I get slightly depressed realising that the party is almost over and I'm going to have to go home. I place my head on Haleys shoulder. And she's having some sort of argument with Lucas and Jake about music, Rachel being too busy on her phone to take notice or care. Despite earlier, I think I might really like her if I get to know her better, although she is pretty direct and doesn't hold back, she seems like good fun and god knows I need some fun.

"What are they doing here?" A very slurred and angry voice asks. I lift my eyes up and look to see a Peyton glaring at our group, well just Lucas, Rachel and me. I thought she was good friends with Lucas I wonder what happened there? And isn't she on the cheerleading team with Rachel? Even though I don't want to admit it, Peyton looks amazing she has the whole rock chick down with a pair of skinny jeans and long white top with the face of a leopard in the middle and spots all around.

"They were invited" Haley replies casually,

"By who? They should have known not to come" Peyton glowers at us

"Brooke and Lucas were invited by Nathan and I, Rachel is on the team of course she'd come" Haley looks at Peyton "its not your party its Nathans and he can invite who he wants"

Peyton looks at me, and she gets up close to me so her face is inches away from my face, the stench of alcohol emanating off her is almost overbearing, and when she opens her mouth and I gag slightly.

"Nathan and hell even Haley may be idiots but I'm not, you're a parasite, and a leach on the people I care about. I hate you. You're a sorry excuse for a person" She hisses. I'll admit it that cut deep, that really hurt probably more than my all my dads attacks, and I'm ashamed to say I feel tears springing into my eyes.

"That's enough Peyton" Haley and Lucas say at the same time and Jake pulls her away from me, but she doesn't seem to be done, as she now rounds on Rachel who puts her phone away.

"So what does it feel like to be the biggest whore in Tree hill, you know Lucas is only using you for sex, I mean that's all your good for, that's all you could offer a relationship. You know if I'm perfectly honest I'm surprised your fat ass hasn't eaten him yet" Her slurred voice still sounds pretty vicious and boy was I was right when I said she didn't like Rachel, but Rachel just laughs at this, it doesn't even faze her.

"How does it feel like to be the biggest bitch in Tree Hill? Oh and look who's ass is talking, how many cheeseburgers have you eaten this week? It showing" Rachel retorts, standing up she looks down at Peyton, her pink sky heels giving her a slight edge. Scorn in her eyes, she carries on "I bet it kills you to know that you weren't enough for him, that he had to look elsewhere for what you couldn't give him. You must have really sucked as a girlfriend, hell I could have done better and all I offer a relationship is sex" Rachel and Lucas? Lucas and Peyton? Not only does my heart sink but my head is spinning. Peytons face goes red and her features flash dangerously. She pulls Rachels hair hard causing Rachel to yelp at the unexpected attack, and then Peyton throws her beer in Rachels face.

"You 3 year old bitch" Rachel says pushing her hard against the wall where Peyton hits her head and back. Peyton then launches herself at Rachel grabbing her round the waist and knocking her onto the ground, and suddenly its like World War 3 has erupted. I get up and walk towards the back door. Nathan and Lucas seem to be trying to separate the two by grabbing Rachel and Jake grabs Peyton. However that doesn't last long and I leave the room just as the two girls launch at eachother again.

---

As I get outside I take off my shoes and walk down the boardwalk and onto the sand, I carry on walking for a little while before I decide to sit down on the sand. As I'm sitting on the sand I pick up sand and pour it over my feet which are encased in my tights, I do this for a short period of time. I do it because I don't have to think; I just focus on grabbing those tiny grains and before too many have slipped through the gaps in my fingers I pour it over my feet making a little mound before shaking it off and starting the whole process again. Eventually I get bored and look out at the sea, its crashing waves are unrelenting and cruel yet by the light the silvery moon is casting on it I've never seen a more beautiful sight.

The beach used to be my haven, when my mother first got sick this is where I came to think and to just get away from it all. The same when my dad first started hurting me I sought solace on the beach, and now I want to escape what Peyton said. Physical pain is nothing compared to its mental counterpart. A part of me had hoped Peyton might eventual forgive me like Haley and be my friend, but that little part of me has now been extinguished and I feel sorry about it, but if she feels like that and that strongly then maybe its for the best. Anyway Rachel in her own strange way seemed nice enough and Jake, and despite Peyton and her interruption I've had the best evening of my life. I was being a teenager, a normal teenager and I had fun, nothing else in my life mattered tonight except that.

I look at the sea, at the water lapping up on the sand and I smile. Its been years since I last went swimming in the sea, it used to be my favourite activity and I had hoped to become a lifeguard as a spare job like in Baywatch, but I don't exactly have a body you would want to show off in swimsuit let alone a bikini. My mum liked the beach, she used to take me as a little girl and I remember once when I was about 11 just before she got sick she was talking about skinny dipping, I had to ask her what it was, and it was the funniest thing ever the way she explained it, then at her funeral I had sworn I was going to do it one day because it was one of the happiest memories I had. I'm so deep in thought I didn't even realise someone had sat down next to me until they spoke.

--L--

We finally manage to keep Peyton and Rachel apart, Nathan than picks up Peyton and throws her, struggling, over his shoulder. Haley walks behind them with a very dark look on her face. I think Peyton will be getting more than a hangover tomorrow. Jake takes Rachel outside to cool help her cool down, she's pissed and it takes him a lot to convince her not to go after Peyton.

I know I should've told Peyton the truth, but she seemed so convinced it was Rachel I kissed and Rachel said not to. Stating that Peyton didn't need more ammo against Brooke, which seemed out of character for Rachel, before adding it was good for her own reputation which sounded more like Rachel.

Now that Jake, Nathan and Haley have left to take care of Rachel and Peyton respectively, I realise I'm all alone, Skillz left with Bevin a while ago and Tim, well Tim is making an idiot of himself by a group of girls. I look around for Brooke but she seems to have disappeared too.

In the end I decide to go outside, I can't go too far as I promised Nathan I would stay and look after the house while he was gone. I go out side because sometimes I just like to look out at the sea. Just seeing how vast, encompassing and unforgiving the sea is helps me to put things in perspective, it helps me to think clearly.

---

I get out and walk down the steps on to the board walk and from there I'm on the sand, I look in front of me and I see someone in the distance. As I walk closer I realise its Brooke and I go and sit down next to her. She looks deep in thought, and she says _I'm _the broody one

"What are you thinking about cheery?" She turns and looks at me, and flashes me that million dollar smile. She looks stunning tonight and I've never been more attracted to a person, I can't find the words to describe how beautiful I find her, just that from the moment I first saw her at the door looking confused I haven't been able to take my eyes off her. She's slowly filling up all my senses and all my thoughts so all I can feel and think is her and its surprising because I've only really gotten to know her this past month. I'm surprised anyone can have this sort of effect on a person, let alone me.

"Oh nothing… so you and Rachel huh?" She says to me, I think I hear a hint of disappointment in her voice "Or should I say you and Peyton?"

"Peyton and I broke up and she seems to think there's something going on between Rachel and me, because well Rachel has come on to me a few times, but there is nothing going on there and seriously nothing ever will" I reply, hoping she'll believe me.

"your honestly saying you would never do anything with Rachel? Some how I find that hard to believe" I look at her eyes and she keeps the gaze unblinking, her raspy voice desperately trying to hide how hopeful she is. My eyes slowly travel down her face and rest on her lips, I promised her that I wouldn't kiss her again but right now all I can think about is kissing her. Those lips look soo damn inviting. After a couple minutes of being locked in that position, Brooke looking at me, me looking at Brooke, well her lips anyway, she turns away and looks at the sea.

So I look at the sea too, its so dark yet the light of the moon and stars bounce of the waves and it sparkles like the brightest diamond. She seems transfixed by the sight.

"Have you ever been skinny dipping?" She asks, that takes me by surprise.

"Erm.. no…" I reply confused. "Have you?"

"No, but I always wanted to" She replies, and then she stands up that big grin in place. "I don't think after tonight I'll have the opportunity again. You know what they say life is short, you only live once, you should live life to the full etcetera etcetera"

And before I know it she's by the waters edge, taking her clothes off. I don't have to be told twice and I head down to the waters edge pulling my hoodie over my head. Its hard to see in the dark but I find her pile of clothes and put mine next to hers before I go to join Brooke in the water.

The water is freezing and I seriously deliberate as to whether or not getting hypothermia is actually a good idea. But I see Brooke's silhouette swimming in the distance and I know that I should join her. How many times in life do you get an experience like this? And its not like there's anyone around who can see me, so I tentatively step in and before I know it I've swam up to Brooke.

She's laughing as she splashes water at me, the salt water stings my face and I retaliate the same way and Brooke turns her head and laughs as the water hits the side of her neck. I don't know how long we're out there in the water, but I do know that this will go down in memory as one of the most amazing nights of my life, and if I never have another night like this, then I think that it'll be ok with me. I've never seen Brooke look so happy and free, free of worries, free of cares and free of whatever it is that's been keeping her down these last few years.

Eventually Brooke swims back to the shore, I watch her as she slowly becomes a silhouette. When I eventually swim back to land Brooke's nowhere to be see, I hurriedly pull my jeans and wifebeater on and walk up to land as I pull my hoodie back on. The house is now completely deserted, except for a few sleeping bodies on the floor in the living room. I walk to the kitchen and see Brooke standing there shivering, her wet vest clinging to her chest and stomach outlining her body's curves and her leather jacket looks like its uncomfortable. She's making two glasses of hot chocolate. Her make-up has disappeared and her hair, her slightly dishevelled wet hair falls to her shoulder, the hot made up girl from earlier is long gone, instead she's all natural and she's never looked more beautiful.

"Your cold" I state, and I take off my hoodie and pass it to her she smiles and takes it in her arms her eyes lingering on my chest for more than a minute making me smirk, but then she shakes her head as if she's banishing her thoughts and starts to talk.

"So there's this rumour that there's a big wide screen television in the spare room. Wanna check it out?" She asks, I nod in affirmative and she laughs, "good, you finish up here and meet me there" she says practically skipping out the kitchen. I laugh happily to myself and I pick up the two steaming hot glasses of coco a few moments later and head up the stairs.

---

I open the door and I see that Brooke's sitting on the bed, her legs tucked in the hoodie which she's put on and her arms wrapped around them the remote in the one hand. She's flicking through the channels at break neck speed I'm surprised she can even see what's being shown. She looks up at me and settles on MTV. I hand her a glass of hot chocolate which she takes gratefully holding it by her chin just underneath her lips, in both her hands, she blows on it softly to cool it down.

"What do you think of watching some really bad reality tv?" she asks. Looking up at me from her mug

"Do I have a choice" I retort and she raises her eyebrow at me as I sit down next to her.

"What don't you want to see Flavor Flav find love?" She asks me, turning her whole body round so she's facing me, I turn to face her better, the television left forgotten in the background.

"I'd rather watch a Nathan and Haley steamy make out session and that's saying something" I tell her.

"Naley" she says simply, I think I must have missed something because what the hell is a Naley? She seems to sense my confusion as she clarifies. "that's Nathan and Haleys couple name, that's what you'll refer to them as" I laugh ok Naley it is I can't wait to see their reaction to their new 'couple' name.

"What would our couple name be" I ask jokingly, she seems to think for a little while.

"Brucas" hmmm Brucas isn't that bad I think to myself, "and you and Peyton would be Pucas" I let out a bark of laughter.

"Pucas? I think that's a sign" I tell her and she joins in on the laughing for a while.

"Do you think Peyton meant what she said earlier?" Damn I knew that would eventually come, but asking now was a bit abrupt and I wasn't expecting it. The atmosphere in the room shifts, its no longer light hearted, but serious.

"No, she was drunk wasn't thinking about what she was saying" I reply, I know Peyton is going to feel guilty in the morning and if she doesn't I know Haley will make sure she does.

"I heard that that was when you were at your most honest because you don't hold back, you lose your inhibitions and you say what you think because you don't think of the consequences" she says looking downcast before taking a sip from her mug. Wow there's no getting round this.

"I know she doesn't mean it, when she spoke about you, sure sometimes she was less than complimentary but there was always this love in her voice, you could always tell that she loved you. Maybe that's why it's so hard for her you know"

She gives me the saddest smile I've ever seen "thank you… for trying to make me feel better." She whispers to me.

"I thought I was the broody one" I tell her and she laughs.

"How's Keith, Lily and your mom" she asks changing the topic.

"Yeh pretty great, business is going well apparently and Lily is getting bigger by the day and has both Keith and I wrapped around her little finger, and Keith and my mom are so happy its sickening" I tell her

"You love it really" She replies,

"I do if, I ever found someone that made me half as happy as they are, I would hold that person and never let them go" I tell her,

"I hope you find that, you deserve it" the sincerity in her voice takes me back a little, I look at her for a while before I reply.

"I think everyone deserves to find that person that makes them happy beyond any kind of reason, you know that heart stopping almost unbearable intense kind of love. I can't imagine anything more sweet or amazing to experience in this life. Theres nothing more beautiful, from what I've witnessed than to love and to be loved" I tell her, I draw from my own experiences of Naley and of my mom and Keith. She looks at me and doesn't say a word, but I can see from the conflicting emotions on her face that she wants to believe me but theres something that's stopping, that's made her cynical.

After about 5 minutes of silence I decide to speak. "Hows your father? I ask. Whatever it is that Brooke is keeping secret, I think it has to do with her father, the way she talks about him and won't let anyone to her house, and they way she completely changed after he mother died. My suspicions are confirmed when I see how she reacts to the question, Her whole body stiffens her demeanour changes to almost self conscious and her eyes grow cold.

"As far as I know he's ok" she answers coolly

"What do you want from life?" I ask this because Brooke is one walking contradiction, and she always puts on a façade so you never know what she's really feeling, and she keeps everything to herself. She knows all there is to know about me, she knows I dream of being a writer and doing college basketball and how I hope to go to New York to college, I told her pretty much all my dreams and ambitions when we did our project together but she always held back telling me anything, and she's starting to open up to me tonight so I'm going to push it as far as I can. There is so much hurt there and I need to get through so I can help.

"Hmm, I guess it depends what you mean. I want to be a fashion designer, so I want to either go to fashion school in New York or London, depends which one I get into, to start my own fashion label. But what I want more than anything is to leave this place, I would have done it already if it weren't for several factors, but the minute I get my inheritance I doubt I'll speak to my father ever again and there'll be no reason to come back."

"What do you mean inheritance? Don't you have any happy memories? And why would you want to leave your father so much?" I know I'm asking to many questions, but like I said I'm going to push, no holding back, that'll get me nowhere and what if she doesn't open up like this again? I've been given an opportunity I'm going to exploit it to its upmost.

"Sure I have some happy memories, but they're so old and faded I sometimes think I made them up, all I have now and all I associate Tree Hill with is pain and sorrow. When I have to go out of town and I comeback and see the sign, _'Welcome to Tree Hill'_ all I want to do is turn the other way and get away from the hurt." She puts her head on her knees looking straight ahead, avoiding eye contact with me.

"Why?" I ask simply, but she's no longer in a sharing mood and the question lingers in the air for several minutes, shouting in the silence for an answer before falling in the vast chasm between us.

After several more minutes of silence where Brooke looks straight at the wall and I look straight at her, I finally speak up "Why won't you tell me what's wrong, I know there's something wrong with you. There's this big secret your hiding and have been hiding for years, its ruined your relationships. I've seen it I saw how you changed pretty much overnight and never recovered. I've been watching you all these years and that secret your hiding, its slowly eating away at you, its destroying who you are, don't let it destroy who you can be. Is it worth ruining your life over something that can be changed if you let someone in to change it"

There seems to be tears forming in her eyes as I say this, and I don't mean to make her upset it just kills me that she seems so lost in the wilderness of life especially when they are people around her desperately trying to help her find her way.

What she does next surprises me, she lifts her head and crawls to me and kneeling in front of me she puts her hands on my face and pulls me in for a kiss. It's slow and deep and its filled with sorrow and regret, I feel my cheeks get a wet and I realise that Brookes crying.

I pull away from her, and she looks at me through her wet eyelashes "thank you" she whispers to me so softly that for a moment I believe I must have imagined it.

"what for?" I ask confused

"for caring" she replies and I look at her, I suddenly realise how these years of solitude have taken its toll on the once social butterfly. She looks so lonely and lost yet grateful at the same time.

"People care, you just need to open your eyes to it" I sigh before I begin again, "I just wish you'd trust me with whatever it is your going through, I can help" and even though I know I'm starting to sound like a cracked record I needed to state it again, for the last time.

She looks down into her lap, the sound issuing from the television taking over the ensuing silence, and its in that time I fear that Brooke may completely disappear behind those walls she has built up to try and mentally keep herself protected.

"You can't help me" she doesn't look up at me when she says this. I put my thumb under chin and gently tip up her face so she's looking at me.

"I can't help because you won't let me. Just let me in." but instead of replying she kisses me again, its sweet but urgent. I wish she'd let me help her but maybe for her this _is_ letting me in, and for now I'll take what I can.

----

_All human actions have one or more of these seven causes: chance, nature, compulsion, habit, reason, passion, and desire. _

_**-Aristotle**_

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_**A/N:**__ So that's the end of this chapter folks, I hope you enjoyed it and come back for the following instalment, which will come out sometime this week. I quite like this chapter (although theres a lot of talking) and had fun writing it. I hope you enjoyed reading it as much if not more! I know Peyton was pretty awful in this chapter but things have to get worse before they get better._

_Anyway more importantly what were your thoughts on the chapter? And what do you think should/will happen next? (I have some ideas but I'd be really interested to hear what you guys think should happen). I really love hearing what you guys have to say (its my first story so its all new to me)_

_Finally I'd really love to thank the people who favourited this story/ made it a favourite. And of course would thank you to all my reviewee's you guys are soo awesome!_

_**Long Live BRUCAS**_

_**BDavisLScott23**_

_**VN200**_

_**sunshine**_

_**brulian equals forbidden love**_

_**-SlumdogDelaware**_

_**TeamxxBrucasxx**_

_**Plasticlittlespastic**_

_**dmpanda5**_

_**brucas82forever**_

_**broodygirl7882**_

_**s1r1**_

_**Remember to review, review, review.**_


	7. someday you will be loved

_**Disclaimer:**__ Don't own it (one tree hill) just playing with it._

_**a/n: **__Enjoy the chapter people. (title from the song by death cab for cutie- someday you will be loved) (I know its not an incredibly fun story and this isn't a happy chapter, but I hope you'll stick with it) _

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_**Chapter 7:**__** Someday you will be loved**_

_"We call that person who has lost his father, an orphan; and a widower that man who has lost his wife. But that man who has known the immense unhappiness of losing a friend, by what name do we call him? Here every language is silent and holds its peace in impotence." _

_**-Joseph Roux**_

----

There's a loud knock on the door, I give my father a quick scared look but he's just reading his newspaper a beer in his hand. He's obviously got a problem if he's started drinking at 10 in the morning but I've never told him to get help, I want to see tomorrow. That knock comes again but this time its joined with a ring. I'm dreading opening the door, I have a bad feeling that its Lucas and I can't deal with that, I let him in way too far and I have a bad feeling he won't stop pushing now and I can't deal with that. I need him to leave me alone, even though its not what I want its what I need. The person knocks again and my dad glares at me

"Are you going to get that?" He asks his voice plainly showing his annoyance, I nod quickly in reply and grab my big thick grey cardigan that's hanging on the back of the sofa and put it on as I walk to the door. I swing the door open and the person on the other side takes me completely by surprise. This was the last person I expected to see especially after last night. I must look astonished because they say

"Hello Brooke surprised to see me huh? Hello Mr Davies" Peyton calls over my shoulder to my father giving him a little wave.

"Nice to see you Peyton, its been a long time" My father replies politely. She then turns her attention to me while I look at her with those blonde glossy curls that look like gold shimmering in the sun, she's also looked like the picture or innocence except for now, where she looks like she has a bruised cheek and the beginnings of a black eye but I can't see as her eyes are hidden under big black shades protecting her both from ridicule and from her hangover. I wrap my cardigan tighter round myself and I close the door behind me.

"I'm really, really sorry about last night" She tells me but I can't tell if she's being sincere or if Haley has forced her to do this so I carry on staring, which seems to put her off slightly. "its just… uhm last night was a wake up call for me. I'm so sorry for what I said and I wish I could take it back but its like lyrics on a record, once you put them out there you can't take 'em back" Peyton mumbles, I think she is being sincere but it's a pretty crap apology. Maybe after all these years she's forgotten how to interact with me…

"Erm ok, is that it?" I know it's a bit abrupt, I can see Peytons eyes grow sadder but I can't help it, I need to get inside. Anyway she made her feelings pretty clear last night… "Look what you said last night, it really hurt and I didn't deserve it" I tell her, for the first time ever sticking up for myself and I turn to open the door, Peytons voice stopping me.

"Do you know why Haley and I became cheerleaders? I mean you know Haley, and well look at me, we don't exactly scream cheerleader do we? How many rock chicks and the tutor cheerleaders are there?" She tells me, the question is pretty random I think to myself, it and thw whole Peyton showing up at my door after years of no talking has caught me off guard. Whats more is I actually feel my heart sink when she doesn't say that I know her, that was a long time ago I guess.

"Why?" I ask her, curiosity getting the better of me,

"Because of you. Even though you had stopped talking to us three years before Haley and I remembered how much you went on about wanting to be a cheerleader at high school" She takes a brief pause before carrying on "Remember that summer before your mum died when you'd force us to learn some new cheer you made up and then made us use those cheers to cheer Nathan and Tim's one on one games? We actually auditioned for the team using a Brooke original cheer. We only joined because we hoped you would join and we'd get back to how it was. I was so sure you'd be there." She says the last sentence quietly and it holds so much pain my heart breaks slightly. There are tears in her eyes and she's leaning on the doorpost for support, both emotional and physical.

I remember that summer clearly, forcing Haley and Peyton to learn cheers I'd made up after Nathan forced me to watch basketball games with him. I only agreed to watch because I thought the cheerleaders were so beautiful and happy and I thought that it looked like so much fun, that summer was one of the best of my life. I feel tears pricking my eyes, and I wait for Peyton to gather her thoughts and self so she can continue. "Every year when we hold auditions I expect you to walk through those doors and show everyone how its done like that summer. I don't hate you Brooke, I never have. It just crushed me that you didn't want to be my friend and being mean to you made everything so much easier but I wasn't dealing. So I'm here now asking for you to forgive me for how I treated you and for what I said. I can't change what I've done but I can try to put it right. So…" And she stands looking at me through those dark glasses which I can't see through, but her voice is sincere and her cheeks are all red and blotchy.

Forget what I said earlier about the apology not being very good, its amazing. I didn't realise she still cared and I'm glad she does. I feel like I'm getting a semblance of my old life back, and Peyton was one of the most important parts of that old life. I've been running for so long but I don't know what from. My dad? My self? My life? All of the above? All I do know is that in the process I made the biggest circle.

I don't say any words instead I pull Peyton into a big hug, and I feel Peyton finally let go, of her emotions and of all the pain she's had bottled up inside her for the last 5 years. As I feel my neck and shoulder get wet from her tears I think about how this was exactly what I didn't want. I stopped being friends with Haley and Peyton to save them from pain not to cause it and yet that's all I seem to have done. The physical pain I can take but knowing I've caused someone mental pain? I can't take that. I stopped being their friends to make sure that didn't happen, I knew how upset they would be knowing and not being able to do anything, but that turned out to be a spectacular fail because look at us now, Peyton crying for all those lost years. I'm just looking at the futility of it all, we're back at the same place we were 5 years ago, there was no point in it at all, like I said the biggest fucking circle ever.

"I'm sorry" I whisper in her bed of curls, "If I'd have known… I was dealing, I'm still dealing with so much crap. But at 17 I'm a bit more capable to deal with it at 12" I tell her, she pulls out of our embrace. Her river of tears seems to have stopped, her cheeks red and blotchy.

"I wish you could realise how much Haley and me wanted to help we would have done anything for you" She says to me, I don't reply I know they would have done anything and everything to help but there are some things in life you just can't help with, and at 12 your even less equipped to deal with the hardships that life throws at you than at 17. I wish I could tell her I was protecting her, but my mouth stays firmly shut. I'm standing in front of the door which is closed behind me, Peyton is standing in front of me her left arm rubbing her folded right arm and she looks at the ground. "I don't think I could be like Nathan and Haley and become friends with you straight away but we could work at it and hey no more bitching." She informs me adding a smile and looking up for the last part of the sentence. I understand so I'm not deeply disappointed and working at it is better than nothing. And hey I'm also surprised Haley forgave me so quick, but she's a very special person, so is Nathan for that matter. I nod in understanding.

"See you at school on Monday" She says before she walks down my driveway to her car and away from me. I lean my head and back against the door and sink to my knees while sighing deeply. Today is going to be emotionally draining I can feel it and I don't think I'm capable of dealing with it with only about 3 hours of sleep under my belt. I finally push myself off the door, open it and walk inside.

"What was that about?" Dad asks looking up from the newspaper when I re-enter the house, his voice masking any real feelings and his face expressionless.

I shrug my shoulders "Nothing important" I say taking my seat on the sofa again and pulling my work into my lap. I'm secretly pleased that Peyton came to visit and that we're heading down a rocky road back to friendship, it'll probably take a long time because there is a lot of hurt on both sides, but at least we're setting off down that road, but I'm hardly going to tell daddy dearest that so I pretend its nothing and hope he doesn't ask anything else.

----

It's about four in the afternoon when the doorbell rings again. My dad looks over from his laptop his beady little eyes fixed on me his expression pretty much says 'when did you get so popular' and well I'm thinking it too. In the past few years I've never had a single person over and now in one day I have two visitors. I don't think this is making him all that happy and he's probably curious as to what has happened that has warranted these visits. I just hope he doesn't find out about the party.

The doorbell goes and I'm pulled out of my reverie, grabbing my cardigan again with a sense of déjà vu I go to the door and look through the peep hole and see blonde hair. Why is Peyton back? Didn't we talk it all out before? Ergh I'm so not in the mood for an emotional showdown again, I think as I pull the door open not really looking at the person on the otherside of the threshold.

"Peyton I thought we got everything off our-" I start but then I see who it is actually standing there and I stop myself, this is the last thing I need especially with my dad in the other room. I walk out and gently shut the door behind me so my dad can't hear what's going on.

"Brooke…"

"What Lucas?" I reply a bit snappy and I can see hurt in his eyes, I know that I'm probably going to hurt his feelings but I can't have him snooping around. I have no idea what happened last that made me let go like that and let him in a little but it can't happen again. He knows more about me than I want anyone to know and I feel very uncomfortable. I knew I couldn't trust myself around him and yet I didn't leave when he approached me on the beach. 'Oh god the beach' I think and start to blush.

"I wanted to talk about last night" He begins to tell me, this is what I was worried about, I fold my arms across my chest and I have a very annoyed expression on my face.

"You shouldn't have kissed me" I tell him, deliberately misunderstanding what he was talking about hoping that he might get the hint that I don't want to talk about last night- well technically this morning...

"You kissed me" Lucas reminds me, his tone a biting, annoyance lacing his bright eyes, this is definitely not what he wants to be talking about, but I want to hold off talking about what I said perhaps forever, so Lucas better be prepared to be annoyed.

"Well you should have known better not to kiss me, you promised me" I lean my back against the door staring straight up at his blue eyes, he's standing straight on the steps his eyes unblinking. Personally I don't regret kissing Lucas in fact I would do it again given half the chance, but I do regret talking to him.

"I didn't kiss myself, you initiated both those kisses" Lucas says leaning against a pillar that came down from the brick front of the house, he then adds "and you know what that's not even why I came here. I want to talk about last night, can I come in?"

Why doesn't he get I don't want to talk about it? And why would he think it would be ok to come in if he, during our whole time working on the English project, was never allowed to come round to mine. What is he automatically granted access because he turned up?

"No" I reply simply, he looks like he doesn't understand or perhaps he didn't hear? Although I'm sure I said it pretty loudly. I fold my arms across my chest, a symbol of defiance, and to block myself off from him.

"To what? Coming in or talking about last night?" He says questioningly looking at me expectantly for an answer, his bright blue eyes from earlier slowly turning very dark, I guess this mini confrontation wasn't what he had in mind when he woke up this morning.

"To both" I reply, my answer is short and sweet, but I realise that Lucas needs a bit more, he deserves a bit more. "Look last night was a mistake and its not happening again" I say slowly looking down at my bare feet pulling my cardigan tighter around myself,

"Why are you pushing me away, I want to help" Lucas asks his tone almost begging, I feel bad I really do but I can't do this, I can't. I carry on looking down at my feet as I say what I have to say next.

"I don't need your help; I don't need anyone's help." I tell him, I can feel his eyes bearing down on me so I refuse to look up and into those eyes. "I'm perfectly happy and in a good place in my life." I lie, maybe if I looked up at him I wouldn't be able to say that, so it's a good thing I'm looking at feet and the oh so pretty stone floor.

"Don't lie to me, I know your lying after everything last night I know your lying." He tells me his tone filled with frustration yet spoken in such a gentle manner that I want to have him hold me while I tell him the truth but that wouldn't help any so I refuse to lift my eyes, and he sighs "You deserve better than this, I wish you could realise that you deserve soo much better." He punches the pillar he's leaning against in annoyance "Whatever it is your going through, and I have a fair idea" Lucas comes forward to try and embrace me but I pull away, I can't handle this right now, not after this morning with Peyton and the lack of sleep."I need you to know that you don't deserve it you're a good person" Tears well in my eyes, he has no idea…

"How do you know what I deserve, maybe I everything I get" I whisper, "Maybe when something bad happens to me because its karmic payback. Maybe I'm not as good a person as you seem to think I am" I tell him looking at my feet.

"No your not a good person, you're a great person Brooke! Your one of the best people I know, I just wish you could see that" He tells me with so much conviction that I want to believe him, but there's something stopping me. "And no-one deserves to go through the amount of pain you are." I close my eyes and take a small gulp of air, my head raised upwards,

"You don't know me" I tell him, my voice hitching in my throat. "You don't have any idea about what's going on with me and my life. And the truth is I don't want you to know me, anything about me." Lies, Lies all lies!

"Yes I know you, not as well as I would like because you keep pushing me away. But I _do_ know you, and even though you aren't telling me I have a faint idea about what might be going on in your life" He seems to ignore the last sentence I said. Even though my eyes are closed I can feel his piercing eyes on me studying me and my reaction to this statement "anytime, anytime at all you want to talk I'll be there ready to listen. Your such a special person and you've quickly become one of the most important in my life. I'll be waiting for you, when your ready to talk I'll be ready to listen" and with that he takes a step forward and kisses the top of my head, I finally lift my eyes from the white stone floor to see Lucas walking down the stairs and down the path away from my house and from me, leaving me to try and keep my tears from making their way out of my eyes and down my face. I'm left feeling even more alone than before and I have no idea why.

--L--

As I walk away I can't help but feel guilty. The truth is I can't stand there and listen to Brooke telling me that she's a bad person who deserves terrible things to happen to her its too hard to listen to and I'm just not a strong enough person, and I find it very hard to deal with. So I had to walk away before I did something that I would later regret and would definitely not help the situation as fragile as it is. When I woke up this morning I thought it would be easier to get Brooke to talk, but getting blood from a stone would be easier to talk to Brooke in this mood.

I sit down in the front seat of my truck and drive off, I look at her before I drive off and she offers me a small smile and wave but I can't bring myself to return it. When I pull into the driveway of my house I start to think about Brooke. Last night she opened up a bit to me, enough to admit there was a problem that leaves her distressed and filled with pain, and then today she just threw it all back in my face. I managed to get her to open up last night, I was let in a little but today it was like it had never occurred. Maybe she's afraid of people caring for her or maybe loving her? She may push me away and treat me like a bad dream she wants rid of but its not going to stop me. She's in pain and I'm going to try my damnedest to help her whether she wants it or not. I know the hurtful things she said was in the hopes I would get so upset that I would leave her alone so I choose to ignore them. I'll be here waiting for her when she's ready to talk.

I finally get out the truck and walk up and into the house. I can hear mum in the kitchen I can hear her singing and I have a quick peep through the door and I can see her dancing with a laughing Lily on her hip. It's a beautiful sight, one filled with so much love and I smile at myself with how lucky I've been, how lucky I am. I have a loving mother, and Father in Keith, and a beautiful little sister, maybe another sibling one day I know Mum and Keith want another baby when Lily is a bit older. This house is filled to the brim with love and it always has been, but what about Brooke? I think as I walk up the stairs, leaving a giggling Lily and singing mum behind. Her mother loved her but she died 5 years ago and she hasn't had friends for a long time. She's been so alone for so long maybe she doesn't remember what it was like to be loved and maybe that's why she pushes people away? At least she has Haley and Nathan as her friends, and she also has me but I don't get the feeling from earlier she wants that to much.

----

I come down about an hour later at 6 for dinner. The aromatic smells wafting in my face as I walk down the stairs makes my mouth water and I suddenly realise how hungry I am when my stomach starts growling. I pat it in an effort to make it complacent, but I know that won't happen until I fill it with the turkey and potatoes and other glorious vegetables mum has cooked. Even though we can afford to have a chef, mum still prefers to cook for us and for the original Karen's café when she has the time.

I sit down at the table, Keith, well dad, that's still weird- a good weird but still I can't get my head around it and I constantly flit between saying the two, one day it will be second nature but for now I just need to get used to it, is at the head of the table, Mum on his left with Lily in a high chair next to her and me on his left. The table is spread with dinner; turkey, gravy, broccoli, roast potatoes, carrots, Keith even uncorks a bottle of champagne. I guess we're celebrating something, and as if on cue mum speaks.

"Guess what?" Mum asks her eyes bright and sparkling, joy in her eyes. She's looking at me expecting me to reply.

"Erm you got a promotion?" I say, I literally have no idea what the answer might be so I go with the obvious.

"You can't get further than owning a company, so no, no promotion for me" Mum laughs, Keith looks really happy too so I guess he already knows what the secret is. "I'm pregnant again" She finally says, excited would be an understatement. She looks thrilled at the prospect and I'm really happy although I did think they were going to wait until Lily was a bit older, she is only just over 1 years old.

"Congrats mum" I say happily giving her a kiss on the cheek and then going to shake Keiths hand. I also kiss Lily and ruffle her thin hair gently, she looks up at me with a big grin, "Ready to be a big sister kiddo?" I ask her just as she manages to get yoghurt in her eye and I laugh. "So long as you don't do that to the baby when it comes its all good" I tell her with a laugh as i wipe her face, Mum and Keith laugh too.

We start to eat dinner, and talk is obviously on the new arrival, turns out mum is 2 months pregnant, her and Keith want to wait until the first trimester is over before telling anyone about the baby, apparently it's during the first few months your most likely to miscarry and they don't want to jinx anything which I can respect.

"Thinking about another L name?" I ask jokingly, "Or perhaps another K name? I mean we don't want getting the mail to become too easy now do we?" I say the humour apparent in my eyes. Keith lets out a bark of laughter, Karen just rolls her eyes.

"No, Lucas, the baby will have a special name just like you and Lily and whether the name begins with an L or a Z will be up to us" She tells me matter of factly, but I can see the laughter in her eyes. As I lean to get some more potatoes, Mum starts talking again, looking straight in my eye she says "You get to pick out the baby's middle name though" I'm taken aback, I look at Keith for confirmation, who nods his head. I put the potatoes back and I grin at both my mum and Keith.

"Wow seriously?" I ask, they both nod, "That's so cool wow…" And they both laugh. I can't help but think how great my life is for the second time today before I start thinking names, I'm thinking about maybe using the name of one of my favourite authors... We carry on with dinner talking about the baby, school, work even Dan gets mentioned for a second but he is not a popular subject of conversation in this household and so that topic doesn't last too long.

---

Its when we're tidying up after our dinner I start thinking about Brooke, she clouds my thoughts and I'm almost constantly thinking about her which drives me a little insane. I think about her as I'm stacking the plates and bringing them to mum in the kitchen. How can I help someone who is so unwaveringly refusing it? She needs help so I am going to help that's not the issue, I just have no idea about how to go about it! I'm now wiping down the table and I continue to think about the whole situation. And the same question keeps coming up. _'How can I help her?'_ Its troubling me that I don't know.

"Hey mom, can I ask you something?" I say as I bring the table cleaning spray and cloth back into the kitchen to put away. Mom looks up at me, she stops cleaning the dishes of grub and leftovers before putting them in the dishwasher.

"Sure honey what is it?" She looks at me concerned, probably because I'm looking at her troubled face. Keith walks into the room just then having put Lily down to play in her play pen, baby monitor in hand which he places on the counter in the kitchen. He wraps his arms around her his hands resting on her midriff, a smile forming on both their lips. Maybe this isn't the best time to bring this up, they're soo happy and this would probably spoil the mood.

"Maybe this isn't a good time" I tell them and I leave the kitchen and walk into the living room. After about 10 minutes they join me, I'm reading a book, 'Of mice and Men' by Steinbeck, its one of my favourites and I have a first edition copy upstairs, its my most prized possession a gift from Keith. I have Tegan and Sara playing in the background and I listen to the sweet little sounds Lily makes, she's going to start talking any day soon, and its fun listening to the process.

They sit down on the sofa, mum lying across the sofa, her back resting on the arm of the sofa and her legs placed over Keith's lap. A Book held in her arms while Keith massages her feet, a big smile on her face. Its after about an hour of comfortable silence broken only by the music playing softly in the background and Lilys little baby gurgles and attempts at words, when mum starts talking to me,

"What did you want to talk about?" Mum lifts her head from the book she's reading and looks at me in the armchair, directly opposite. I give her a surprised look "Come on did you really think I was going to drop it that quickly?" She asks, I guess not, I kind of regret bringing it up now. "You look too troubled by whatever it is, there is no way I was going to drop the subject" She tells me looking in my eye, Keith puts his magazine down and looks at me too. I guess it was foolish of me to think that the subject would be over because I didn't think it was a good time, and I guess its stupid for me to think I'm going to be able to carry on reading, considering how off putting their staring is.

I sigh, "Ok Mum Keith, I need your advice." They stare at me expecting the worst I guess. They are trying to keep their faces neutral but it doesn't stop the worried expression slowly creep on mums face, but they don't say a word so I carry on. "So I have a friend and I think she's being abused by her dad, but I have no evidence and I could be completely wrong and I have no idea what to do" It's a relief to get that off my chest. Mum looks shocked and so does Keith, I don't think they were expecting that and they don't look sure about what to say. Keith opens his mouth but then quickly closes it, he does this a few times, doing a great expression of a confused goldfish.

"Is it a friend I know?" Mum asks when she finally says something. Her blue eyes filled with horror and worry, I guess thinking about all the horrible scenarios Haley or Peyton or even Nathan could be experiencing.

"No its no-one you know Mum" I tell her, and she looks relieved for a second before realising that this person could be in pain and it doesn't matter whether she knew them or not they are still experiencing it.

"Why do you think they are being abused?" She asks me, simple enough question. I gather my thoughts, the way she acts, pushing everyone away bleeding through her top, limping…

"Well…" I say placing my book on the table in front of me, then I look up at Mom and Keith, "Well she is really closed off and she pushes everyone away which is strange because she used to be a very bubbly happy person but now… well she pretends to be happy I can tell because there is so much sadness in her eyes. She doesn't let anyone back to her house and she hates talking about her dad and the way she speaks about herself… and one day I say her and her back was bleeding through her shirt, she said she fell of a swing but that just doesn't make much sense and another time she was walking around with a limp saying she fell down some steps but she didn't sound very convincing" I tell them, I hope they don't think I'm over reacting or being stupid, I'm really concerned about Brooke and I really need their help, they should know what to do, shouldn't they?

"This is a very difficult and delicate situation. And I know exactly why your having problems, On the one hand you don't want to over react or accuse a man of hurting his daughter if he's innocent, but on the other hand…" Thanks Keith for pointing out the blatantly obvious, I know that I need help, advice of any type just so long as its helpful, that's why I asked for it.

"The other hand is too awful to contemplate" I finish for Keith. He looks at me, sadness in his eyes.

"I suggest go to the police, make a complaint they can investigate and if he's guilty well they'll find out" Mom tells me, I look at her, that will only be a last resort. Calling the police might only make things worse for Brooke and show nothing. The police might not even take me seriously without any evidence, Mr Davis is a very powerful man in this town.

Silence reigns for a number of minutes, Mom and Keith trying to think of some better advice to give me, while I'm trying to think how Brooke is, I hope she's alright. I hear crying and we all look up, Lily who has just learned how to walk seems to have fallen over and is crying her little eyes out. Keith makes to get up to pick up Lily and comfort her but I get there first and scoop my beautiful baby sister in my arms making soothing noises to calm her down which works after a couple minutes. She looks up into my blue eyes with her own beautiful clear sky blue orbs, glistening from all the shed tears some of which are still clinging to her eyelashes. As I look down at my little sister I suddenly feel protective, I would never let anyone hurt her and I don't understand how anyone could want to hurt something they love. How could a father ever hurt his daughter? Aren't they supposed to love them deeply? I thought there was supposed to be a special bond between a father and his daughter? Well I'm going to protect Brooke from him as best as I can.

--B--

I look as Lucas walks away, maybe pushing him away wasn't the best idea in the world but I just can't deal with it all. I was right when I thought today was going to be an emotionally draining day. I watch as he gets in his battered old truck and drive off. He looks back at me just before he goes and I give him a small wave and smile but he doesn't return it, he seems to be really upset and I know that its all my fault, I caused someone pain again but I just can't have him meddling with my life it will just make everything so much worse.

For the second time in the day I place my back on the door and then sink to the ground. My face wet with the tears that are falling. After 5 minutes I pull myself together and I walk to my car to check myself in the sideview mirror and make sure that I look presentable, so that when I get inside so that very few questions are asked about this little visit.

I finally open the door and walk inside with all the confidence I can muster. My dad see's me walk in the house and slams the lid of his laptop with a lot of force which makes me flinch. I try and pretend that nothing has happened and I walk into the kitchen and turn on the coffee maker making myself a fresh cup of decaf. I can feel him walk up behind me and I try to stay as calm as I can even though I feel the exact opposite and want to run away screaming.

"Slut" He hisses, his voice full of malice, my face cringes at his choice of words and the tone at which he says it at but lucky my face is turned away from his. I don't say anything, hopefully he won't be too mad. "You're sleeping with that boy" He says angrily down the back of my neck, using the same malicious tone. I close my eyes, hopefully he'll just speak to me today and do nothing else. I fervently pray that this will be the case, but I know I'm asking for a miracle.

"No I'm not" I reply hotly to that allegation. I've never had a boyfriend and I've never slept with anyone, I don't appreciate being accused of things I haven not done.

"Was that Peytons boyfriend? Sleeping with Peytons boyfriend, _classy_" But my denial seems to have fallen on deaf ears, he's ignoring what I'm saying and seems to have his own scenario about what has been 'going down' and done his own little brand of maths adding one and one and come up with 150.

"No you've got it all wrong" I say desperation tracing my voice "Please daddy nothing happened between us" I'm starting to get frantic, this could really push him off into the deep end and that's really, really bad for me.

"Are you calling me an idiot?" He asks his temper flaring "Well I am not a fool and I know theres something going on between the two of you. I know you were out last night, probably with him" He spits the last bit of the sentence like it disgusts him, I close my eyes "I'm not going to have a slut for a daughter."

"That's not what happened daddy" I tell him, I'm getting more distressed by the minute, I open my eyes to see the rage in my dads. 'This can only get worse' I think to myself and I'm terrified

"So what happened?" He yells at me, spit flying onto my face

"I can't tell you" I cry, that's going to get me into so much trouble but I can't help it. I'm not going to tell him about the party, which despite some drawbacks was the best night of my teenage life and I'm not going to let him ruin it.

He punches my face and the force turns my face round and I hit the corner of the cupboard, just above my eye, knocking the cup of boiling hot coffee down my arm. I scream out in pain, but he just seems to ignore, my pain. He grabs me tightly by arm and drags me to my bedroom.

"You are not leaving this room until you admit what you did with that boy" He tells me grabbing my phone and laptop as he leaves. I'm left in my room, crying my tears all alone with my teddy bear. Blood streaming from the cut above my eye, and my cheek feeling sore from the punch. My arm also hurts but my cardigan took the burnt of the boiling coffee and I don't think its going to burn all that much I think as I get off my bed and walk to my en suite to put it under cold water.

----

_Cruelty, like every other vice, requires no motive outside of itself; it only requires opportunity._  
_**-George Eliot**_

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_**A/N:**__ here's the next chapter I hope you thought it was halfway decent. I'm sorry it took me so long to get it out but I wasn't so sure what to write. I have some writers block at the moment and I think the chapter suffered because of it. Anyway the next few chapters will take a while to get out because I have some exams coming up. (oh and i've written a chapter for a new story, its called someday, i know i probably shouldn't start a new story when this one isn't finished but i just really got inspired for it so have a little lookie at that one too if you want)  
_

_If people could help me with some ideas? Only I know how I want it to end I'm just stuck on what should happen in the middle chapters. I'll totally give you credit if I borrow an idea._

_A thank you to my awesome reviewers, I love reading your reviews and to others who read the story let me know what you think, good or bad it helps with the story XD_

_**VN200**_

_**BDavisLScott23**_

_**dmpanda5**_

_**jessieclaire**_

_**bella **_

_**Long Live Brucas**_

_**sunshine**_

_**brulian equals forbidden love. **_

_**iRiSh-AcE**_

_**-SlumdogDelaware **_

_**psiek**_

_**s1r1**_

_**Remember to review… it makes me happy XD**_


	8. what living feels like

_**Disclaimer:**__ It was all rumours, One tree hill belongs to Mark and CW not me sadly._

_**A/N:**__ Sorry about the delay Sit back, relax and enjoy! (song title is a line from the song: too much in your life- Delays)_

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_**Chapter 8: what living feels like**_

_"Don't walk behind me; I may not lead. Don't walk in front of me; I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my friend."_

_**-Albert Camus**_

----

Its been nearly two weeks, two weeks since I've seen Brooke and I'm getting slightly frantic with worry. What the hell happened to her? I keep thinking that her dad might have done more than hurt her… but I push those thoughts to the back of my mind. Its not just that she hasn't picked up when I called, but when Haley, Rachel and Nathan try to get in contact with her she doesn't pick up or call back. She's not angry at them, and I know she would call back. I'm so deep in thought, lying on my bed throwing the basketball in the air and catching it, that I don't hear someone at the door knocking. They come in anyway and sit on the edge of my bed, when I feel the bed sag slightly I look up and see Keith sitting there. He looks straight at me, like he expects me to talk which I don't. I continue throwing the ball at the ceiling. So he begins and I decide to sit up.

"If you do that too much longer you'll make a hole in the ceiling and it'll probably fall down on you" Keith says softly. He knows I only do this when I'm stressed, worried or need to think, its my release, this and the rivercourt. So the fact I've been doing this for almost two weeks worries him, which I feel guilty about. "Do you want to talk about it?" he adds.

I think about it… what harm could it do, he might be able to help. "Erm yes, remember that friend of mine, the one I think is being hurt?" Keith nods, I think he knew this is all I've been thinking about for the last couple weeks "Well I haven't seen that person for a while, I mean about two weeks. Not at school or just around anywhere, she won't pick up the phone for well anyone. What if he's done something to her?" I look down at the ball, I can't think about that, although, it's all I can actually think about.

Keith looks at me sadly, his eyes pretty much say this is too much for a 17 year old to carry on his shoulders. I just wish that Brooke would come out and tell the world and have that monster locked up. I don't understand it. Especially when she said she deserved it, that replays in mind all the time, who can she possibly believe that? How can she not realise that she deserves soo much more from life? It kills me.

"All I can say is go to the police station and fill out a missing person report, maybe report the father." Keith looks so lost, he has no idea what to say to help me and it upsets him I can tell. I've always been able to go to Keith for guidance and get some great advice in return, but this is soo much bigger than anything else that's happened in my life and he has no experience with it.

"Thanks." I whisper and I watch as he walks out of the room and down the hallway straight into Lilly's room either to watch her sleep, or if she's awake, to give her an extra cuddle. Everytime we talk about this subject he does this, and I see him look at Lily and me wondering how a father could ever harm his child, in the sadness and confusion is visible in his eyes.

I turn my sound system on and press play, and close my eyes as I let the lyrics of the Delays wash over me and block out thoughts of Brooke, I need to stop thinking of her because I know its going to slowly drive me insane.

----

I jump out my battered old truck, its funny I can't seem to let go of it even though we can afford to get me a flash new car I never want to get rid of my good old faithful. It's a beautiful machine that hasn't let me down yet. I want to be Brooke's truck, always there for her and never letting her down, she's had enough of that in her life. Like this truck has been constant in my life, I want to be the same for Brooke that is, if she'll let me. I just wish I knew what it is thats happened to her.

I slam the door behind me as Nathan and Haley walk up next to me, his arm around her shoulder and hers around his waist, ready to go in to school.

"Woah dude, what did the truck do to you?" Nathan asks jokingly.

"Nothing" I mumble in return, I hadn't meant to slam the door quite so hard, its just I get so frustrated thinking of Brooke that the car door was collateral damage. I doubt there will be any damage though because like I said earlier that truck has never let me down, in the last few years it hasn't broken down once so a little door slamming won't break it.

As we walk into school, Haley talks to Nathan about their plans for the evening while I think about maybe Brooke will finally make it into school for the first time in about two weeks and this weight I'm carrying around on my shoulders will be slightly eased and I'll be able to stop worrying about her for a short while.

We stop outside our lockers and I pull my book bag off my shoulder and chuck my books in haphazardly into the locker pulling out the ones I need. I guess I'm usually more gentle with my books because the happy couple look at me funny.

"It wasn't the car he had the problem with, it's the books" Nathan laughs and he leans against the locker looking at me, "Seriously dude whats up?"

"Just drop it." I reply, I'm seriously not in the mood to talk about anything at the moment. I guess I'm brooding at the moment, like everyone says I do all the time anyway. Nathan puts his hand in the air as a joke surrender, while Haleys eyes narrow, that girl is too perceptive for her own good and I'm pretty sure she's going to bug me until I tell her what the problem is. I just wish she could help. But the bell goes before she can say anything and as we have different classes now we go our separate ways so she can't hassle me, and I breathe a sigh of relief.

----

Its lunch when I see Haley and Nathan again, they're sitting at our table with some of the others; Mouth who is talking to Rachel, Skillz and Bevin are cuddling together and putting some of the others off their food, and Peyton and Jake are together talking, they seem to have been growing closer to each other since the party. In fact I hardly ever see them apart, I guess I'll hear about them dating soon enough and I feel good about it if it makes them happy then I hope they go for it.

I pull up a seat next to Nathan and start eating my fries. I don't say a word, I like listening to all the different conversations without having to put in any input, and the best thing is I don't have to because I'm the brooding one in the corner. According to Rachel that's my role in the group; the tortured athlete which I find funny. My life is too good for me to be tortured, well except for Dan but we don't talk about him much and anyway, I think he gives Nathan more reason to be a tortured soul considering he's the one who's had to deal with him all these years.

I look up and as I watch Nathan, who's hand is intertwined with Haleys, bring their hands to his lips and kiss them, a thought strikes me.

"Heey Hales, you know Mr Davies right?" She looks up at me and nods in affirmative, waiting for me to continue, "Well what's he like?"

"Erm, well the last time I saw him was, well a long time ago." Haley seems a bit uncomfortable at the question, I'm really curious as to why. "but yeh he was a good man. He loved Brooke and his wife soooo much it was really beautiful to see and when Mrs. Davies died he was devastated." She says sadly, but she still looks like she's not telling me the whole truth.

The rest of the table has now shut up, well except for Skillz and Bevin, and is listening in to our conversation, but I don't mind if I wanted a private one I wouldn't have started this chat in the middle of the courtyard during lunch break.

"So what aren't you telling me" I press further and Haley sighs, she's not going to get this past me.

"I dunno… he just seemed like… well I always got the impression he saw Brooke and her Mom like his possessions, he could do what he wanted with them because they were his. But he loved them so he would never have hurt them." Haley adds the last part when she sees my face. She has almost completely confirms my suspicions, and I know she can tell what I'm thinking as I can feel my whole demeanour darken and my eyes narrow. "Why do you want to know anyway?" she adds her facial expression also narrowing, but before I can answer Peyton interrupts.

"You know he's an alcoholic right?" She says matter of factly, before taking a fry off Jakes plate and putting it in her mouth.

"How do you know that?" Nathan asks confused, I want to know to so I just look at her.

"Well when I went over there just after the party to clear the air between us, well her dad was there a beer can in his hand and what looked like an empty one next to it." Peyton explains to us, shrugging her shoulders. Haley sends her a smile, I know she's proud of Peyton letting go of the past and moving forward with her future, a smile which Peyton reciprocates.

"Well whats wrong with that?" Mouth asks looking at Peyton, "My dad drinks beers and he's not a drunk."

"So your dad drinks two beers before 10 in the morning?" Peyton asks her eyebrow raised, Mouth shakes his head, she has him there.

I meanwhile digest all this new information, if he does think of Brooke as his possession and he drinks, well I don't think that makes for a good combination at all. Any doubts I had as to whether or not Brookes father is hurting her are completely and truly shot down, I just hope its not too late for her. I pray she's fine.

"So why did you want to know Lucas?" Rachel asks, I was wondering when she'd join in this conversation. "Hoping to ask her daddy for her hand in marriage, I saw the way you looked at her at the party." She says out loud, a smirk firmly in place. I look around to see the damage the statement has cause; Haley is looking at me her lips pursed, Nathan is smirking and Peyton is staring down at her plate looking upset not making eye contact with anyone. Smooth Rachel, very smooth.

"Look we haven't seen Brooke for quite a while, nearly two weeks. Aren't any of you worried or concerned?" I ask clarifying my intentions and hoping to make the others feel as concerned for Brookes welfare as I am. "She hasn't picked up any of our calls or returned them, don't you think that's strange… I can't be the only one who thinks like this."

"Are you seriously suggesting what I think you are Lucas?" Haley asks me, she looks pretty pissed. "Because that man would never and I mean _never_ hurt Brooke, he loves her. And anyway she's having her homework sent over to her house, she's sick. And by the way its just been over a week." Haley stands up and walks off as the bell goes. The others also get up, getting rid of their rubbish and putting their bags on their backs and start making their way to the building to go to class.

I stay their sitting in my seat. I wanted to shout at Haley, 'you knew the man that he was then but you have no idea about the man that he is now.' People change. Brookes a walking poster child for that fact, so how could she dismiss the idea so directly like that? I guess she might be scared by the idea… I sit there in the same spot for maybe half an hour weighing up my options. I finally decide I have no other option and walk across the courtyard to the car park and jump in and drive off.

---

The decision to come here was easy enough to make, but actually going in is a different question. I'm sitting in the parking lot of the local police station weighing up my options. What if there really is just nothing wrong and Brooke is just sick? I could make everything ten times worse by going in. Then again what if he went to far last time he hurt her and well… then this could be a really important and they could catch him.

I'm still sitting there twenty minutes later, this can't be a rushed decision a girls, no a friends life hangs in the balance, I'm sure of it. Although in all those lifetime movies going to the police station always seems to make the whole situation worse. On top of that, I have no evidence so there's a big chance I'll just be laughed out of the station but at least I know I tried, and I will keep on trying till I know she's safe. With my decision made I get out the car and walk to the door. With a deep breath, mainly to calm my nerves and to give me strength and confidence, I pull the door open and walk inside. There is a counter with an officer behind it and a bunch of people sitting down in chairs. I walk to the counter and stare at the police officer, trying to find the words to explain what I'm doing here.

"Son, you going to speak anytime soon?" He asks with tired eyes, "Cus we 'aint gona to be able to do our job without knowing what it is that's the problem."

With all the confidence I can muster I utter, "Its my friend, I think her dads abusing her. I'm really, really worried about her."

"Do you have any evidence" He asks me.

"Well, this one time she bled through her shirt at school." I tell him, my voice getting more frantic, "On her back. Look you have to check it out I haven't seen her for nearly two weeks."

The officer seems to be making notes as I talk, and when I finish he looks up at me, his eyes full of compassion.

"K son, I'll tell you what we'll do. We'll swing a patrol later and see whats what, how does that sound?" its more a statement then a question and I nod. It sounds good enough for now. Right now I just need to know she's alive, this is the best I can ask for as there is nothing more I can really do right now. I give the officer Brookes name and address, I see his eyes go big when he sees its _Mr Davies_, the man is pretty powerful in this town and no-one really wants to cross him, so I expect him to say that actually they aren't going to do it anymore but he doesn't and inside I'm pleased I'm finally able to do something.

I head for the exit and as I push the door open I almost hit someone coming in.

"My my my, you should really watch where your going son" I look up to see Dan with that annoying smirk on his face, I really want to punch it off his face but I restrain myself and try to walk away. "You know I knew you would end up in here sooner or later, what with Keiths influence in your life." He carries on, and I know he's trying to goad me into a fight, which would be bad for me especially in front of a police station but I can't have him insult Keith.

I turn and walk back so that we're face to face, "You know I'm not your son, and Keith is 100 times the man and father you could ever wish to be." I hiss at him. But that smirk refuses to be removed and it makes his smug face look like it needs a good beating- just not from me.

"Careful, I'm still your father _SON_ and the mayor of this town, so you need to show me some respect." His eyes glare at me, trying to intimidate me but it doesn't work, those days are long gone. He has no affect on me anymore and I feel liberated by this fact.

"Your not my _father _just the sperm donor Dan. Keith is my father he has been from day one and he is legally by law my father now." I look Dan up and down, I wait for his comeback which doesn't come. He just walks into the building and the minute I see him gone I relax, until I hear him on the inside asking what it was I was doing there. Oh god, I hope he doesn't find out.

--B--

I'm there lying in bed, earphones in my ear hoping listening to the Delays will make me forget everything, so I try and let the music wash over me and transport me as far away from here as I can. I've been locked in my room for over a week I think? Its just so hard not only to keep track of time but to keep myself entertained when all I have from keeping me from going insane is a couple books, a teddy bear a d iary and an ipod, which I managed to hide from my father when he was emptying my room of anything that might keep me entertained and stop this from being a punishment. So I said bye bye to my television, radio, mobile. You know people are right when they say solitary confinement is the worst possible punishment you could ever give someone.

I don't think he meant to keep me in this long, I know he was hoping that I would give up and confess the next day after he took everything. Well I didn't and he cant be seen to be giving in that would make him weak. This has become a battle of wills and I'm going to beat him. I have to. I can't give in. If I do then it just proves I haven't got the strength to go against him, that I shouldn't even bother… I need to win this battle, just to prove to myself that I can win the war.

I stare up at the ceiling, like I have done for the past god knows how many days, just staring and thinking, its not like I have nothing else to do. I throw the book resting on my chest across the room in frustration. I feel a little satisfaction when I hear it hit the wall, but it only lasts a second then I'm back at square one, annoyed and frustrated and going just about stir crazy. I've actually taken to having about two or three showers a day just so I have something to do, and even though its not all that healthy I actually enjoy the feel of the water beating down on my skin washing away the dirt, it makes me feel clean on the inside more than it does the outside.

I pull my earphones out my ears, I wonder if anyone is worried about me? In some ways I hope so and in other ways I hope not. On one side I need to know someone cares for some reason to know that I have something or someone to fight for, but then again if they do and they make a big deal it could make the situation worse. I guess overall I just need to know that I have someone or some people because then it'll make this, being stuck here, worth it because like I said I need to know I have a reason to fight.

I hear the phone ring downstairs and in the hallway, but it doesn't ring for too long. I turn over and face my wall and the tiny window on the opposite side of the room to the door, cuddling my teddy. A few minutes later the door to my room flings open, I stay on my side. I feel something hit me but I don't even turn to see what it is.

"That was an associate of mine on the phone, apparently someone cares enough about you to report you missing, the police going to make a quick stop." He tells me I can tell he's sneering, and when I don't make any kind of gesture to show that I heard what he said, he walks over to me and kneels next to my bed, grabbing my chin and cheek tightly in his hands and staring directly in my blank eyes he says. "I think you know who it is and if you value his life at all you'll stick to the story when I call you up, to prove you're alive and kicking. Understand?"

I nod, he drops my face and walks away a few moments later I hear the door close and let out a sigh of relief. Its low threatening the life of someone else, a friend, but he knows threatening mine won't have an effect on me anymore, being stuck here has done that. The only problem is I don't know if he's bluffing or if he'll actually go through with it, because even behind bars he could get a 'friend' to hurt Lucas. I sit here debating the whole thing in my mind for a while.

Say something- be free but hurt Lucas, say nothing- continue to be a caged animal in my life but protect Lucas. It's a double edged sword, either way I go someone gets hurt, but there's really no contest. I know exactly what I have to do. There was never any choice in the matter.

---

I hear the door open and the faint muffled sound of conversations drifts up to my room, but its too far away to hear what is being said. I can just tell that there is a conversation going on. I even hear laughter, the man is a charmer. I continue to lie on the bed, but I turn over so I'm now on my back, my hands laced together placed on my stomach. I wait for my cell to start ringing, I'm pretty sure he's left the phone somewhere in my room. I hear my ringtone and realise that I don't even have to get out of bed, my phone is here in it with me. I dig it out from under my back- so that's what hit me earlier. I hold my phone out in front of me, the ringtone is steadily getting louder and I'm sure taking this long to answer is starting to annoy him, I can actually see his face getting redder by the second.

"How may I help?" I ask eventually answering the phone.

"Hello, my name is Officer Petty, someone lodged a complaint with your father and I'm here to check it out" I can hear him swallow and pause probably looking at my father with an apologetic face, before he carries on, "I hear you're out of town at the moment?"

My eyes roll up to the ceiling. "Yes, I'm visiting my aunt Penelope in Raleigh, she was sick so I had to stay longer than I planned but I'm coming back soon." I tell him in a monotonic voice with no emotion visible, he seems to buy it though because when he talks again he's much more upbeat. I guess he was scared he might have to arrest my father and no-one wants to go against the big dog in a little town.

"That's good… that's good. Well I hope your aunt gets better soon, and you have a safe journey back here. And don't forget to keep in contact with your friends, they worry." I hear the phone click, and the dial tone come up, he hangs up the phone and I close my eyes letting some tears fall down my cheek.

I hope he leaves Lucas now, I did my end of the deal. I know he's probably livid that someone has interfered but if he hurt Lucas that would kill me. He was only trying to help and deep down I feel soo happy that someone cares, that _he_ cares, but god I wish he left it all alone. I hear some laughter, probably talking about overactive teen imaginations, and then the front doors closes and I feel completely alone again.

----

I walk into my room in a vest and a pair of boy shorts underpants. I just brushed my teeth and my hair in my en-suite and now I'm about to go back to bed, the thing I've been living in these past few days? Weeks? Who knows and who cares. I turn to the door to turn off the light and I see him standing there in the doorway which makes me jump a mile. He's just standing there staring at me and I feel so uncomfortable so I fold my arms across my stomach and I just stare back, my face angry. Before I even know whats happening he's pulled me into a hug and I drop my hands to my sides and they just hang their limply with no purpose, I'm not going to reciprocate.

"Your soo beautiful, you look exactly like your mother. She would be so proud of you if she could see you now." He whispers into my hair by my ear.

"She wouldn't be proud of you." I hiss back, and he promptly lets me go. The man is psycho and I'm so tired with trying to keep up with his mood swings.

"I think its time you go back to school." He says in a menacing tone. I stare at him in disbelief, is he actually giving in? Did I… Did I win this? I wait for what he'll say next, for the conditions, but his lips stay tightly shut and his steely gaze is still on mine. So I ask the question that has been lingering in my mind for these last few days.

"Why did you think that I was sleeping with Peytons _ex_ boyfriend?" I ask, I meet his stare unblinkingly. For once I feel strong, like I can do this- stand up to him.

"Oh hunny." He says in such a condescending tone and his eyes are filled with disdain. "There isn't anything I don't know about your life. I know those two were dating and then you came on the scene and whoosh the relationship is and he's following you around like a little lost puppy." His lips turn up in an annoying smirk that I just want to slap off his face so I stand there trying to look cool and collected. "its not hard to put two and two together especially since Peyton visited you after what 5 years of not being friends?"

Now its my turn to smirk at him, I sit down on the end of my bed but I keep my eyes locked on his the whole time.

"You have no idea what happened that night and its killing you." I tell him, now I understand why he has me here, he needs to know what I'm doing every hour of everyday, and he has an evening that is blank which he can't stand. I'm not his daughter I'm just an object he can control. Its not even my life anymore its his. "Was your informant, or well you seem to like to call him your associate, was he away on a business trip? Is that why you don't know?" I know exactly who this man is.

He looks at me like he can't believe my nerve, and well neither can I, I don't think I've ever stood up to him in my life. I try to look all calm and collected, like I'm in control but I'm not and inside I'm about to break down. I'm terrified. I just hope that he'll lay off me for a while, but at least I learnt one thing from this- I'm not as weak as I thought I was. I can stand up to this man, and I will. I will get my life back.

I think he's about to leave, but in a blink of an eye he's pushed me down on the bed. He's face is inches from mine and he's on top of me, making it impossible for me to escape. I can see the rage flashing in his eyes and I know he can see the terror in mine. His hands are around my neck pressing down and I'm having trouble breathing.

"If you ever tell anyone what has happened, it won't be you who gets hurt." Spit flies from his mouth and lands on my face, I squeeze my eyes shut so I don't have to see him, so I can block his face from my mind. "In fact, if you want your little boyfriend to stay safe I would stop hanging out with him full stop." Then he gets up and walks out the room slamming the door behind him.

I sit on the bed, the tears rolling freely down my face as I try to comprehend what has just happened. I take shallow breaths as I gently stroke my throat. I cry, not just because that's the scariest my dad has ever been, but because I'm going to have to stop a friendship with the only one who's tried to make a difference. I just hope Lucas doesn't make it too hard. Ergh, I punch the space of bed next to me, no wonder the man is such a good businessman, he sees a weak spot and jumps straight to exploiting it. But at least I get to go to school tomorrow and see Haley and Nathan, at least I still have a reason. But mainly I wonder… Did I actually win?

----

_To do anything in this world worth doing, we must not stand back shivering and thinking of the cold and danger, but jump in, and scramble through as well as we can._

_**Sydney smith**_

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_**A/n:**__ Sorry about how long it took for this chapter to get up. I feel really bad, and it'll be a while before the next one will be up because I have exams next week- wish me luck.(sorry about any grmmatical mistakes- i havent had time to double/ triple check)  
_

_Also I'm not an angsty person so I have no idea why this is so angsty. (I also have no experience of violence at home. I'm only using what I've read in those real life books, interviews on the telly and films.)_

_Oh and the thing with the time. Lucas is really worried so to him its been almost two weeks (its exaggerated) and to the others they just see it as over a week. (its both the same time, just seen differently)_

_**Again I would love to thank everyone who favourited the story, put it on alert and the awesome people who reviewed. Thank you**_

_**amy-r-3**_

_**koumi11**_

_**catcat51092**_

_**Long Live BRUCAS**_

_**bella**_

_**PrincessOnyx**_

_**iRiSh-AcE**_

_**Brucas10**_

_**psiek**_

_**dmpanda5 **_

_**miralinda**_

_**Love it? Hated it? Review please.**_


	9. AN

A/N: I'm sorry I've taken so long with the next update for this story. I've been really busy with my life, lots has been happening so I haven't been able to find much time to write and update. I hope you guys aren't too upset. I should be updating next weekend. And then after a brief holiday I should be free to update much more frequently.

On another note, I noticed there was a significant decrease with the number of reviews I got for my last chapter I posted. Does that mean it sucked? If it did can you tell me why? (So I don't repeat the same mistake).

I hope you aren't too annoyed at the delay and enjoy the next chapter when it comes out.


	10. AN2

I haven't forgotten about this story i promise! I've just been really busy. I'll post the next chapter in the next 2/3 weeks.

I know its been a very long time since i've posted a chapter for this story, and thats because i have a serious case of writers block for this one, but i will finish it.

I'm soo sooo sorry I haven't updated in so long and i hope when i do update that there will still be people wanting to read the story.


	11. AN3

To all my readers I want to apologise! Sooo much, I'm sooooooooooooo sorry!!! I've been so busy with my study i haven't had any time to write.

I promise that i will finish the story, you can expect like loads of updates in the holidays, but during term time there will be very few- because i need

to focus on my study which i'm falling behind on. Sorry!

I have half of the next chapter written up, so i need to find time to write up the next half- so you'll recieve it sooner rather than later hopefully.

Hope you all don't hate me

xXx


	12. What is and What should never be

_**Disclaimer:**__ One tree hill doesn't belong to me, never has never will (sadly)_

_**A/n:**__ Just enjoy it XD._

_**Chapter 9: What is and What should never be**_

_You cannot teach a man anything; you can only help him find it within himself._

_**Galileo Galilei**_

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"Hales, wait up" I shout as I try and catch up with Haley. We haven't spoken since our argument yesterday at lunch, while she doesn't stop to wait for me she does slow down which means I've caught up with her within a couple seconds.

"I'm not sorry about what I suggested yesterday lunch, but I am sorry I made you so angry. Lets just forget anything was said" I suggest.

"Sure." Haley replies, and while she doesn't flash me her winning smile she does seem to relax as little and we walk up into school. We stand by her locker waiting for Nathan to turn up. We make some small talk but say nothing of consequence, and as she ties her long light brown hair up in a messy bun I look away at the passing multi coloured sea of students and for a second I think I see Brooke, but I'm not sure, and she's gone in a blink of the eye. Still I can't help but feel excited that she might be there in our next English class. And as a result the following classes seems to drag and I practically run out the class when the bell goes to get to English so I can be one of the first and see Brooke walk in.

I sit there waiting for just over 5 minutes before I see Brooke walk in and my heart skips a beat, partly due to the relief I feel at seeing her again and partly due to the happiness I feel at seeing her again. I notice that the way she's holding herself makes her seem apprehensive, scared almost. Her head is kept down and the loose dark brown hair falls in front of her face, she walks to her desk almost out of memory and once she's sitting at it she puts her head in her hands. I had been hoping for a small smile or a little wave, something to show our friendship that had been growing over these last few months had been real not just a figment of my imagination as it feels like right now. She doesn't even glance in my direction the whole period. Even though I glance at her a few times, but the only thing that changes is that she lifts her head out of her hands and pushes her hair behind her ears and stares at the teacher making a good impression of listening to what he has to say, or, she really is listening, I have no idea.

Maybe she's mad at me, I need her to know that going to the police was a last resort; I needed to know she wasn't dead. Some of the thoughts going that were round my head were too terrible to even comprehend. The more I think about it the more it makes sense. She's angry at me so she's ignoring me. I'll try my best to be charming and funny so that she'll have to forgive me instantly because she just won't be able to stay mad at me. I smile at myself liking this plan, I just need to think of what I'm going to say. I drag my eyes away from Brooke to realise that everyone is staring at me expectantly.

"So Mr Scott?" Mr Reynolds seems to be waiting for my reply, only I didn't hear the question.

"I'm sorry I didn't hear the question." I reply looking back at him.

"That's because I didn't ask one." He replies, I feel my face turning slightly pink. "I suggest instead of staring at Miss Davies you listen to me." Mr Reynolds instructs me making the other pupils laugh except for Brooke who blushes, the only one in the class not looking at me. He returns to talk about the subject at hand while I wish away the seconds until class is out and I can get Brooke on her own to talk. I need her to know how glad I am to have her back, to see her alive, maybe not well – but I'm going to work on that. Right now seeing her sitting in front of me with her chestnut brown hair cascading down her back in soft waves makes me happier than I have felt in the last few weeks. What I need to do is figure out some way to get her away from her father though. Now I know she's alive, I can focus on getting her out of that mans vice like grip. I get angry as I think about the hell she's been going through for these last few years, she finally deserves some happiness in her life. I look down at my watch, I feel as if this lesson is never going to end, its dragging on for so long but eventually the bell does ring and the classroom empties out pretty quickly and Brooke is one of the first out the room. Her speed catches me off guard and before I know it she's disappeared. I should have known she wouldn't make it easy for me.

---

I walk over, slightly dejectedly, to our normal lunch table with my food tray. I sit down next to Bevin who's talking to some faceless cheerleader. It may seem rude but apart from the few in my life I couldn't really careless about the other cheerleaders, they all seem to morph into one anyway. They both smile at me and I return it before getting back to my thoughts while playing with my cherry yoghurt which doesn't really taste like yoghurt more like what a factory machine thinks cherry yoghurt tastes like. I'm so into playing with the yoghurt that I don't really notice that anybody else has come until I look up and see the table is practically full. I look for my friends, Skillz has Bevin on his lap, ahhh young love at its, well, most horny. I turn my head away from their make out session, I may not have wanted to eat the yoghurt but I still want to be able to eat the rest of my food. Rachel, Mouth and Nathan seem to be talking about something funny because the shrieks of laughter coming from where they are sitting keeps distracting Peyton who sends glares in their direction before returning to her sketch pad and listening to what Jake has to say. I'm curious as to what it is she's drawing but I know better than to ask. We aren't quite friends yet and I don't want to force her, if there is one thing I know its not to force Peyton to do something when she's not sure because she will do the opposite of what's being forced on her.

I start to get up to leave when Haley sits down next to me with a very uncomfortable and reluctant Brooke who sits next to Haley. Some of the other cheerleaders immediately get up and leave when Brooke sits down making her immediately stand up to leave but Haley pulls her down and whispers in her ear.

"I'd rather have you here than their fake asses. Don't take notice." Even though she whispers at a barely audible level I still manage to hear her and it warms my heart to hear Haley say that. I hope Brooke notices that people do care, and that if she let them, she could be loved by so many. But I guess this is something that Brooke is just going to have to learn over time, I'll just have to make sure I'm there to drive the message home.

"So guess who I bumped into." Haley announced loudly getting everyone's attention as she put her arms around Brooke's shoulders indicating that it was that it was her she was talking about. Most of the group was slightly confused by Brookes presence but Nathan and Rachel smiled at Brooke and give her a little wave making her a little less tense, only by the tiniest amount though.

"Brooke? But I thought you were in the mental home because you schizophrenia came back. That's what Teresa said. That's why you weren't here." Bevin parroted confused. Not exactly the brightest bulb of the bunch.

"Shut up Bevin." Rachel and Peyton said at the same time. Peyton still had to look at Brooke or acknowledge her with a small nod, but this would be the closest I think we'd get for a while, and to be fair it was a vast improvement from just a few weeks ago. She wasn't spreading or laughing at the rumours anymore.

"It wasn't Schizophrenia Bev, Brooke's body lice came back and -"

"Shut it Tim." Nathan warned shooting his lackey an angry stare making his loyal follower immediately stop talking, the last thing Tim would want to do is make Nathan angry. Sometimes I think the guy is completely in love with Nathan, I wouldn't be surprised if he had a shrine to Nathan in his room which he prayed to every night before going to sleep.

"Its great to have you here. I hope you do it more often" Nathan says to Brooke a twinkle in his eye, Haley mouths 'thank you' in return. Brooke on the other hand looks like she's about to cry, probably due to how horrible it is to have rumours like that spread about mixed with how nice the others are being. Well it makes for a very emotional person and Brooke is only human.

The rest of the lunch break goes by without any incident, Rachel comes over and sits down next Brooke and Haley and the three of them sit and laugh together. I notice Peyton look up at the three of them jealousy clearly in her eyes. I prefer to just observe what's going on. How alive Brooke looks, her face appears so much younger when it is free from worry and sadness. Her face is so lit up in a graceful smile which coupled with her moon crater dimples, her smile dominates her face and she seems so vibrant and full of life. When she laughs it's the sweetest music I hear, and the way her hair moves in rhythm to the sound is exquisite. I just stare at the three of them, then I scan the group again, now its only Nathan, Mouth, Jake, Peyton, Haley, Rachel and Brooke here and I prefer it this way. None of the other cheerleaders and Jocks to bother us, the people here at the table are the people I truly care about.

"So Brooke, I'd love it if you could help choreograph our routine for the cheerleading tournament?" Haley asks, now all eyes are on the two. Brooke looks like a deer caught in the headlights, she's obviously torn. There are soo many pluses and minuses that she's trying to make sense of them in her mind so she can decide what she's going to do. She sits there for a couple minutes just thinking. "Bear in mind Peyton and I aren't going to take no for an answer. Its our last year and we want to finally win that trophy." Haley adds with a smile on her face.

"I… erm… ok?" Brooke says, the expression on her face looks like she's not sure she's made the right decision.

"Ahhh this is so great," Haley hugs Brooke, who laughs only a hint of uncertainty taints the beautiful sound. She then gets up mumbles something about the toilet and doing work in the library. She then removes herself and slowly disappears in the throng of students.

Peyton closes her sketchbook, putting it in her bag along with her pencils and inks, and then looks at Haley, her eyebrow raised.

"You couldn't care less about that trophy." Peyton states matter of factly.

"I see this as a stepping stone to Brooke joining the team." Haley replies with a sweet smile. "It's our final year here, and I think it would be nice to finally win that trophy anyway."

"hmmm" Peyton says sceptically, before getting up and walking into the school building, Haley, Nathan, Mouth and Rachel following suit. Leaving me and Jake, the last two just sitting there.

"Dude there's something I want to talk to you about." Jake starts, he looks kinda nervous. I can guess what's coming though, and I decide to jump the gun.

"If its about you and Peyton, I'm totally fine with it. You make her happy and make sense." And that's the truth, I love Peyton but not in a way that you need to make a relationship work, if Jake and Peyton have that spark then who am I to stand in their way. If they have a chance to be happy and have a relationship that can work, I'm not going to be selfish and stand in their way, what would be the point in that? Even if it doesn't work out they should have the chance to try.

"Seriously? That was much easier then I imagined, I even had a whole little speech prepared. I laugh at that little tidbit of information.

"Its like George Sand says, _There_ _is only one happiness in life, to love and be loved_. I would be a pretty cruel person to stand in the way of the happiness of two people I care about because I happened to have been in a relationship with one of the people and it didn't work out." I mean every word. I care about the two of them and I wouldn't be a friend if I stood in their way. If they can make eachother happy then I'm all for it. Maybe I still feel a little guilty with the way I left things with Peyton, but I've been watching them for the last few weeks and they totally make sense.

Dude, you totally are allowed to go out with one of my exes if you want. I hear Nikki is single." I know Jake is joking about Nikki, even if he didn't laugh at the end I would have known from the bright laughter in his eyes. I can tell he's grateful though, and I'm actually glad he and Peyton either are or are going to be a couple, they click- it makes sense, at least to me. We share a slightly awkward hug before we go our separate ways, him, well I don't know where to and me, I'm off to find Brooke and talk to her.

As I walk down the hallway I see her walking out of the library, her face sporting that serious look it always does. The girl is beautiful no matter what her facial expression is but there is something about the way her eyes sparkle and the combination of her dimples with that smile that makes her happy face out of this world. The expression, in my opinion, is one she must always wear and I'll make it my duty to make sure she does. I grab her hand as our paths cross and drag her into an empty room.

I lock the door behind me, she looks at me her face now shocked. I think this is mainly because she was looking down when I grabbed hold of her. The element of surprise is the only thing I had going for me though considering she'd been avoiding me all day and I just really need to know she's ok. I take her in my arms and hug her, I don't know how long I held on but I know I could have held on forever. Just feeling her in my arms, having her solid form in my arms, knowing for sure she's alive and she's here.

"I was so worried." I whisper into her head and I feel her tense body ease up and relax, her arms even snake round my midriff. She keeps her head lowered but the fact she returned my hug means she can't be too angry at me could it? I think about how to phrase what I'm going to tell her, about the police and well just everything, but I mainly think about how I want to stay in this position forever but eventually I have to let go which I do reluctantly, she goes and sits on top of the teachers desk and I lean against one of the student desks in front of it, she looks at me expectantly and I'm just so glad she hasn't run away.

"You have no idea how scared I was." I begin, "Two weeks and no-one had heard a thing from you.

"I was visiting my aunt in Raleigh, she was sick so I stayed longer." I hear her parrot, I look up to the sky trying to see her father pulling her strings because she's his little puppet.

"We both know that's not true." I reply.

"Are you calling me a liar?" She sounds furious "Well there is no proof otherwise and please just stop interfering in my life and just…." I look at her pause and look at the ground almost like she doesn't want to finish the sentence but she does. "Please just leave me alone don't talk to me and please just stop caring." And with that she almost runs out the classroom tears in her eyes. I know that's not her talking it's the great puppet master Davis, and its too late to stop me caring, she may not want to talk to me but I'm going to be there for her every step of the way, maybe not by her side but I'll be there in the background and I'll stay in the background until she gets round to cutting her strings. With that thought in my mind I leave the room too.

--B--

I park my car in the first available parking space, and the happiness I feel when I open the door and place my foot on the tar-mac. Most people hate school, it's the bane of their life only going because they have to by law and by their parents. In all reality they would rather be at home or hanging out with their friends by the beach, I mean who wouldn't? Me, I'm different, school is my escape where I go to be free from my father, from my home, it is a place where I can pretend it isn't real. What happens at home? That was just a bad nightmare I had last night it didn't actually happen... its what I tell myself sometimes to stay sane. And while most people go to school reluctantly and can't wait to return home and hang out with friends, I can't wait to go to school and I dread returning home and I don't really have any friends to hang out with in the mean time.

I walk up to school, the joy of seeing it after being a prisoner in my own house for so long, I know I'll be a little behind in the work but I'm a hard worker and I'll be able to catch up and its not like I have that much else going on in my life to distract me. I had some work sent over but mainly only history and maths.

I've been so engrossed in my thoughts that I'm already halfway to my locker, I walk past Lucas and Haley, I can't help but marvel how handsome he is, his floppy blonde hair and those blue eyes of his. He could probably be a model. And I can't help but smile at the thought of Haley, I hope we get to talk later, we may have only made up a couple weeks ago but the love I had for her since I was a little is still very much there. I'm looking forward to maybe talking to her later because when I'm with Haley I feel normal, I feel like my old self or how my old self would be now if she had been allowed to develop with friends and without the constant threat of violence. As I quickly walk past the two on my way to the toilet, I feel Lucas lock his eyes on my retreating back and it sends a slight jolt through my body. I scurry into a stall in the toilets, I don't catch anyones eye and I like it that way, being invisible. When I'm invisible they leave me alone, no horrible comments, no loud whispering, no banging on the cubicle door just silence. I sit in this stall until I know I'll be just in time for class. If I'm early then I know Lucas will try to talk to me and I don't want that, so just in time is what I'm aiming for, as I hurry through the corridors to class.

I slow down when I reach the door and as I enter the classroom I keep my head bowed, I don't think I could face seeing Lucas because if I see him I'll talk to him and if I talk to him I'll tell him everything and that is not something I can allow to happen, not with my dads words still ringing in my ears about what he would do to Lucas. When I sit down I immediately put my head in my hands. I feel like it makes me invisible, I take notice of no-one (well apart from the teacher) and no-one takes notice of me. Well I would feel invisible if it was not for the fact I could feel Lucas' eyes boring a hole in my back. Its unrelenting and it starts to make me feel uncomfortable but I refuse to acknowledge it. Eventually Mr Reynolds does when he asks Lucas to stop looking at me and to pay attention to what he's saying causing everyone to look at him. I suppress a giggle when I hear him asking Mr Reynolds to repeat an unasked question. Typical, any doubts about him not listening where completely dashed. The rest of the lesson passes without any incident, and when the bell goes I chuck all my books in the back and race out the room, I know that if I stay Lucas will try and corner me.

---

It's lunch time and I head to the library to do some work, I have a lot to catch up on. Good grades, its the only thing I have that takes up my time so that I don't have to think about my life, it's the only really positive thing I have so I need to keep them up, it takes me away from my home. It's a necessity not just for my sanity but for my survival, I have a feeling that the next time my dad gets angry I may not be so lucky and the thought is terrifying me. I think that I'm just going to keep myself locked in my room away from him only coming out for meals because I'm so scared for me and for Lucas. Avoidance of well everyone is my only choice, to keep people away is to keep them safe. I may not be so lucky but I can protect the other people in my life.

I'm so lost in my thoughts, thoughts that make me feel like the biggest freak alive- who else worries about their father hurting them or their friends? That I don't notice Mr Reynolds and I knock into him spilling his coffee all over him.

"Oh Mr Reynolds! I am sooooo sorry, I wasn't looking and…" I begin distressed, if he gives me detention that's my perfect record ruined and my dad will be all over me like a bad rash. I try to clean his shirt with my cardigan but he not only stops me from trying to clean him up but also from talking.

"Its alright Brooke, I actually wanted to talk to." He tells me, I reply rather lamely with an 'oh' not quite sure what else to say. I wonder what he wants to talk to me about? I follow him into his empty classroom. He leans against his desk and I sit behind one of the smaller desks in front of his. I look at him, he is really handsome, he has such soft looking floppy hair, and such soft kissable looking lips. You can tell he takes care of himself, he looks like he's probably pretty ripped under his shirt, especially with the way the wet shirt was clinging to his muscles, I won't lie it is slightly distracting. He's one of those good looking people you expect in Hollywood not teaching High School English class in a small town somewhere in America. He looks at me intently with sky blue eyes which contrast so dramatically with his hair, those blue orbs of his reminds me of Lucas' eyes especially the way they seem to penetrate through me and see deep underneath my skin. I can't help but feel that if we were in a TV show this is the moment we would start a very intense and passionate affair, but it's not a TV show and he just doesn't compare to Lucas anyway. I have an image of Lucas with his blonde floppy hair sitting on the beach and turning to face me, its funny how much a memory can affect you. My heart little soared when that memory came flooding into my mind, and I actually forget where I am for a couple seconds.

"Is there anything you want to tell me? Maybe about your home life, or just about yourself are you ok?" He asks me, he looks really concerned, it actually makes me feel guilty because I'm going to have to lie.

"No, I'm actually pretty great." I say I biting my lip and smiling a big smile at him.

"I'm a teacher and I notice things," I can't help but get annoyed at his cagey observation, notice things? What does that even mean? I notice things too like birds sing more in the morning, and that sunlight is very bright when it is first thing in the morning and its streaming through the crack in your curtains and straight on your face, doesn't mean I'm going to talk to the birds or the sunlight and say 'hey I notice things' I think he notices my annoyed expression because he folds his arms across his chest and lets out a big sigh, "You left before I could give you all the notes and work you missed out on while you were helping your aunt." My expression changes from annoyed to what I hope is happy, but considering Mr Reynolds confused face I think its just pained.

"Thanks, I was worried about falling behind." He puts his hand in his bag and pulls out some paper and it to me, which I take gladly.

"If you ever need to talk to someone I am always here to help." He looks at me knowingly and I walk out the room feeling slightly worried, this came completely out of the blue. I guess teachers do notice things, although he's knew and I don't get how someone who has been here for a number of months can notice something teachers who have been teaching me for years haven't noticed.

Again I'm so lost in my thoughts I knock into someone else this time the papers in my hand go flying. I seriously have no idea what's wrong with me today I'm being such a klutz. The person I bumped into is less than helpful first shouting at me to look where I'm going then walking over my papers with his muddy boots laughing at his oh so hilarious and obviously very mature actions, high fiving his friends as he walks off.

I kneel to start picking up my papers, I notice someone else's knees opposite mine and I look up to see Haley helping me picking up the last papers. After we stand up she hands then to me and then pulls me into a warm embrace.

"Where have you been stranger?" She asks warmly as we walk down the corridor, she puts her arms around my waist and pulls me closer to her.

"I was in Raleigh looking after my sick aunt." I repeat the story my dad decided was suitable. Haley lifts her head up and gives me a strange look.

"Mmm, we missed you. Especially Lucas he was really worried about you… the stuff he said..." Haley tells me finally letting go, although I kind of regret it, it feels good being hugged safe in the knowledge that you are loved. I am slightly intrigued though, I hope Haley tells me what it is Lucas said. "Doesn't matter though because you're here and you'll be hanging with us." She says beaming at me, and practically drags me over to her normal table, ignoring my protests. To be perfectly honest I can't imagine a worse hell then being stuck on a table where the vast majority of people have been making my life even more of a living hell and wouldn't think twice about pushing me in front of a speeding bus, but as it happens I don't have much of a say in the matter as Haley seems to have already decided for me that I'm coming and I'm staying.

As I sit down some of the cheerleaders immediately get up I hear them muttering to themselves saying things like '_what is __**she**__ doing here_' '_I'm not going to hang here if the freak is here' 'She'll put me off her food._' It makes me want to get up and run as far away from this place as humanly possible. I'd rather spend the rest of my days alone in my room then surrounded by such hateful people and I actually stand up to go but Haley pulls me down. She whispers in my that she would rather be with me than with them. It makes me feel warm, just like the hug and I decide to stay for Haley. She decides to get everyone's attention by calling out that I'm here, I feel this is a big mistake, I hear Bevin speak

"Brooke? But I thought you were in the mental home because you schizophrenia came back. That's what Teresa said. That's why you weren't here." Peyton and Rachel tell her to shut up, they have no idea just how grateful I am to them for saying that, but then of course Tim had to speak.

"It wasn't Schizophrenia Bev, Brooke's body lice came back and -" This time Nathan tells him to shut up. Tim and Bevin aren't exactly MENSA members and they're just repeating what others tell them, but that's exactly what hurts so much others talk about me and spread such vicious rumours and lies. Every time I hear them it makes me die a little inside, it just kills me to know that people can hate someone so much they don't even know. I try my hardest not to cry and it seems to work.

Haley puts her hand in mine and squeezes it in a way that tells me to ignore the rumours the important people, to me, know that they are lies. Rachel moves to sit next to me and we end up all talking. It is actually a very enjoyable lunch break, Rachel is a very funny person with a tough exterior. I look up a few times at Peyton and I notice that she's looking at me, although she immediately looks away either at Jake or back down at whatever it is she's drawing.

Haley draws my attention back to her, she wants me to help choreograph the cheerleading team. I have no idea what to say, I loved choreographing our little routines back when we were younger. I was obsessed with the beautiful cheerleaders at the basketball games Nathan used to force me to watch. Their beautiful costumes and hair and make-up and those dance routines, it was my dream to be a cheerleader. Haley knows this, I don't think she just wants me to choreograph I think she wants me to actually join the team. I'm just intuitive like that. The thing is I'm not going to join a team where most of the people either, like to spread that I suffer from Schizophrenia and Body lice amongst other things, or, truly believe I suffer from them. Not just that, if I wear those tiny uniforms my scars will be visible for the whole world… ok well maybe not the whole world but the whole town and that feels like the whole world to me. It'll make them think I'm an even bigger freak and I know it looks hideous. But she seems to really want me to do it, and after all these years I feel like I owe her, she could ask me to jump off a cliff and I would do it. So I agree, Haley seems so happy when I agree but I'm still not sure if I've made the right decision. So long as I only choreograph, I'll be ok, and the way Haley hugs me and Rachel smiles I think I made the right decision.

I decide its time to go, I need to read through the notes Mr Reynolds gave to me and I do find it a little overwhelming here. They let me walk off back into the school and I'm grateful none of them stop me. I get inside and I sit down in the library. If there's one thing I love about the library is its stillness. A library is a place you go and learn. I believe more so than a school, because in school you have the clowns always interrupting lessons trying to be 'cool' and 'funny' making it hard to learn because the teacher has to deal with them instead of us and its all very disruptive, and then you have teachers who can't teach or teachers so disillusioned by their years of teaching that a part of them refuses to teach properly anymore and you end up not really learning anything. The library though, its silence and its rows upon rows of books and imposing sense of knowledge makes it an ideal place to learn. A place where you can go through what happened in lessons you missed, or in disrupted classes or to go over things the crap teachers didn't explain before giving you mountains of homework all pertaining to whatever it was they didn't actually teach, and all in peace. School is a place for learning, but so is a library and I prefer them. Nothing bad happens in a library, if it did you would hear it.

I spend the next 5 minutes or so in the library before I realise I left an important book in my locker so I put my books and work back in my bag and I leave the library. I walk, not really looking where I'm going, lost in thought about how to get out of helping Haley and Peyton with cheerleading even though it was my dream when I was younger to be on the cheerleading to team. The little cheers I used to make… but too much has happened to me to ever make that a reality and... But I get ripped from my thoughts as someone grabs my hand and pulls me into a classroom.

I look at the back of the person who dragged me into the room. I know immediately that it was Lucas, its not just the hair and stature that give him away but I also recognise the clothes that he's been wearing today. I'm a little shocked he's the last person I would expect to do this, and then I actually think about it and he is the only person I would expect to do this. Although it is a bit of a surprise because I didn't think anyone would want to talk to me so much that they would pull me into a classroom just so they could get me to talk to them.

He walks over to me and I'm sure he is going to start shouting at me and I tense up but instead he pulls me into a hug. I don't quite know how to react, should I hug him back? Or should I just stand there and hope he lets go? But just as I think about what I should do he whispers about how worried he was and I relax into his embrace and even put my arms around his midriff. I feel so at home here in his arms I never want to let go. They could find us here in 60 years time still in this position and I would be happy. His aftershave is intoxicating, his strong arms around me, I have never felt so safe and I know its fleeting but I'm going to hold on for as long as I can. I don't feel ready to let go and neither does he, obviously, as he still has his arms around me. Eventually he pulls away and leans against one of the desks in the front row and I hop on top of the teachers desk, hands underneath me while I look up at Lucas waiting to hear what he has to say, he pulled me in here for a reason.

"You have no idea how scared I was. Two weeks and no-one had heard a thing from you." He tells me, and I know its bad, but a little part of me lights up. I know he must have felt awful but that small part of me is so happy that someone cared enough about me to be worried. Is that _so_ wrong though when you think about it? I mean everyone wants to know that people love and care about them, they do crazy, insane and sometimes horrible things to other people just so they know that that person actually does like them. Playing games with a person is bad don't get me wrong, but that is not what I'm doing. I should probably say something to him.

"I was visiting my aunt in Raleigh, she was sick so I stayed longer." I sigh inwardly, the first thing I tell him after not seeing him for two weeks is that horrible lie my dad is forcing me to tell everyone. I haven't even got an aunt in Raleigh, I haven't even got an aunt, mom and dad were only children and my so were both sets of grandparents who have sadly also passed on. I literally have no-one except my dad but its not like people are going to look too deeply into the story are they?

"We both know that's not true." His response is perfect. It is very hard to ignore the existence of someone when they haven't done anything wrong, but when you can pretend to be angry at them? They stay clear of you for a while, while they hope you calm down. Personally I like the fact he knows it's not true but I really don't want my dad to carry out his threat. Lucas' problem is he probably cares too much and he doesn't deserve to get hurt or worse because of that.

"Are you calling me a liar?" Wow can I shout, Lucas looks dumbfounded, "Well there is no proof otherwise and please just stop interfering in my life and just…." I pause and look down at the I don't want to finish the sentence, it is going to hurt so much to tell him to leave me alone but it is something I have to do for both our sakes. "Please just leave me alone don't talk to me and please just stop caring." And I leave the room as fast as my legs will carry me without breaking out into a run. I refuse to look back at Lucas I just look at the ground, and in front of me every so often to make sure I don't bump into anyone. I get to the toilet and lock myself in a cubicle thankful that the toilets were actually empty. No tears fall, I think I have finally run out of them. And that makes me even more depressed, that I have cried so many tears I feel like I couldn't possibly ever produce anymore.

I sit on the toilet for a couple more minutes just trying to gather my thoughts, before I head off to my locker. I don't mind losing Lucas if it just means he stays safe, away from my father. For me, I can't get away because I know that somewhere deep, deep down inside my dad is still there and I want to be there when he finally makes his appearance back.

I open my locker and I notice a piece of paper fall out, I bend down to pick it up and it is a beautiful picture. In the background it has in watercolour; me, Haley and Peyton aged about 11 with our arms around each other and the biggest smile on our faces. I instantly recognise that picture because I have it framed on my desk in my bedroom, and it takes me back so that a little smile appears on my face. In the foreground is a beautifully detailed sketch of me with a venetian mask on hiding the upper part of my face. It must have taken Peyton ages to make as it is so life like. I know it's from Peyton as she is the only person who I know that is so amazing at art. Just next to the drawing of me in the mask it has written,

"_What happened to the girl I used to know? And what are you hiding behind that mask of yours –Peyton_.

"You better be there at cheerleading practice tomorrow." I hear a voice and my head to the side to see Peytons head peering over my shoulder looking at the picture she drew, she gives me a brief smile. I didn't hear her come up to me, but before I even manage to get a word out she's practically skipped off to Jake giving him a big grin and holding his hand as they walk off together.

_From caring comes courage.__  
__**Lao Tzu**_

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_**A/N:**__ Heres the next chapter, I have had major, major, major writers block with this story- hence the long break. I hope there are people out there still reading this story, and if you are make yourself heard and leave a review, no matter how long or short I really want to know if there are people still reading this story and they make me happy._

_Also I know not a lot happened this chapter, its kind of a 'filler' chapter but the next couple chapters will have a lot going on in them, so you won't want to miss them ;) =P. I now know what I want to do (at least for the next few chapters so there hopefully won't be such a long break which I am really sorry about)._

_Thank you to the people who favourited/alerted and reviewed you people 'rawk my socks'_

_**Long Live BRUCAS**_

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_**Love me some Julian**_

_**elle07**_

_**BrucasxNaleyxJeyton27**_


	13. AN4

A/N: I'm so sorry, I promised to have new chapters up soon and i didn't. I hope you guys don't hate me. There was just something going on in my life and instead of trying to fix it and work on it I ignored it and it got worse and worse and kind of exploded and I have to now clean up the mess, so yeh please don't be too annoyed. I promise I will have the new chapters up ASAP and as an apology i'll have the following chapters up quicker too, because now i have a lot more free time on my hand. (I also started a blog and a vlog for anyone interested lol).

I am definitely needing a Brucas fix right now anyway lol.

Soph xXx


	14. AN5

To those who read and liked this story, I am really sorry I haven't updated in like 2 years. Life got really busy and stressful and I completely forgot about my stories. But recently I got reminded again of this story and I really do believe you should finish what you start so for those who are still interested (and I really hope some of you guys are) I should be posting the next chapter in a few days. I do warn you that posting new chapters may be a bit sporadic (especially around exam times) but I am going to finish this story.  
So yeh, keep your eyes peeled, the next chapter will be here soon :P

Thank you for your time and patience


	15. Like a Man Possessed

**Disclaimer:** I don't own One tree hill or any of the characters, nor do I wish to. That would be waaay to much responsibility for a lazy person such as myself. I just enjoy watching it, and having fun with it.

**a/n:** I hope its good

* * *

_**Chapter 10: Like A man Possessed**_

"_Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are."_

_**Bernice Johnson Reagon**_

Here I am, standing in the corner of the gym watching the cheerleading team do the routine that Haley and I came up with. At first the girls didn't exactly take kindly to me talking to them let alone try to teach them a whole cheerleading routine. Actually not taking kindly to me is a nice way to put it, lets just say the first day I ended up running off home and it took Haley and Rachel the whole next three days to convince me to try again. When I did come back not a single mean comment was said and all the girls followed what I did or said exactly, no-one scoffed at me either which I found surprising. When I asked Haley what had happened she said that Peyton had had a talk with them. Of course no-one told me what had been said in the talk, but it doesn't matter either way, the girls do what I say and our routines have become more and more complex. The one their doing tonight is the most complicated one so far and they look great, I feel my cheeks flush with pride as I watch them. Haley has been busy trying to convince me to join the team and despite the fact it would be my dream I just can't wear those skimpy uniforms so I have to shoot down the idea every time which kills me a little inside. But I'm content with just being their choreographer the pride I feel bubbling in my chest as I watch them perform confirms that.

Of course the game has to start again sometime and the cheerleaders finish the routine and go back to the sidelines as the game starts up again. This is my cue to leave but I decide to stay and watch a little of Lucas play. This is the only form of contact we have, he watches me at cheerleading practice and I watch him play during the game. Otherwise we just ignore eachothers' existence, there is absolutely no social contact in any way, shape or form. At first I was slightly disappointed, yet relieved that he listened to me and wasn't trying to get involved, but now I'm slightly anxious because he doesn't seem the sort to just back off which means he's probably just biding his time. I don't know why but every time my eyes land on him I worry. Although now watching him play I feel a little proud, he has so much talent and with him, Nathan, Jake and Tim on the team I think we're going to do really well this season, not that I actually particularly care but its important to them so its important to me. And I know that this sounds weird, but I love seeing Lucas run around the court so focused and into the game, there is something almost primal about it. My thoughts are interrupted when game play stops for a couple seconds apparently there was a foul, and in the time out Lucas turns and looks straight at me. I feel my heart soar into my mouth and my insides feel like they've been turned to jelly. I decide that I've been here longer then I really should be and that it's probably best I go home. Dad has a business meeting in town which meant I could come here no questions asked, but I need to get home before he does otherwise all hell will break loose and I'm not in the mood for that. So I give the gym one last fleeting look, Haley notices me and gives me a small wave which I return before I leave the gym.

-L-

I feel her eyes on me. I know she's there in the background watching and it makes me feel good, it means she cares… that I have affected her some how and that we had a friendship going on. That means she learnt to trust me at least a little bit because, lets face it for any relationship to work properly, to actually be able to function there has to be trust on some level. I look up at her, I want her to know I know that she's watching me and the millisecond before she realises I'm staring straight at her there is this beautiful little smile on her lips and she looks happy, proud even. But she quickly snaps back into reality and her eyes stare back at me. Standing there just staring at eachother, I don't feel like I can move because all my insides have turned to lead. She quickly turns around and leaves and I snap back in to action helping the Tree Hill Ravens to victory.

After the game is over and I'm I start to think about Brooke again. I don't know what it is but that girl is on my mind 24/7, personally I'm finding it a struggle to be close to her everyday and not say a word. I promised and I like to keep my promises, but I find when I'm sitting next to her at lunch, all I can do is focus on how good she smells. I always try and walk past her so I can just take it in, which makes me feel a little like a crazed stalker but you know what? That girl smells damn good, and that just increases her attractiveness, which didn't need any increasing in the first place. I mean her smile and her eyes are entrancing. This image of her laughing at Nate's party comes into my head, the way her head tipped back and her eyes lit up and those dimples. My thoughts drift to the future and I'm winning the Nobel prize for literature, hey its not a dream if its not big. Anyway after I receive the prize from the king and I turn and see Brooke there smiling that smile at me, her face filled with pride, and then we're at the table during the banquet and she drapes her arms around my shoulders and she's so close I can smell that intoxicating scent of hers and feel her warm breath on my cheek as she whispers in my ear "You've made me so happy Lucas".

'Woah' I think to myself shaking my head, that kind of came from nowhere, winning the nobel literature with Brooke by my side? That seems kind of random although not unpleasant at all… actually I kind of like the idea. I wonder what my books will be about, they have to be good for me to be on the same level as Hemingway, Kipling, Kenzaburo Oe amongst others. Gah! I need to remember this is a fantasy not some kind of premonition, although it would be great if it was a premonition. I shake my head to try and get my thoughts back on track.

I get in through the front door and greet my mom with a kiss and Keith with a hug. I get to go about my evening like a normal teen does, play some video games, tickle my baby sister, do my homework, tease my mom. I get to be happy, and later that evening as I'm lying on my bed throwing the basketball up at the ceiling and then catching it my thoughts drift back to Brooke and what her evening might have been like after she left and how it was probably filled with fear instead of happiness and it makes me feel sick inside. I have to help her, no more of this standing on the side and watching and waiting because all that means is I do nothing until something breaks then I get to stick it back together again… but what if its to broken to be fixed then what do I do? I can't just stand and watch her go through hell and do nothing about it. I need to start being pro-active. The problem is I don't know what I can exactly do, I could kidnap her and refuse to let her go back to that house, but I have a feeling that wouldn't go down to well and I may be the one who gets in trouble instead of Mr Davies. That idea may do more harm then good actually. I'll just put that down as plan B. This means I need a good solid plan A as I seriously don't want to have to resort to plan B unless I truly have to.

Still, this is still a big undertaking, rescuing Brooke and I don't think I am capable of doing it by myself, but who can I actually talk to about it? Haley wasn't too responsive to the idea that Mr Davies was anything but the man she used to know when I broached the idea before, so she isn't really an option, neither is Peyton in all honesty. Rachel however is, she seems to really like Brooke and Brooke seems to reciprocate those feelings. Skillz, Mouth and Jake are options but Brooke doesn't know them too well and isn't really comfortable around them yet, then again she's not comfortable around most people, still I don't know… I'll call them to help with option B if option A doesn't work out, option A being Nate. They go back a long way and I know he cares for her. Plus, Nate is great in a bad situation. Problem with Nate is that he may share Haleys' sentiments and not want to hear about it. Still it's a chance I have to take, together we can come up with a plan to save Brooke… at least I hope we can, I furrow my brows, no we WILL. I throw the ball one last time, catch it then I put it on the floor next to my bed. It's time to sleep, tomorrow I'll talk to Nate and if that doesn't work out I'll talk to Rach, maybe with Rachel on my side it will be easier to convince Nate. But then I have to try and convince Rachel and what if I can't. I pinch the bridge of my nose in an attempt to stop a headache forming. Forget about the 'what ifs', at least I'm doing something. I go to sleep happy in the knowledge that I'll be doing something, instead of sitting on my ass and waiting for the shit to hit the fan.

-B-

I'm in bed reading a book when I hear the door open and my dad come in, I automatically tense up. I listen intently to his footsteps down below, they disappear which means he's gone into one of the rooms, either the kitchen or the TV room. I don't really mind which because it means he won't be up here for a while and if I manage to fall asleep in the mean time then he won't bother me when he does come up. I mean he likes to check in on me to make sure I'm in bed like a good girl but when I'm sleeping he usually just leaves me alone. I put my book down and snuggle down under my covers but before I have the time to get comfortable I hear the sound of his footsteps coming up the stairs and walking down the corridor, slow and deliberate, when they come to a stop outside my room I feel sick with dread. I hear his hand turning the door knob and he comes in.

"Brookie Cookie, are you sleeping?" He whispers, I'm confused if he's in a bad mood he comes barging in, he doesn't care about waking me up. The light goes on and he'll scream and shout at me… he never whispers. Still I stay silent, I don't want to have to deal with him, and if he thinks I'm asleep he may just go and leave me alone. However this doesn't happen, he actually walks softly up to my bed and sits on the side of it. I can feel him staring at me but I keep my eyes closed, his hand is on my hair and he gently tucks a strand behind my ear, and I feel his warm breath on my face accompanied by the stench of alcohol. I feel his lips make contact with my forehead. Now I'm thoroughly confused, he hasn't kissed me or shown me much real affection in a number of years. So I pretend to wake up as a result of the kiss.

"I didn't mean to wake you." He tells me quietly.

"It's ok." I reply in what I hope is a sleepy voice. I turn the light by the side of my bed on and sit up. My dad turns so he can face me better, the light in the room shows there is a big smile on his face. I haven't seen him look this happy in a long time.

"The meeting went well." He tells me his voice trembling with excitement, he literally looks 10 years younger and like an excited schoolboy, I can't help grinning, he seems genuinely happy. "Things were signed, balls started rolling… How does a summer holiday on our new mega yacht sound like?" He gives me the biggest grin I have ever seen so I return the favour by giving him the biggest grin and hug him. I rest my head on his shoulder and he wraps his arms around me.

"Sounds great," I reply.

"Good, because I finished buying one last week," He laughs, a sound I haven't heard in so long and suddenly I feel like I'm 8 years old again and that my daddy is the greatest man alive. I can't help but feel optimistic that my daddy is coming back to me. If anything this proves that the man my dad used to be is still in there. We spend most of the night talking about everything, work and school, the news even celebrity gossip. He doesn't apologise for the way he's behaved over the past few years and I wouldn't expect him to either. Baby steps right? It's just amazing having him laugh and smile and have him be in a room with me for longer than 10 minutes without getting angry or at the very least annoyed at me.

I must fall asleep at some point because I wake up in the morning, the sunlight hitting my face. Dad isn't here anymore, but that's ok. I'm still so happy after last night. I feel like we really connected in a way we haven't in years and I feel closer to him than I have for the longest time. The dad I love is still in there and he's going to come back to me, I know it. I feel a faint sense of foreboding like the calm before a storm kind of thing, but I push that down, I don't want to ruin this great elated feeling I currently have. I manage to keep a smile on my face all the way to school, where I greet everyone with it.

"Some one is a happy bunny." I hear Haley whisper behind me, I turn to her and Nathan and nod enthusiastically. "Ha glad to hear it." There is a long pause while Haley looks at me expectantly. " Well aren't you going to tell me…" This time my head shakes, which makes Haley frown.

"I think it may have to do with a certain blonde half brother of mine." Nathan says winking at me. Lucas then walks past us moments later and I greet him also with a big grin, but he walks by with a confused and almost angry looking frown. "Oh maybe not then." Nathan says in response to seeing Lucas' expression.

"Come on we have a class to get to." I say grabbing some books from my locker. I feel slightly disheartened by Lucas' expression but I don't really blame him, it must be confusing having someone like me in his life.

-L-

I walk into school, a man on a mission. I keep my eyes open for Rachel and Nathan. I don't see Rachel but I see Nate with his arm around Haleys shoulder laughing with Brooke at her locker. As I walk by I stare at the scene, Brooke is smiling and laughing. She seems happy, like I've never seen her before. I get confused, I have never once see her arrive at school with a smile on her face. Something must have happened. I could question her about it later. However right now Operation 'save Brooke' is my priority and questioning her as to why she is so happy seems counter productive. I need to get Nathan and/or Rachel on my own and tell them what is going on and help take part in Operation 'save Brooke'. However finding either Nathan or Rachel by themselves is a seemingly impossible task in itself, I barely see them today and when I do they are surrounded by people and I have to be somewhere else. But seriously how can two people have soo many friends? They are never alone, ever! Don't they ever get any down time? I get disheartened; operation 'save Brooke' hasn't exactly gotten off to a flying start. I try after practice to talk to Nate but he's already gone before I even emerge from the shower, according to Tim he has plans with Haley, but Tim couldn't say where exactly. I then decide to look for Rachel first, maybe talk to her before Nate. I wait outside the school entrance and wait for her to emerge. She comes out laughing at something Bevin said, Bevin tends to keep those around her in hysterics. She is a good person with a kind heart, she just never seems to think before she talks, still she is quite entertaining in that respect. I walk up to Rachel,

"Hey Rach, can we talk" I say behind her, she turns around and faces me with her trademark smirk and wraps her arms around my neck.

"I knew this day would come," She winks at me "took longer than I expected though" She moves in for a kiss but I jerk my head to the side and remove her arms from around my neck.

"This is serious Rach." I tell her, she looks annoyed but intrigued and motions to Bevin to leave, which she does. We walk over to a bench and sit down, completely alone. I sit there trying to find a way to broach the topic, to find the words that expresses my worries and fears. I know behind Rachels icy façade that she actually really cares for Brooke. The last month or two they definitely seem to have gotten close, their personalities clicked in a way that was unexpected. But Rachel isn't the type to shout her feelings from the rooftop, so to notice how deeply she cared for Brooke you had to look for the subtle signs.

"Lucas just spit it out, I don't have time to waste sitting here waiting for you to talk. You know I have better things and people to do with my time." Rachel said exasperated, it must have taken me much longer than I thought trying to find the words to expresses my fears about Brooke.

"This is about Brooke". I start,

"I guessed that" Rachel responded "You want to know how to approach her, or to find out if she likes you back? Is that it? She tries to hide it, but I see how her face lights up when she sees you and hears your name. She thinks she's hiding her feelings so well but we can't control our expressions completely even if its for a split second"

I stare at her dumbfounded for a second, what was she on about? "Erm, ok good to know but not where I was going with this conversation."

"It wasn't?" Rachel replied, her bored expression now switched to a curious one.

"I think Brookes dad, well I think something is going on there." I sigh and take a deep breath "I know this accusation is quite out there, but, I think her dad is hurting her. And I'm really worried about her." I watched as Rachel studied my face intently for a couple of moments, trying to decide if I was being serious or if I was playing some form of joke on her.

"You're serious" She stated flatly after a couple moments, "you know you can make statements like that without solid proof to back it up. So do you have proof? Or is it just your gut? Because no-one will take you seriously if its your gut" I have never seen Rachel so serious before. It's kind of refreshing to see this side to her. When all you ever is her party and fun loving side, it's easy to forget she can be serious and it seems like she would probably be good in a crisis. I feel better about going to her, instead of Haley or Peyton. She has never met Brookes father so she can't have any idea of what he was like in the past, her mind can't be clouded by memories.

"I know this is a serious accusation to make, I truly, truly know that." I need Rachel to believe that this is not something I made up but something that I have thought long and hard about and that has been troubling me for months. "But it's something I really believe is happening, and it has been worrying me for the last few months. I can't help but worry if the next time I see Brooke will be the last time". Rachel looks at me her eyebrows drawn together in a frown.

"Don't be so dramatic Lucas."

Why doesn't she get it? I am not being dramatic, I am seriously worried about Brooke. You hear stories like this all the time and the majority of them do not have happy endings. I don't want Brooke to end up another statistic. "I am not being dramatic." I say my voice slightly raised "I've seen Brooke limp, and her back bleed before and she always comes up with pathetic excuses. Have you ever noticed how she doesn't like to talk about her home life? Or have you ever wondered why she started pushing people away? Something bad is happening to her and I need your help."

"but Lucas, this isn't hard fact, it's your gut and that just isn't enough. And what could we do? I mean seriously, we can't drag her away from that place, he is her father and she is under 18. We can't go to the police without evidence. The most we could do is try and convince her to press charges against him, and if she's scared that could be really hard to do. And what if he isn't hurting her and you just misunderstood the situation, at best you just make a fool of yourself and at worst you just levelled a very serious accusation at someone and that could do some real damage." Rachel looks at me her green eyes pleading with me to understand where she is coming from. She even gently places her hand on my shoulder.

"I'd rather make a fool of myself and do something then sit by and do nothing while someone I care about is hurting". I respond, while I understand her comments I'm just annoyed at her attempting to bury her head in the sand. Rachel is a feisty girl who can stand up for herself, it's one of the reasons I wanted her to be here to help me. I need her on side because I can't do this alone and so far I haven't go anyone else.

"Hey, I didn't say I didn't believe you. And I will help just tell me what I need to do and I'll do it but I don't really know what we can do." I understand her feelings of complete uselessness in this situation, because I feel it too.

"Really you'll help?" I'm actually surprised by this, but glad.

"Duh, Brooke is a good person and what you say actually explains a lot if it is true and I like I said believe it is. No-one deserves whatever it is she's going through" I look at Rachel, I doubt any of the others would believe me if I told them about this genuine side to Rachel, although I doubt that Rachel would want me to tell them either after all she has a reputation to uphold.

"Ok, first I plan to talk to Nate, get him onside then the three of us can get together and decide what to do from there." She nods in agreement, finally I am so glad to have someone on my side to talk about this with. To help me with helping Brooke.

"If only I could get to that asshole and tell me how I feel." Rachel says angrily shaking her head and silently I agree with her idea. In fact, why don't I do that? Let him know that what he's doing is sick and he is going to get what is coming to him. I watch as Rachel walks to her car and then drive out of view. Now all I need to do is talk to Nate and talk to Brookes dad. I was trying to formulate a plan of action for me Nate and Rachel to carry out. An idea of what we'll do, as I'm trying to formulate a plan I see a familiar face come out of school.

"Hey Brooke! Brooke wait up! HEEY!" I yell as I jog after her, managing to catch her up by her car. I'm pleased to see her even if her face is holding an annoyed expression. She's so beautiful, but the sadness in her eyes, it really does just hurt my heart to see it.

"What do you want Lucas?" She looks at me and I can tell she's irritated, "I told you to leave me alone." I remember her telling me that, the way her face looked when she shouted at me, it wasn't one of anger, but surprise, surprise that she could be forceful and shout at someone. Over the years she had become a timid person, so it was nice seeing her feisty side, a side she didn't even seem to realise she had.

"I remember, how could I forget?" she seemed to bow her head in either shame or sorry, perhaps both, "But I want you to know that I can't stay away from you especially when I know what he's doing to you and knowing that I can help. Brooke I can't just sit back and do nothing, I care too much about you." Brookes face, well it stopped being irritated and now just looked sad and worried, and then it was like those expressions had never graced her beautiful face, which was now like a blank canvas devoid of any emotion.

"I don't know what you're talking about." Brooke said as she opened the door to her car and got in, and I noticed how while she was doing this she kept her head bowed purposefully not looking at me. Maybe because she knows that if I saw her face she would know that I would know she was lying or maybe if she saw my face she would break down and admit everything. I don't really know but it was interesting how she can't face me when she's lying.

"Don't play stupid Brooke you're better than that. I know what he is doing to you and I won't let it continue. I really won't, he's not going to hurt you anymore because I won't let him. Brooke you are a good person and you don't deserve what he is putting you through." For a brief second I swear I saw what looked like sheer and utter terror on Brookes face but as soon as it was there it was gone again, replaced by her poker face. Sometimes her stoicism really gets to me, when you're in pain and hurting tell someone, she shouldn't have to endure what she is alone, not when there are people here willing to help her.

"You know what Lucas, you think, you're so smart and know everything but you really don't. You do not have a CLUE what is going on here so drop it and leave me alone. Just please get out of my life and leave me alone. I don't want or need you in it and I don't need your protection. So go home and enjoy your life and leave your big nose out of mine." With that she slammed her car door shut and zoomed out of the school parking lot. I know she didn't mean what she said, if she did there would have been venom in her voice and anger maybe even malice. But her tone was sad and frightful, I think she's scared and is pushing me away because she's frightened I might get hurt too. But I'm a big boy and not the one who needs protecting. Anyway she just in a round about way admitted something was going on.

I sent a message to Rachel as I headed back to my truck "B admitted something is going on. I receive her reply just before I rev up the engine, "Really? Lets go get that S.O.B!" I smile, getting him will be so sweet. And I drive out on to the main road happy that I'll be doing something, before I know it I'm actually on Brookes driveway. I start having doubts as to how clever this idea actually is. By the time I knock on the door I have intense second thoughts to this plan. I know I'm probably making a bad situation much worse, but I need to do this, he needs to know what he is doing is wrong, so horribly wrong.

"Hey Mr Davies, you know you have a beautiful and smart daughter who you do not deserve. You are a sick man and I am going to get Brooke as far away as possible from you even if it is the last thing I do." It's interesting how his face became so red and how his body permeated anger. He doesn't say a single word to me but slams the door in my face with such force the door frame rattles. I head home, trying to make a plan of what to tell Nathan, while trying to ignore the sinking feeling in my stomach telling me I just made a bad situation worse.

-B-

I have only been in my room for a couple of minutes before I hear the doorbell ring, I walk out on to the landing in order to head down and open the door but my father beats me to it and whilst muttering some expletives under his breath he goes and opens the door. I sit down on the top stair, my face peering the banister. I can't be seen easily but I can see everything that goes on easily. I gasp when I see Lucas at the door, after our little encounter earlier I know this cannot be good. I watch the scene unfold from my vantage point. As Lucas speaks I observe my dads cool demeanour suddenly stiffen. He stands there and doesn't say a word, but I can feel the anger and hate radiate off him. To say he is angry is an understatement and I am scared, I am actually terrified as to what he might do, not to me but to Lucas. As the words he said just before he let me back to school resound in my head "If you ever tell anyone what has happened, it won't be you who gets hurt." I can't let him hurt Lucas, not when all Lucas is doing is just trying to protect me. It's a fools errand and one he may end up paying dearly for so I have to do something to stop him. But I don't know what.

I get rudely torn away from my thoughts by the door being slammed so hard it makes the room doorframe shake. I watch as my dad gets his cell out and dials a number, who he calls is made clear within seconds.

"Scott, you're son was here." There was a pause before he angrily remarked "No the other one, the blonde one. Look I don't care he is your flesh and blood. Anyway I just called you to tell you that you know you're ruined in this town now? I will make sure of it. Everything you worked for years to build, with my help? Watch as it all comes tumbling down around you." He said the last part so calmly and coolly it was eerie. I can't say Dan doesn't have it coming, from what I remember the guy wasn't nice. But I seriously got chills down my spine. And that was just to Lucas' 'dad' the closest family member he can punish right now, but imagine what he will do to Lucas when the opportunity strikes. This will just be the beginning of his revenge, my dad does not like being spoken to like that especially by a 'kid', and the fact he got threatened by said kid will not have gone done well. My dad doesn't do things by halves, when he goes for something he all out goes for it, I'm really worried thinking about what dad will do. In fact I can't, it hurts my heart too much to imagine what he might do to him. I have to fix this, I can't have Lucas or anybody else get hurt because of me.

I have no idea what I'm going to do, still I run to my room grab my bag that I just moments earlier had put on my bed. Dad moved to his office or maybe the kitchen to get another beer… I don't know and I don't care, I'm just glad he's nowhere near the entrance so I can make a quick escape. I know dad hears the front door close and I know he's going to be mad, he's already angrier than I have ever seen him. And it scares me that the anger is mainly directed at Lucas. What was Lucas thinking? When is it ever a good idea to kick a hornets nest?! Ok I know what he was thinking, he saw I was in trouble and tried to help but at what cost? The last thing I was going to do was to let him get hurt.

I get in the car, I feel full of purpose and before I know it I'm parked down the street where Lucas' house is situated. But I think twice about going in. I can't actually outright tell him what is going on, he's doing this based solely on his gut feeling. I have no idea what he'll do when I confirm his beliefs are in fact reality. I just can't go in and tell him to stop without admitting what is going on, can I? I don't know, I just know I'm not in the mood for the inevitable big confrontation that will happen if I go in there. I just sit here in my car contemplating what the best course of action will be. I sit there a while before I pull my bag close towards me and sort through it, finally finding the object I was searching for.

I open the contact list on my cell phone, who should I call? Peyton still wasn't really acknowledging me, she was tolerating me sure, but not enough for me to call her about this. Haley, I don't think Haley could deal so well with this, our friendship is still so fresh I don't want to harm or upset her and any way. Rachel, well she was a party girl all about having fun and making the most of the few years we have on this planet, not someone you can turn to in a crisis, and anyway I wouldn't want to spoil her fun. As I was scrolling down the list for potential candidates, a name popped out at me. Mr Reynolds, I mean like he said he's a teacher and 'he notices things'. I giggled to myself when I remembered that line, it really annoyed me at the time, you'd think an English teacher would have come up with a better line than that. But he did say he was here to help and I should be able to trust a teacher right? He said I could talk to him if I ever needed to, and anyway he's new into the teaching world, so he's not too disillusioned yet and is still willing to help.

As I press dial, I start to have second thoughts, I can't drag another person into this can I? It's unfair on him to be forced into such a situation with a student, not when he's only been an official teacher for a couple months. I'm about to hang up when I hear a voice on the other end.

"Hello, Max Reynolds speaking, how may I help you?" It's too late to hang up now, so I might as well ask for his advice. I mean he's on the phone now. I take a deep breath and slowly tuck a strand of hair behind my ear.

"Hey, Mr Reynolds, it's Brooke Davies, you said if I needed to talk you would be here to help." I say trying to sound as cheery and nonchalant as possible, that way he doesn't think there is anything wrong.

"Brooke? Are you ok?" He sounds concerned and I get concerned that I have made him worry,

"Well I have a friend, and I think that friend may have gotten in way above their head in a situation and doesn't realise the danger they could be in, or they could be putting others in."

"Brooke is this, is this about you?" He questions, I know his brow is probably furrowed and he is frowning.

"No it isn't" I suddenly realise how stupid this was there is no way he can help me realistically what can he do? My dad is a powerful man and he's just a teacher and I doubt he would even be that once my dad finished with him. And it's not like I could tell Mr Reynolds everything either and there would be no guarantee Lucas would even listen to him. "I'm sorry Mr Reynolds, this was stupid, I'm overreacting, I'm sorry if I made you worry,"

"No wait Brooke-" But I hang up the phone and toss it to the passenger seat next to me. I see it go off a couple times. Mr Reynolds calling me back, but I realise now that isn't much of an option after all. I need someone that I know and trust that Lucas will listen to. But I can't think of anyone who ticks all those boxes. I start rubbing my temples, I feel such a headache coming on. I open the glove department to get an aspirin, but I get distracted by a photo I forgot I had. As I look at this picture it clicks in my head, I know exactly who I have to go to for help.

_I think one's feelings waste themselves in words, they ought all to be distilled into actions and into actions which bring results._

**_Florence Nightingale_**

* * *

A/N: I still feel really bad about the long break between chapters, I'm handing out cyber sorry cookies to all my loyal readers. I am really sorry about how long its taken for me to update this story. My life got hectic and I completely forgot about my stories until I decided to delete some files and came across them. I hope the chapter is ok, I had parts already written, but I completely forgot where I wanted to go with the story. Because of school (I have exams in October) and my other story, updates may not be quite so often but the next chapter will be up by November. Also sorry for any mistakes, I have been really exhausted the last couple of weeks so I may have missed some.  
A big thanks to everyone who read and favourited/followed this story. Also a big thanks to those who reviewed.

OTH-Brucas-love

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JustLikeBrookeDavis

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Long Live BRUCAS

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L confronts B's father

B dad threatens L.

L talks to Mr R.

B goes to see L play and H/P cheer.

B and N talk about past and sucky parents.

B tells N everything, goes crazy.

B not allowed to leave Dad


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